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Original poster

Cleaner invited friends over AIBU

1000 replies

Nestingbirds · 27/10/2025 06:43

We have an arrangement with our cleaner that she takes care of our animals when we are away for a few days. She usually stays in the annexe but this time stayed in our house due to refurbishment.

We had an agreement when this started that we would prefer she didn’t have visitors apart from her long term boyfriend. He is away atm. She was totally on board, and said she would feel the same if it was her house.

We pay her really really well, and leave her lots of treats including fresh flowers. She told me she likes the time she has to herself, and all is well.

Only our neighbour texted me to say there are people coming and going from our house and sent me her ring doorbell footage. Not only is she having friends over, she isn’t actually spending time with the animals or cleaning (we pay her separately for both) as the rest of the time she has been out. We never leave our dog all day. Whilst we obviously don’t mind her going out, and want her to be happy, I just feel taken for a ride as she is clearly not there doing either.

I have messaged her to see how she is, hoping she would be honest about her friend coming over and staying for hours in our house, but she has continued to lie to me.

I feel like I can’t trust her now. Wwyd?

OP posts:
Menocandoone · 27/10/2025 06:50

I’d sack her and find someone new. The having friends over isn’t too terrible, for me at least, but I would expect her to be honest about it. The not looking after the animals would be the deal breaker for me, she’d have to go. It’s shit for the animals and it’s shit for you, because you don’t enjoy your time away. Tell her how disappointed you are and get rid.

missmarplesapprentice · 27/10/2025 06:52

How long until you are home and would you have anyone else who could look after your dog for you if she just left? Otherwise I’d probably wait until you are home and have a conversation with her. Trust has been broken and I don’t think there’s any coming back from that, especially since she has continued to lie.

Original poster
Nestingbirds · 27/10/2025 06:57

It is the lying that has upset me. If she had asked me I probably wouldn’t have minded, if it really made a difference to her. It’s the lying and sending me photos of the animals when she isn’t even there.

It’s really damaged the confidence and trust I had in her. She could have easily mentioned it in her texts, and choose not to.

OP posts:
Original poster
Nestingbirds · 27/10/2025 06:58

We have no one else to look after our dog. We have other options for the other animals.

OP posts:
Original poster
Nestingbirds · 27/10/2025 06:59

We could maybe start taking our dog with us going forward.

OP posts:
Bikergran · 27/10/2025 07:00

Fire her. Wait until you are back, make sure there is nothing of hers in the house, ask her for the keys (personally I'd still change any lock she has had keys for, and beef up security generally, change any alarm codes etc) then ask her to leave immediately. Have your husband or someone else there to back you up. She didn't do what you paid her for, and has invited god knows who into YOUR house, how can she guarantee their honesty? Flagrant breach of trust.

vivainsomnia · 27/10/2025 07:00

The lying and clearly not doing the job properly she is well paid to do. She needs to be sacked and hopefully learn that you do often get caught when you take your emoyer for a full.

Linenpickle · 27/10/2025 07:00

You need a new cleaner as she’s taking the pis.

Littlepixie75 · 27/10/2025 07:01

Whoever can she be sending pics of the animals if she’s not there? But yes it sounds like she is taking the mickey. Have an hi eat chat with her whe you get back and find someone else for future pet sitting.

Original poster
Nestingbirds · 27/10/2025 07:04

The photos were taken in the evening, and then sent during the day when she is out.

OP posts:
Littlepixie75 · 27/10/2025 07:08

Nestingbirds · 27/10/2025 07:04

The photos were taken in the evening, and then sent during the day when she is out.

Ah I see. That is really sneaky! I would be annoyed and upset. Definitely not unreasonable to bring it up with her and see what she says. But I wouldn’t trust her looking after the animals in my house again. If she is a good cleaner then you could keep her on for that but you probably feel like you don’t really trust her any more generally…?

windintheoak · 27/10/2025 07:11

The people coming and going aren't meal delivery people?

The deal breaker for me would be her not being there for the animals.

morellamalessdrama · 27/10/2025 07:13

Perhaps try a house sitting service. Such a shame to be let down like that.

Original poster
Nestingbirds · 27/10/2025 07:17

If she can lie about this then maybe she can lie about other things.

There was something else a while ago. She said she didn’t have dc when she started, 6 months ago she told me she had 2 step daughters, she told me by accident. It felt like a weird omission.

OP posts:
Itsseweasy · 27/10/2025 07:18

Absolutely you can’t trust her again, and I would sit her down and be honest about why you won’t be using her any more, once you’re back home.
That is honestly so many people’s dream job (I can’t think of much better than being alone with animals all day, even with cleaning thrown in!) and there must be hundreds of people who’d love to do it and not take the piss.

strawberrymadam · 27/10/2025 07:24

How long until you’re back OP? Is she paid hourly or day rate, do you have a contract?

Weekendwatch · 27/10/2025 07:25

Nestingbirds · 27/10/2025 06:58

We have no one else to look after our dog. We have other options for the other animals.

Well you need to find someone

I would not be happy leaving my home let alone my animals in the care of an outright liar.

Original poster
Nestingbirds · 27/10/2025 07:26

strawberrymadam · 27/10/2025 07:24

How long until you’re back OP? Is she paid hourly or day rate, do you have a contract?

No contract, just a verbal agreement. We have decided to leave early and head home today.

OP posts:
Weekendwatch · 27/10/2025 07:26

Nestingbirds · 27/10/2025 07:17

If she can lie about this then maybe she can lie about other things.

There was something else a while ago. She said she didn’t have dc when she started, 6 months ago she told me she had 2 step daughters, she told me by accident. It felt like a weird omission.

That’s not weird
Maybe she has no relationship with them

if I had step daughters, and someone asked me if I had any children…. I’d say yes but sure as heck wouldn’t include any SC

SmoothCollie · 27/10/2025 07:27

Is your dog reactive or something that you can't can't use a home from home boarder? I'm sure you could find another live in sitter who wouldn't take the piss.

Original poster
Nestingbirds · 27/10/2025 07:28

My dog is very scared of other dogs, so we have to do this. She has had so much training and she shakes near other dogs.

OP posts:
Weekendwatch · 27/10/2025 07:30

Nestingbirds · 27/10/2025 07:28

My dog is very scared of other dogs, so we have to do this. She has had so much training and she shakes near other dogs.

Edited

So you need to find a house sitter OP who can care for dogs

It is that simple

Original poster
Nestingbirds · 27/10/2025 07:31

Weekendwatch · 27/10/2025 07:26

That’s not weird
Maybe she has no relationship with them

if I had step daughters, and someone asked me if I had any children…. I’d say yes but sure as heck wouldn’t include any SC

Show quote history

She told me she does see them now, but they haven’t for 7 years as her dp left them for her when they were little. Maybe she thought I would judge her (not my place to) over the years she has told me every other detail but this one.

OP posts:
saraclara · 27/10/2025 07:31

Nestingbirds · 27/10/2025 07:17

If she can lie about this then maybe she can lie about other things.

There was something else a while ago. She said she didn’t have dc when she started, 6 months ago she told me she had 2 step daughters, she told me by accident. It felt like a weird omission.

I don't think that's weird at all. I'd give the same answer as her if I didn't have children of my own. She may only see the step children every other weekend.

orangewasp · 27/10/2025 07:32

I'd sack her when you get back. A cleaner has to be trustworthy and honest.
Look/advertise for someone else. This is the sort if thing I'm considering doing in early retirement - not full time but occasionally to boost the coffers.

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