Moving in with partner- pay £400 rent? Is that ok?

[Susan7654]

My partner and I are both single parents and have been together for five years. We’ve decided to move in together at his house. I’ve been renting until now.

His daughter (19) works full-time and pays him £300 a month as she’s no longer in education. My daughter is 18 and still in college.

He earns £52,000 a year ( mortgage around £1400pcm) and I earn £28,000. I’d like to contribute fairly to the household, but I’m not sure how much is reasonable. Of course, I’ll pay for food, bills, and my own expenses.

I was thinking around £400 a month rent, plus half of the household bills, in addition to covering my food and personal costs.

Does that sound fair, or should I contribute more (or less)?
We didnt discussit yet. His daughter expects my daughter to pay too same amount, as she wants it to be fair. My daughter only works part time.
In that case should I pay £600?
I didnt discuss it with him yet as I dont know whats right and I tend to be overgenerous and than regret...
We are engaged but not planning on marrying anytime soon. We first want to try it out, see how it goes.

" His daughter expects my daughter to pay too same amount, as she wants it to be fair"

She gets a short sharp lesson in what is fair then

You and partner are the adults. She can pay her dad whatever they agree between them. Just as your DD can pay you when she is working.

You and your OH need to discuss this: what you both think is equitable, his DDs attitude/expectations

It may be that their relationship make it impossible for you and your DD to live with them without there being resentment. Best get that figured out before you make the leap!

Maybe suggest £400 for you and your DD and £200 for his DD to be fair - he's still getting a chunk of rent plus bills split, he'll be saving each month and hopefully you'll all be better off

I don't think £400 is over generous for accommodation for the two of you!

I think offering £600 would be fair. Presumably you'll still be better off than you were before? As long as you aren't financially disadvantaged I think this is what I would offer.

Presumably his daughter is paying a low amount because she is saving up to move out at some point? Your contribution shouldn't be based on whatever agreement they have between themselves. Typically you would split the total cost of living expenses based on income or whatever the market rate rental value would be for a similar property. In terms of your daughter, presumably the same applies, she pays lower than market rate because she will be saving up too? In which case her contribution should be pro rata based on what his daughter is paying as a full time worker, presuming she pays him directly and you don't combine your contributions.

Don’t do it.

Sounds like chaos and when it all goes wrong, it will be your daughter (and probably you) that will be homeless.

do you rent currently?

I think £600 rent, half the bills, half the food and your daughter gives you £175 a month - this should leave you with around £850 a month

What is your current rent?

Yes, I rent. I dont mind paying him, and he is reasonable. His daughter is still a teenager so behaves bratty.
But my daughter really wants to move in together, more than I do!

£900

Do you have a tenancy for life OP? For me I would tread very wisely if I were you. I wouldn't give it up because living with a partner is hard work.

You will be homeless if things didn't work out. I think £400 isn't enough for rent for 2 people. You need to discuss money with your partner. Do both DDs get along?

If you want an equitable split based on wages: it's 35:65
Mortgage £1,400
He pays £910 (65%)
You pay £490 (35%)

However, if you want to buy into the mortgage now or at a later date or have your contribution going towards the mortgage, is get legal advice and something drawn up.

I think the kid issue should be separate and based on their situations.

If his daughter is a brat, you are asking for trouble moving in with them, OP. Do you really think she'll improve if a couple of other people move in?

Well, £600 to your dp will save you £300/month. I mean, it needs to be a good deal for you and for him.

Work out between you and dp what you will pay for both yourself and dd to live there. If you want your dd to contribute, she pays you, not him. Do not engage in any negotiation with his dd. It's none of her business what either of you pays.

Similarly, anything his dd pays has nothing to do with your arrangement with him.

I think you'd need that £300 for gin!

To be honest I would keep things as they are. It could get awfully messy. What happens if you move it and it doesn't work out. Would you be able to easily rent somewhere else. Maybe keep your rental on, and trial it for a couple of months. £600 sounds fairer to me, £400 is too low considering there will be two of you.

Plus bills, which would be an extra few hundred at least.

OP’s trying her luck!

I think it's not bad if she's splitting all the bills too.

I think the answers here are skewed because I'm guessing his DD's contribution of £300 is her total, rent + bills, whereas you're proposing £400 rent, plus additional for bills + food for yourself and your DD. What would you foresee your total being? What would be affordable to you?

Whatever you agree, make sure you leave room to keep savings. If things go pear shaped, you need an 'escape fund' to be able to rent a new place.

Also, whatever you agree with your DP, it's your private business. His DD needs to keep her nose out and not be part of the discussion. If she's being bratty now, I doubt it'll get better when you move in.

My partner needs me to move in, as he needs extra money to cover his mortgage and expenses. He would be strugling just him and his daughter- although I dont know how as he still has good wage.
But his son is moving out and he was paying him £400.
So he is thinking of getting a lodger if I cant move in.
I think his daughter just wants it to be fair and I dont mind it, got used to her beeing like that. My daughter and her get on ok.
They both are looking forward and want us live together.

I can always rent another place, no problem. I decided to try and just want to start on the right foot and for money to be fair. I have never done it and have no idea what should I pay.
I dont intend to be on a mortgage deed for now. So my payments would be just rent.

Yes, girls get along. They both want live together.

My partner needs me to move in, as he needs extra money to cover his mortgage and expenses.

Doesn't that ring alarm bells for you, OP?

You're not going to be a lot better off - you will be paying almost as much for your bills as you do now and your food costs will rocket.

His daughter's a problem, he's skint, you have a teenage daughter yourself - can you really not see the potential for absolute disaster?

DO NOT do this.

If you were both renting then that is different but he can't expect you to pay towards his mortgage when you don't have any rights to the property. If you split up then you will have no entitlement to that money back whereas he will have your money paid into his property that he then gets to keep, and profit from if he then decides to sell. In effect he will be making money off you. If he can't afford a mortgage then he shouldn't have bought the house in the first place.

If your partner wants you to pay towards his mortgage then you need to get a legal agreement drawn up so that you can protect your contribution in case you split up and you can get it back.

If you pay towards someone's mortgage but don't intend to have any stake in the property then you are an idiot, sorry.

Ok, so I'd offer £500 for you and dd, plus a share of gas/elec/water/wifi (IF that is reasonable financially for you as his heating and water may be substantially higher depending on usage).

It more than replaces the £400 he's losing, as I doubt his son took on bills.

It is also proportional by income between you and him.