Cleaner invited friends over AIBU

[Nestingbirds]

We have an arrangement with our cleaner that she takes care of our animals when we are away for a few days. She usually stays in the annexe but this time stayed in our house due to refurbishment.

We had an agreement when this started that we would prefer she didn’t have visitors apart from her long term boyfriend. He is away atm. She was totally on board, and said she would feel the same if it was her house.

We pay her really really well, and leave her lots of treats including fresh flowers. She told me she likes the time she has to herself, and all is well.

Only our neighbour texted me to say there are people coming and going from our house and sent me her ring doorbell footage. Not only is she having friends over, she isn’t actually spending time with the animals or cleaning (we pay her separately for both) as the rest of the time she has been out. We never leave our dog all day. Whilst we obviously don’t mind her going out, and want her to be happy, I just feel taken for a ride as she is clearly not there doing either.

I have messaged her to see how she is, hoping she would be honest about her friend coming over and staying for hours in our house, but she has continued to lie to me.

I feel like I can’t trust her now. Wwyd?

Bloody hell, people, how hard is it to read OP's updates? It's not like you have to read the whole thread, but it's pointless posting without reading the pigging updates. Don't care if I get called thread police for saying that, it's irritating seeing reply after reply from pps who have very clearly only read OP's first posts/first few posts. It's a waste of your own time as well as other people's.

Glad doggie is ok!

This particular poster was being unusually and deeply unpleasant to say the least.

It’s DONE!! RTT!!

I just wanted to say that I'm so glad the dog is ok and that you have a new cleaner arranged OP. It should be so much better this time now you have an agency behind you to manage any difficulties for you and prevent anything getting too personal where someone can take advantage again.

You mustn't feel bad, I can see how it would be almost impossible not to get close to a certain kind of person who wants that kind of personal over-stepping relationship in to take advantage without an agency/company as a buffer. Certain PP are just victim blaming, ignore them.

I wanted to say Op that you seem a lovely person and I’m sorry this all happened to you. You have seen the best in your cleaner, and even though it didn’t end well in this instance I don’t think it’s a bad trait to have.

No, I'm saying that you are reading a thread that is causing you frustration and upset because you believe the OP is be ludicrous and hysterical. I personally don't think there will be hidden cameras but honestly, I have personally seen it happen. The whole incident has really effected the OP. I would be in a rage about the pets being neglected to the point that the dog is now incontinent.The wine, I would be annoyed at that too, if i had splashed out on one for a special occasion what was wrong with her sending a message asking? It seems that not everyone cares about things being stolen from them, however, I would start to wonder what else she took a fancy to that might have gone walkabouts. If theft, neglect and ignoring specific instructions doesn't bother you, that's fine, but your response seemed designed to belittle her and cause her more upset. I can't see why someone would do that.

You say there was "people " coming and going from your house but then you rang her hoping she would be honest about having her friend over for hours. So was there one friend or several people?

I’d be sending the list of extra costs to the cleaner and asking her to reimburse you!!!

Do you pay your neighbours to spy?
Oh the privilege. Such problems! 😝

If you actually bothered to Read The Full Thread, or at least all of the OP's replies on this thread, @Drew79 , you'd see the neighbour became concerned after hearing the dog crying.

Nobody is going to sit and read 900+ posts!

You only have to read the first post to establish the sequence of events.

Only our neighbour texted me to say there are people coming and going from our house and sent me her ring doorbell footage.

It is quite irritating when people arrive on a thread late, don't bother to read the OP's successive posts, and post advice for what to do, long after it's been done and reported on the thread by the OP.

Or, as in this case, post petty snarky things like:

Do you pay your neighbours to spy?
Oh the privilege. Such problems! 😝

Thank you for all ov your posts! I didn’t expect so many.

I am pleased to report the dog is fine, the agency did a very good job (they all start off well though!) our cleaning lady hasn’t been in touch at all. The ring door bell is fitted, and a revelation! We managed not to miss a parcel being delivered, and it’s very handy to check who is at the front door when out.

Thanks again

Lol you don't have to. Just click "See all" next to the OP's first post and it will list ONLY the OP's replies. This function has existed on Mumsnet for years!

https://www.mumsnet.com/talk/am_i_being_unreasonable/5434020-cleaner-invited-friends-over-aibu?postsby=Nestingbirds

Would you not be concerned if you knew your neighbours were away, but could hear their dog crying?

If the neighbour hadn’t of told her she wouldn’t have known..maybe keep your sarky comments to yourself!

So in other words the neighbours should have IGNORED an animal being neglected and abused and in pain.

Listen to yourself!

I was responding to Drew79

How was I being snarky? It was a genuine question about what you would do in the same circumstances.

If my neighbour's dog was crying and it was not normal for that dog, I would be wondering why and I would be checking to see if my neighbours were OK.

Do you pay your neighbours to spy.oh the privilege such problems.sounds v sarky that’s all

I think you tagged the wrong person, it was @Drew79 who asked if her neighbours were paid to spy

thank you yes I think I did,sorry x

I am a cleaner and have stayed in people's houses to look after animals and have always tried to have the house looking perfect for when they came home and never left the animals unless I was doing my other jobs and never for longer than 4 hours.
If your being paid to do a job you do your job.

She proved to you that she can't be trusted, so why would you have her in your home especially with your pets.

OP, you need to get home and sort this, even if it means cutting your holiday short. Sack her, then change the locks, maybe get a ring doorbell 😧