Page 3 | Moving in with partner- pay £400 rent? Is that ok?

Susan7654 · 2025-10-28T15:18:58+00:00

My partner and I are both single parents and have been together for five years. We’ve decided to move in together at his house. I’ve been renting until now. His daughter (19) works full-time and pays him £300 a month as she’s no longer in education. My daughter is 18 and still in college. He earns £52,000 a year ( mortgage around £1400pcm) and I earn £28,000. I’d like to contribute fairly to the household, but I’m not sure how much is reasonable. Of course, I’ll pay for food, bills, and my own expenses. I was thinking around £400 a month rent, plus half of the household bills, in addition to covering my food and personal costs. Does that sound fair, or should I contribute more (or less)? We didnt discussit yet. His daughter expects my daughter to pay too same amount, as she wants it to be fair. My daughter only works part time. In that case should I pay £600? I didnt discuss it with him yet as I dont know whats right and I tend to be overgenerous and than regret... We are engaged but not planning on marrying anytime soon. We first want to try it out, see how it goes.

Catsknowbest · 29/10/2025 08:07

Hairyfairy01 · 28/10/2025 19:25

Don’t do it! Wait until both girls have moved out then get somewhere together. It sounds like he is poor at managing his money, his daughter is already resentful and you are giving up everything at the risk of you having no home if he decides to kick you out.

Totally agree. 100%

ArseInTheCoOpWindow · 29/10/2025 08:07

Crikeyalmighty · 28/10/2025 16:03

I think £600 rent, half the bills, half the food and your daughter gives you £175 a month - this should leave you with around £850 a month

Her daughter is still in college. She shouldn’t pay anything.

rwalker · 29/10/2025 08:12

1/2 the bills as there’s 2 people in your family and 2 people in his
what his daughter pays is between them
£400 is cheap but if your all happy perhaps offer £500
security wise if it all goes tits up your out but tbh in a rented flat the LL could kick you out so your not really any worse off

I did pick up on you calling his daughter bratty I’d be concerned how that would pan out

arethereanyleftatall · 29/10/2025 08:17

In these situations you shouldn’t pay as much as a lodger, because you’re not one, you’re in a relationship.

I think:
half of all bills plus half of the interest part of the mortgage

paying off any of his mortgage isn’t right as you have zero rights to it.

interest on a mortgage is the same as rent

columnatedruinsdomino · 29/10/2025 08:21

What is his current mortgage payment? It sounds like three women will be paying £1k a month towards it plus bills and food. And dare I say, the bulk of the cooking and housework? Sounds like he's hit the jackpot!
With the right to evict whenever he feels like it and a house at the end of it. Make sure you are going into this with your eyes open.

jonnybriggswasgreat · 29/10/2025 08:24

Sounds like a recipe for disaster. Would you both be keen to do this - or even considering it in the first place - if the proposed scenario wasn’t financially advantageous for you both?

Who’ll be doing the housework?

It’s probably going to happen and I think £600 inclusive of bills for you and your daughter is fair.

No5ChalksRoad · 29/10/2025 08:33

I’d rethink the entire plan. Especially if his daughter is getting involved in these discussions.

Maintain a home where your daughter is unaffected by these other people.

No5ChalksRoad · 29/10/2025 08:35

Catsknowbest · 29/10/2025 08:04

Alarm bells here for me. Why on his income plus his daughters contribution would he be struggling without you moving in? Something isn't right. Even with his son moving out. And that just sounds like he only wants you to move in to cover his sons former contribution!!

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This. The whole scenario reeks of dysfunction, financial and otherwise. Don’t entangle yourself. Or your daughter.

CocoRats · 29/10/2025 08:43

Let him get a lodger. Stay as you are.
This has got disaster written all over it!

Original poster

Susan7654 · 29/10/2025 09:14

columnatedruinsdomino · 29/10/2025 08:21

What is his current mortgage payment? It sounds like three women will be paying £1k a month towards it plus bills and food. And dare I say, the bulk of the cooking and housework? Sounds like he's hit the jackpot!
With the right to evict whenever he feels like it and a house at the end of it. Make sure you are going into this with your eyes open.

I think his mortgage was £900 before but now after remortgage and repayment of goverment help to buy loan its £1400.
His daughter is paying £300 and thats for food etc- she doesnt contribute more than that.
I will be paying £500 or £600 for rent plus food and all other expenses.
I wonder if bills should be added to it too or should it be inclusive of £600 for me and my daughter?

OP posts:

Catsknowbest · 29/10/2025 09:30

Susan7654 · 29/10/2025 09:14

I think his mortgage was £900 before but now after remortgage and repayment of goverment help to buy loan its £1400.
His daughter is paying £300 and thats for food etc- she doesnt contribute more than that.
I will be paying £500 or £600 for rent plus food and all other expenses.
I wonder if bills should be added to it too or should it be inclusive of £600 for me and my daughter?

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You'll have absolutely no security- even less than in a private rental tenancy of your own- and its clear from what you've said about his increased mortgage and son leaving that this is a financial move on his part. I'd be so uncomfortable with this. Even if its dressed up as him wanting you all to be together I'm just so sceptical that that's the reason. If he really wants you to be together and share home/expenses it should be on a basis where you have some security if it goes wrong! Also be wary of becoming joint named on any utilities or bills. If he has any credit issues or does in the future it is going to affect you. If you do ever have to try and find another home that will be a big issue on you passing checks.

Catsknowbest · 29/10/2025 09:33

rwalker · 29/10/2025 08:12

1/2 the bills as there’s 2 people in your family and 2 people in his
what his daughter pays is between them
£400 is cheap but if your all happy perhaps offer £500
security wise if it all goes tits up your out but tbh in a rented flat the LL could kick you out so your not really any worse off

I did pick up on you calling his daughter bratty I’d be concerned how that would pan out

Could actually be a lot worse off if it does go wrong because OP won't have a reference from a recent tenancy, possibly won't have enough saved for a new deposit, and if OP becomes financially entangled and he isn't credit worthy it could impact her even getting another tenancy!

nomas · 29/10/2025 09:39

I definitely wouldn't pay £300 for your dd, she is studying.

£400 seems fair.

How much are his bills and council tax?

jonnybriggswasgreat · 29/10/2025 09:44

Catsknowbest · 29/10/2025 09:33

Could actually be a lot worse off if it does go wrong because OP won't have a reference from a recent tenancy, possibly won't have enough saved for a new deposit, and if OP becomes financially entangled and he isn't credit worthy it could impact her even getting another tenancy!

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But financially OP would be better off because she’d be able to save more than what she’s currently doing. But you’re right about the other potential adverse implications, it’s got disaster written all over it but the bottom line in my view is money. I think money is clouding OP’s judgement here.

StewkeyBlue · 29/10/2025 09:56

2 of you are moving in so I would say £600 wouldn’t be too much. That means that after his DD’s contribution he still has £500 to pay.

You will benefit from lower rent and also shared bills, so will be better off.

It’s your job to cover your DD’s costs as she is still in education. I think £400 for the two of you is too low.

Ohmygodthepain · 29/10/2025 10:02

Your DP earns twice as much as you but he's struggling to pay £500 a month more than your rent? AND he gets to own the home he's paying the mortgage for eventually?

Do you get any benefits op? Those will be lost if you move in together.

If he can't afford to pay his mortgage he needs to think about downsizing rather than relying on you to move in. If you fall out it'll be doubly hard to extricate yourself if there is a financial obligation.

His dd has too much knowledge of his financial situation. And needs to butt-out - what you agree is between the two of you and none of her business.

LolWhotzit · 29/10/2025 10:06

£600 plus bills sounds about right but why don’t you agree to look at it again in 6 months time and see how things are going. I think there is an awful lot of scope for it to go wrong. You already don’t like the daughter.

nomas · 29/10/2025 10:07

LolWhotzit · 29/10/2025 10:06

£600 plus bills sounds about right but why don’t you agree to look at it again in 6 months time and see how things are going. I think there is an awful lot of scope for it to go wrong. You already don’t like the daughter.

I don’t think OP should be paying half his mortgage.

theressomanytinafeysicouldbe · 29/10/2025 10:08

I would be taking the mortgage out of the equation. You will be helping him buy his house and you will not have any claim.

If you are moving in as a couple it should not be rent. You can charge the girls whatever board you want. Will you see a share of the board from both girls or will it all go to him, even though you will be buying their food and doing the daily responsibilities of that which falls to the parents. My DS gives me his board, my DSS gives his dad his.

You and him should be splitting the bills and daily living costs. You mention you will be buying your own food, that sounds a bit odd, will you not be eating together. I think you need to sit down with him and a spreadsheet and put everything down and lie the PP post work out the percentage, but again I would take the mortgage out of the equation, that's his

Tiredofwhataboutery · 29/10/2025 10:16

theressomanytinafeysicouldbe · 29/10/2025 10:08

I would be taking the mortgage out of the equation. You will be helping him buy his house and you will not have any claim.

If you are moving in as a couple it should not be rent. You can charge the girls whatever board you want. Will you see a share of the board from both girls or will it all go to him, even though you will be buying their food and doing the daily responsibilities of that which falls to the parents. My DS gives me his board, my DSS gives his dad his.

You and him should be splitting the bills and daily living costs. You mention you will be buying your own food, that sounds a bit odd, will you not be eating together. I think you need to sit down with him and a spreadsheet and put everything down and lie the PP post work out the percentage, but again I would take the mortgage out of the equation, that's his

I think whilst it’s fair enough to not pay towards the capital repayments of the mortgage, paying towards interest is fair enough. I’d view it as rent the bank charges.

OP I do think £600 inclusive of bills is fair. I would say if you want your daughter to start paying board in future . Then that should come to you and would be a contribution towards your half of food budgets.

femfemlicious · 29/10/2025 10:17

I think I you are paying £900 now for rent then £600 is too much . Offer the same as he was getting from his son £400 and half of bills and food. I'll bet his son wasn't paying for bills so he is still better off!. It has to be a big incentive for you to give up your own place. You can save more.are you going to be losing out on benefits moving in with him?

Larrylobstersrollerskate · 29/10/2025 10:17

Definitely don’t do it. If your DP is doing this for financial reasons and his DD is a bit of a pain, it sounds like a disaster waiting to happen. At the moment you are boss of your own home and a have a secure home for your DD, once you move in, you’ll have no say as it’s his home and you’ll technically just be a lodger as will your DD. It’ll change the dynamics of your relationship with that alone.

spoonbillstretford · 29/10/2025 10:20

Sounds about right to me OP, for general living expenses and covering costs while not making a profit out of you and recognising that you have no property interest in the house. My DM lived with us and paid £300 a month but there were economies of scale with more of us in the house.

I'd also try and save what you are not now spending on rent into a pension or ISA.

Viviennemary · 29/10/2025 10:20

Chocbuttonsandredwine · 28/10/2025 15:41

Don’t do it.

Sounds like chaos and when it all goes wrong, it will be your daughter (and probably you) that will be homeless.

do you rent currently?

I more or less agree with this. It sounds like there will be resentment on all sides. And what happens if you split up and its his house. Where will you go. But if you look on it as a temporary arrangement then I suppose that's OK.

NewGoldFox · 29/10/2025 10:25

Susan7654 · 28/10/2025 18:52

But i mean £600 as rent only. I pay for our food and anytning else

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If you are set on doing this, ring fence the £300 you would normally pay for rent and keep it in a savings account for yourself.