Is my husband and close family right about her?

[Dolphindances]

Bit of background - this friend and I are both late thirties, I got married last year (met by lots of comments about my engagement ring and new marital home being OTT by her which I let go - they are not BTW three bed and a classic round cut 2c diamond but an upgrade from my 1 bedroom flat 🤣). She has been in a LTR for about 10 years with a guy, she is keen to settle down and he moves to various countries for work which she follows. She is keen to get married and have 3 children. We have know each other since mid 20’s. Now we are 39.

After a few years of trying - 2 miscarriages this year and a referral for IVF I somehow by a miracle fell pregnant this summer. I am due in Spring time which correlates with a friends wedding in Italy which I likely will not be able to attend due to my gravid / potentially post partum state. Upon receipt of my pregnancy news the above friend, mentioned how my timing and planning was poor for the pregnancy due to the upcoming nuptials, rolling her eyes and even messaged to check if ‘I have told her yet’ several times, as the bride will be disappointed in me and she is keen for her reaction. I was so upset I messaged the bride to be and she is just delighted I am pregnant and happy for us to be in attendance at her local wedding instead in due course.

my husband and sisters want me to leave this friendship now. I have never actually seen my husband so angry and my sister looked like she was going to cry when I told her. My husband asked if she knew about the MCs and IVF referral for which I said yes.

Any advice on how to approach this? Am I feeling more upset by this with my pregnancy hormones?

It sounds to me as though she is turning her frustration at not having achieved the things she wants and you have achieved into denial - refusal to face the fact that her long term relationship is unlikely to lead to the marriage, home and children she wants - so she picks holes in your life.
At any rate, you can end the “friendship” for any reason you see fit and this one doesn’t seem to be bringing much that is positive to you.

Congratulations on the pregnancy and all the best for the birth and motherhood!

Cut her off. She’s going to get worse once you have your baby. And congratulations!

Your husband and sisters are absolutely right.

It sounds as though your friend is jealous, immature and mean.

She sounds insufferable.

Firstly, even if your house and engagement ring were incredibly OTT, it would none of her business. Frankly, if one of my mates met someone great, bought a lovely house and got a gorgeous engagement ring I'd be bloody delighted for her, OTT or not!

Her twattishness over your pregnancy was really, really unpleasant. Again, how the hell would a good friend not just be unequivocally thrilled about your news, especially given that you've had a difficult time with conceiving? It would be bad enough if she was moaning about you not going to her own destination wedding, but to moan about you not going to someone else's is even worse.

Insisting that you give her details of your hotel stays 'or it triggers her OCD' is just... well, I hardly know what to say about it. Just utterly bizarre, controlling and a bit creepy, and I find it very hard to believe it's anything to do with OCD.

Your husband and family are absolutely right, basically. Get rid of her. She's a pain in the arse and sounds very bitter.

Come on, OP. Why are you even asking? Cut her out. Your last line here alone should have been enough a long time ago.

Definitely with your DH on this one. He's probably angry not just about the wedding and callous indifference to your pregnancy, but also about the way she has treated you and ground you down over the years. What actual joy does she bring into your life?

I'd be letting her drift away down the river while you stand on the bridge, waving her off. It sounds like it's time.

Congratulations and best wishes for your pregnancy. x

She sounds like a shit friend but she's your shit friend.

So don't let your DH or your sisters tell you what to do.

Hopefully you'll come to the right decision all by yourself and have nothing more to do with her.

But it's your choice, not theirs.

I would use the time before you have your child to seek some therapy to improve your self esteem and your relationships OP.

I had a similar friend with the same traits and had to cut her off. She was making me ill. I strongly recommend you do the same - falling pregnant is so precious especially after such a hard journey, it’s not got anything to do with anyone else. Cut her off and enjoy your pregnancy. Congratulations 🩷

She is 100% jealous of you, your marriage, and your lifestyle. She also sounds like a complete cunt, sorry.

I would have ended this friendship a long time ago.

next time send her a pic of the most expensive hotel in the region you're in, maybe include a meme like this 😇

she's jealous, time to leave her in the past.

Pay close attention to those who don't clap when you win

When baby arrives her jealousy will go into overdrive. She could start criticising your parenting, and trying to destroy your confidence. Dump her now.

Does she have a spare key to your house by any chance?

She just wants to Google where you are staying and how much you paid to do so

Let the friendship go op. She’s not a genuine friend she’s very jealous and a true friend would be very happy with your news. Definitely let the friendship fade don’t Tell her nothing important hopefully she’ll get the message. Otherwise call her out on her nastiness she will definitely get the message.

Congratulations btw.

Your husband and sister are right.

Get rid. She’s bringing nothing but negativity into your life.

Do it now. Don’t wait until baby arrives and she starts saying nasty things about her/him and criticising your parenting. You have a good husband and family in your life. You don’t need her.

Congratulations on your pregnancy and hope all goes great x

She’s trying to rain on your parade.

Before you met, married and became pregnant, she was the one with the long term partner, and now you’ve ‘beaten’ her. Her long term relationship has going nowhere. She’s 39, and wants children, and probably realises that time is running out.

Yes, she’s jealous of you. If you feel charitable, have a talk to her and say how hurt you were by her comments about your pregnancy and the wedding. If you feel the friendship has run its. Purse, then let it fade away.

(and the hotel/ocd bizarre. Does she need to know the hotels of all her friends? Almost stalker-ish).

And congrats on your pregnancy.

I had a friend like this OP. It’s jealousy I’m afraid. You have what she would like and she’s struggling to come to terms with it. Nothing will make this better, it’s time to distance yourself

The fact you've taken the time & trouble to come here & ask the question tells you exactly what you need to know. Congratulations on your baby news!

You must walk away from this toxic relationship.
The fact you are asking for advice suggests that you have low self esteem and are not assertive enough.
You dont need her.

The green-eyed monster is strong in this one. She's as jealous as hell, and the only way she can cope with it is by making these nasty digs at you.

Listen to your DH and your family, and give her the push.