Taking DD’s to Disneyland separately

[Hilowmaybeno]

My in-laws are convinced this is a totally awful plan and we’ve lost our mind so I’m looking for some opinions. We have 2 DDs. DD1 is 4 and DD2 is 2.
We are thinking for DDs 5th birthday we want to take her to Disneyland Paris for a couple of days. The way it works out is DDs school close for summer on the Friday, we will do a party on the Sunday, her birthday is the Tuesday and then Thursday-Sunday (I know busy days) Disneyland Paris. I don’t think we should take DD2 with us as I want it to be a special birthday treat for DD1. Then in a couple of years when it’s DD2s 5th birthday we can do the same.
I feel especially since DD1 started school that we just don’t get very much time with her alone now, especially not with DH too and I’d love to spoil her a little for her birthday. It wouldn’t replace our main summer holiday it would be an add on so DD2 wouldn’t actually be missing out.
My in-laws think it might be fine this time but I’m asking for hell when it’s DD2’s turn and DD1 is 7.

AIBU to want to talk DDs to Disneyland on separate trips?

Efteling is a lot more family friendly and better than Disney imo.

Fwiw I'd take your oldest dd.....then take both in a couple of years. Avoid weekends tho, the crowds are horrific. I'm talking police on horseback doing crowd control. 😬

You mean you don't just nip to Wimbledon or the Alps every weekend? 😂😂😂

I think your plan is entirely sensible except for picking just about the worst dates for queues!

To add to above

I grew up going to very different schools than my siblings (I also boarded, they did not) and my dad liked to do individual trips with us based on our holiday schedules and interests. But that was when we were teens. Teens are very different from 5 and 7-year-olds and can think in longer time-spans. "It will be my turn to go on a big exciting trip in two years" or "I got to go on a trip 2 years ago so it's fair to be left at home with grandparents now" is an accessible concept for a 17-year old, not a 7-year-old.

I would go as a family but take dd on a special shopping trip prior to buy new clothes and spend time with just her there, swopping over, go again when dd2 reaches 5

If you want a life lesson for them this is it. It’s just ‘life’.

Not the Alps darling, far too common 😉

DD’s school breaks up 2 weeks earlier than most English schools but since most of Europe is already on school holidays by then I’m assuming that won’t really make a difference?

This is beginning to sound more like a not so stealthy brag than a genuine question.

But OP you’re talking abut Disneyland, that’s not the same as a special meal out. Come on now seriously, you’re not new to parenting, why are you being so naive?

I feel bad about this, as you’re clearly not trying to be, but goodness you’re irritating, OP.

Christ.

Hmm yes it is starting to come across like this OP.

Most of us are approaching this from a perspective of Disneyland being a very special treat.

But sure, if your daughters are going to grow up in a household where weekend trips abroad to amazing locations are undertaken multiple times a year and Disneyland isn’t really going to stand out as something special, then knock yourself out. Lucky old you and lucky old them 👏

I’m sorry, I didn’t meant to come across as irritating.

I get you want some special time with your first daughter, but I wonder what she thinks and I wonder if she would miss her sister.

sounds like you were brought up with the same mindset so makes sense to you maybe not to everyone else

just see how it goes but dont exclude anyone when theyre older-we always went away together until adults when we deicded when we wanted to go or not

i would avoid weekends there though its bad enough during holidays weekends are ten times worse also bastille day

I can definitely see both sides. You are very sensible to rule out taking a 2 year old. It would be dreadful and would spoil it for you, your daughter and her.
However I do see the point that your future 7 year old will be upset. I see what you have done with the phone/car analogy but by those ages the kids will be older and more able to reason why they are being 'left out'. A 7 year old won't understand why her sister is going to DL and not her.
Would it not be better to take them both when they can both appreciate it? Perhaps ages 6 and 8? That's not to say that you shouldn't have some fab 1-1 birthday time for her 5th - you could still do lovely day out, leaving the other with GP, and then reciprocate when your younger child is 5.

Its nowhere near the same as either of those things though is it? Assuming that your eldest gets a phone at 11 and a car at 17 and that youre not going to take them away from dd1 when dd2 is old enough for a phone/car. Dd1 will still have her phone and car even when dd2 gets them. Not a great comparison. I absolutely could not do what youre planning to either of my kids. I get the intention but seems kind of cruel. Go twice if you can afford it. Or do something nice on dd1s 5th birthday and then all go to DWP when dd2 os older

Its nowhere near the same as either of those things though is it? Assuming that your eldest gets a phone at 11 and a car at 17 and that youre not going to take them away from dd1 when dd2 is old enough for a phone/car. Dd1 will still have her phone and car even when dd2 gets them. Not a great comparison. I absolutely could not do what youre planning to either of my kids. I get the intention but seems kind of cruel. Go twice if you can afford it. Or do something nice on dd1s 5th birthday and then all go to DWP when dd2 os older

I’m from a fairly ridiculously privileged background. However, it takes an incredible lack of awareness to type out something like this and hit ‘post’: My sister often went to Roland Garros or Wimbledon with my parents alone while we stayed with grandparents. My parents would take me snowboarding alone and leave the others, my other sister enjoyed surfing so they would take her to Biarritz for a weekend, my other sister really enjoyed F1 so my parents would take her to Silverstone or Belgium for the Grand Prix.

Like, come on.

I genuinely don’t know what you want from this thread. I hope you have a nice time at Disney.

You can easily do this now with the older one - leave the younger with grandparents.

But accept that the younger one isnt going to get to do this on her own - you cant leave a 7 year old behind.

Enjoy your time at Disney with your eldest, just dont expect to be able to replicate it in a few years for your youngest.

Right? It’s so crass, it makes me think maybe OP is on a wind up…

You should just take DD1 this time, then in 3 years time take both girls but make it a birthday trip for DD2.

you don’t need justification for not taking DD2 beyond the fact that she is currently too little. Don’t over think it.

Yes - surely this is the way to go.

But it’s only a very special treat if you make a big deal of it. If you build it up to be a trip of a lifetime (it’s not) your children see it like that, if you’re a family who do lots of nice things which the op sounds like they do, it’s not such a big deal. I couldn’t even pretend to make it a big deal. We did it because we kind of felt we had to. I totally regret it, the kids got bored after a couple of hours and we ended up not even using up our tickets for all the days

Can you not just… do something else?? Even just going to, say, Paultons Park would be a lovely day out for the three of you and wouldn’t have the same connotations as bloody Disneyland. Just go and have a nice day SOMEWHERE.