Cleaner invited friends over AIBU

[Nestingbirds]

We have an arrangement with our cleaner that she takes care of our animals when we are away for a few days. She usually stays in the annexe but this time stayed in our house due to refurbishment.

We had an agreement when this started that we would prefer she didn’t have visitors apart from her long term boyfriend. He is away atm. She was totally on board, and said she would feel the same if it was her house.

We pay her really really well, and leave her lots of treats including fresh flowers. She told me she likes the time she has to herself, and all is well.

Only our neighbour texted me to say there are people coming and going from our house and sent me her ring doorbell footage. Not only is she having friends over, she isn’t actually spending time with the animals or cleaning (we pay her separately for both) as the rest of the time she has been out. We never leave our dog all day. Whilst we obviously don’t mind her going out, and want her to be happy, I just feel taken for a ride as she is clearly not there doing either.

I have messaged her to see how she is, hoping she would be honest about her friend coming over and staying for hours in our house, but she has continued to lie to me.

I feel like I can’t trust her now. Wwyd?

It's clear from this thread and one from the other day that some posters don't have a clue how Ring doorbells work.

All those daft questions in your previous posts and this is your conclusion!🤣

Its perfectly normal that a camera might cover both doors and front gardens if they are close together, and it’s perfectly normal that the neighbour might look at footage if they heard the dog sounding upset and saw lots of people coming and going!

OP couldn’t the neighbour care for the dog when you’re away?

I wouldn't put up with that no matter how nice my neighbour was, [mine is nosy enough😆] but in OP's case it was a good thing.
Cleaner sacked, locks changed pdq. I don't think I'd leave the house unattended until locks were changed either, god knows how many of your keys are out there in the world.

My neighbour works long hours. Otherwise she might consider it.

But you’re only there for a weekend, she’s not been in at all but she’s also had visitors over for hours?
Something doesn’t add up!

I am wondering if we have just been too trusting from the beginning. I thought she would respect our agreement and house/dog.

We have had a long weekend away. She has had friends over and the rest of the time appears to be out. It is really that simple.

So what if she did?

I have step children and say No if asked if I have DC. She doesn’t have to be open about her personal life, but if the neighbour is right, she’s behaving very badly. But do check your facts before confronting her because the neighbour
may have got the wrong impression from just occasionally looking at the ring footage.

What time did she leave and get back?

I’d sack the cleaner and just have your house less than pristine. My DB’s cleaner stole cash from him when he was in hospital and then did a runner. I would never trust someone unsupervised in my house for this reason. A bit of dust won’t hurt you.

You have paid this woman a lot, made things comfortable and lovely for her. And she has taken the piss. Leaving the dog to cry is fucking disgusting. She’s getting paid to do nothing. She should be paying you if she’s using your house for entertaining - Airbnb rates perhaps.

The two biggest ssues that have been pointed out on this thread you need to tackle are:

• the high level of people coming and going in and out of your house while the cleaner was gone for hours with her friend

• the unsettling realisation that your neighbor has such detailed footage of your home. So much so you know the cleaner isn't cleaning or spending time with all the animals for the hours her friend is there.

Before you tackle it with the clearer make sure you've got the number of hours she was in the house and out the house for correct. Otherwise it'll seen an unrealistic accusation.

As she is a cleaner then surely she'd be out working during the day anyway? What about her other clients?

Read the thread!

Yes it looks that way. That she has used the time as a weekend away rather than a job. I obviously want her to relax and enjoy it, but we don’t like strangers in our house.

The way she showed the friend our house looked like it was her house. I can’t really explain it. It was deeply uncomfortable to watch. I noticed she does this with shopping deliveries and works people, she pretends to be me.

I think you are jumping the gun a bit based on nosey neighbour's messages. Going in and out doesn't mean she's spending no time with the dog. Also having a friend over surely means she's at home with the dog?
If the house is immaculate when you get home then she has cleaned - she can't spend all day cleaning up imaginary mess (you aren't there to make a mess).
She may feel she had nothing to confess to when you rang, and that she and the pets were indeed fine.
I'd be really cross with the neighbour for ringing me with this tittle tattle, in the middle if my holiday.
An all night anti social party, and howling dog, would be different.

We have an agreement that she won’t bring strangers into our home. It’s always been a condition of any arrangement, and she understood and agreed.

She probably does that with delivery people as it's easier than explaining she's house-sitting etc.

That's not a lie, she doesn't have children. Her husband does. If your husband has a spot on his nose does it mean you do as well

She does it when I am at home too.

😆

quite the drip

It’s not a deal breaker for me. I have overlooked lots of things over the years because I thought she was a reliable and decent person.

So delivery person says "Mrs Nestingbirds?" and she says yes and takes the parcel ? Or is there more to it than that?

OP your trust has been broken. That means you need to end the professional relationship. I would do the same as you. Have you told her you’re coming home early?

Ignore the batshit conspiracy theorists on the thread.

The step kids thing isn’t weird. She’s not their mother (unless they don’t have a mum and she is their full time mother figure).

Bottom line is you can't trust her so it’s time to change your cleaner/animal carer.