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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

WWYD more that AIBU? He slapped me

204 replies

changingsonooneknows · 28/10/2025 07:32

I was in bed with my husband and 4 year old son this morning. We were all talking and joking (so all awake). My husband closed his eyes for a second and I put my finger on his nostril (not inside), just as a joke for my son. He reacted really really angry screaming and then he slapped my shoulder (it hurt but didn’t leave a mark), and then stormed out swearing. I’m in shock, what should I do? I know I was annoying him but that seems extreme? He has been tired recently but we were all very awake in the bed…

OP posts:
bigboykitty · 30/10/2025 09:33

Viviennemary · 30/10/2025 07:48

You assaulted him. Why on earth did you even touch his nostril

Stop being ridiculous!

CrazyGoatLady · 30/10/2025 13:40

EasternEcho · 30/10/2025 08:49

I understood your response well. What I stated was that even though it might not be ok in your marriage, it is not your place, or ours to categorically state that OP must stop "silliness" in hers. That is not the issue at all. Subtly, that kind of response indicates that the touching is a cause for the hitting. If the husband does not like it, it is his place to tell her so. He never has in the past, and if things have changed, he should inform her. As for children taking the message that a husband and wife touching each other on the nose for fun is somehow a lesson in promoting violation of bodily autonomy, that is a bit far fetched.

Show quote history

The DH has indicated his dislike of it (although in an extremely inappropriate and disproportionate way). Therefore this surely means that it would be sensible to redraw the boundaries about touch and consent and when they both agree it is ok and when it's not (e.g. no "booping" if someone's eyes are shut or they might not know you are there).

Just to be clear, this is not about "avoiding being hit" AT ALL. It is simply about a sensible conversation between two adults to ensure that they are clearly communicating and respecting each other's boundaries.

MyAmusedOpalCrab · 30/10/2025 13:40

Please do better when you know the answer to this.

Jom222 · 30/10/2025 14:19

Viviennemary · 30/10/2025 07:48

You assaulted him. Why on earth did you even touch his nostril

10/10 for you being true to form and commenting with an intentionally wrong reading of the post to smack down a woman.

Well done sir, you never fail to make rude women-hating posts. You should find a place where your posting style is welcomed, maybe an incel chat board would be a better fit...

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