To feel like a very inadequate mother after reading this?

[Rainallnight]

I’ve just finished reading a novel (In Memoriam, by Alice Winn) and she says this about her mother in the acknowledgements.

I don’t know why it’s affected me so much but it’s making me feel like I’m not trying hard enough.

But then DD and DS have additional needs and it’s quite tricky sometimes to get the basics done.

It’ll probably take a while for the image to load.

I just googled her (nosey) and can't believe how identical she looks to her husband. It's so weird. I now want to start a thread about couples who look similar...

if you read some comments on some very popular parenting groups on FB or elsewhere

so what's the point?
is being asked about EVERYTHING - what's the point of my kids having to learn foreign languages/ English!/ History/ Litterature/ Maths/ Algebra/ Geography...

People are not joking, it's depressing

Alice Wynn and Chris Turner? I wonder what picture you saw because they look NOTHING alike, apart from both being white

Oh, maybe not in real life then!
https://share.google/images/YAL4zILRoenBx2cL6

Oh this is so sad to read. Fair enough not enjoying Greek mythology, but to view it as pretentious nonsense. What do you read then if I may ask? Or do you not read?
I don’t much enjoy Shakespeare, but I just don’t go to see his plays, though I have actually taken my kids to them to give them a chance to like them and also because it’s useful to have a certain knowledge about Shakespeare even if it’s very high level.

I could probably teach my DD a lot of stuff. I'm even a trained teacher with 15 years of experience.

Does she WANT me to teach her stuff?

Nooo.

This sounds like a most unusual relationship.

Oh that's a shame.

My children and I love learning about new things together.

I'm going to a lecture this week with my teenage son about a topic he's interested in, he's thrilled I got us tickets.

We are always sharing book suggestions or discussing things they are interested in that came up at school or we read about.

And that doesnt mean we are constantly earnest and academic, we also enjoy sports together, like travelling together and enjoy playing silly games or watching trashy TV together.

I used to do all sorts of big adventures with my parents but I also love that they introduced me to all manner of great novels, and history books, and that they would discuss new scientific developments or politics etc at the dinner table as well. Along with plenty of far more trivial conversations too of course. But they taught me to be deeply interested in the world and I am grateful to them for that.

It depends if you try to play teacher, or you are just a parent and have discussions and bring her to various places. She's learn naturally.

Exactly, it's not about standing there with a whiteboard, it's just about having an interest and enthusiasm for things and sharing that with your children. And vice versa, engaging with their enthusiasms too.

Oh she learns. And I've learned from her.

We've just got very little in common in terms of interests.

The author described and her mum must have had very compatible personalities.

Lol I see what you mean. But he does not really look like that. Very odd pic!

Thank you so much for all the thoughtful replies. I really appreciate them. And yes, I probably do have some reflection to do on why it’s bothering me so much. I have some theories, which I’ll share if I’m feeling brave.

Greek mythology is awesome, hope that helps!

My mother knew nothing about Greek mythology and I wouldn’t have been interested anyway. I have known some truly inadequate parents. Don’t worry OP.

Blimey I was a child in the 1960’s and we were sent out of the door to play every day, I can’t remember my mum ever reading with me.
Perhaps she was teaching us resilience and how to think for ourselves?

Childhood can contain a whole variety of activities you know. Reading and learning doesn't have to be at the exclusion of all sorts of other activities. I used to go off with my friends for hours playing in the countryside (or sledging if it snowed) then read when I got home/at night.

And introducing a child to books doesn't mean reading them aloud for hours every evening. My parents just had bookshelves all over the house stuffed with thousands of good books (novels, history books, science books) and if I asked for a recommendation they would happily find me a pile. And if I wanted to talk about what I had read then they were happy to chat. If you don't /can't have lots of books at home then regular trips to the library (or if they are older - library card and a bus fare) will give the same opportunities.

When our kids were little we visited my sister with similar-age children whom we saw a couple of times a year. They were both learning (age-appropriately) things we hadn't got round to introducing. I remember writing:

I was all OMG we are failing our children mode but then [niece] pushed [nephew] and burst into tears, and I felt a lot better!

(oh, and Greek mythology pisses me off, with its continual "and twenty years passed then he went somewhere else")

It's easy to engage with kids when there's no video games or social media to distract them 😆

I agree. It brought tears to my eyes ❤️

I wouldn't be surprised if there are women who post on the "We took you to stately homes " board whose mothers also did the things Alice Winn describes.
Thank you @PullTheBricksDown . That line is beautiful.

My grandfather taught me all that. He was in his 80s, he had time...most parents can't pass on all that much, they are working.

This is just normal (pretentious) fluff. It sounds better than "my mother taught me to wipe my own bum".

If you take away the flowery prose, she's just saying her mum read to her and let her read her books. Something I'm pretty sure most of us do. Don't stress about it not being classical literature -- it's importance is overrated! And I say this as someone who studied classic literature! If your kid's interests tend that way, they will get a library card and read those books anyway. Really no big deal.

Nah she sounds posh and pretentious with jet setting parents and educated at top boarding schools and Oxford. I think if you create a normal loving environment that’s way better.

DD says that I introduced her to invaluable phrases such as "the dirty ballix", "inhospitable shower of b@stards" and "you're as lazy as shuck water" and that's enough for her.

I hope she never gets published.