I got laughed at in the gym and now I never want to go back

[CinnamonCrunch33]

I am obese. I always have been and potentially always will be. Over the last year or so I’ve lost a lot of weight and finally found some confidence to workout and join a gym.

I’ve always had complicated feelings around working out. I was ridiculed a lot during PE at school, the boys would make horrible snarky remarks and the girls would laugh at me in the changing rooms. I used to get changed in the showers which had curtains between them (like a shower curtain) and the popular girls would press the buttons to turn the shower on so that I would have to come out half dressed, and they’d laugh at me and make cruel comments about my body.

One thing that sticks out to me is I was really unfit at 14/15, but did the cross country anyway. My mum made me go in to do it because she didn’t agree with me skipping it. It was a mix of (slow) jogging and walking for me, but I did it. I remember saying to a friend that I was proud of myself for doing my best. The most popular boy in our year overheard and started mocking me, he made cruel comments about how I’d walked part of the course and how I may as well have not shown up. I didn’t run then for 10 years.

PE teachers used to make remarks about how I wasn’t trying and didn’t put any effort in, how I’d be better off not trying or coming in. As soon as I could stop PE lessons I did.

I was using the squat machine tonight and a couple of younger girls (I’d guess late teens) were watching me and quite loudly laughed and made a comment about how they wouldn’t even bother if they were me, and that they wouldn’t be out in leggings. They kept staring and laughing at me as I moved round my workout and I ended up leaving early to just go home because I couldn’t stand it.

I know I’m mostly being silly but it’s brought back all of those feelings of shame I had from my childhood and I just want to stop working out entirely. It’s made me feel like I don’t belong there, and like I’m being silly to have tried it.

I am sorry you felt like that. I would look for a more supportive gym. I admire you for going there - you have to start somewhere and maybe one day these girls will also find themselves being laughed at and see it from the other side.

I am so sorry you had to be subjected to that. Please don’t give up.

It's always best to challenge this type of behaviour, well done for getting out there. Report it to the staff.

Please go back don’t let them win. I know it’s easy for me to say this . I would have reported them to the manager at the gym. Next time you see them call them up on their behaviour.

I would report them to the gym and see how the gym respond. They might (hopefully) back you up and ask the pathetic little shits to leave

They are wankers, OP.
I cannot tell you how much I admire you for going to a gym.
I find them so oppressive. All the showing off.
Those girls are nasty and stupid. Do not give them the satisfaction of ‘winning’ and driving you out.
Keep going, more power to you.

Report them. They sound utterly awful.

I’d second this. Please don’t give up as you’ve taken a massive step forward in going in the first place.Good luck.

Sorry that happened, OP.
the staff should be supportive of you - did you mention it to them?

I hope you find a more inclusive and supportive gym

I’m really sorry you’ve had that experience OP.

I’ve spent a lot of time in a lot of different gyms over the years and my advice would be to maybe try looking for a smaller, more personal gym. Maybe it is just coincidence but I’ve always found you see more of this kind of behaviour in the big commercial gyms, the PureGym/GymGroup’s etc where lots of young people, especially girls, join and basically go to gossip and take photos more than anything else- those people are the ones who I find can be really judgemental and nasty.

Smaller local gyms, even bodybuilding or Crossfit style gyms, while they may look more intimidating are usually in my experience much nicer & better environments to train in. They tend to have much more of a community feel, everyone is there to better themselves, everyone chats and is more than happy to help with advice/spotting/form etc.

I’m so sorry they treated you so badly. Please don’t give up. You have every right to be there - it’s those girls who should be embarassed to go back.

Please report those vile creatures. You are amazing for going to the gym. Do not let them put you off. I hope the gym staff take action and are sympathetic towards you.

YANBU to find their behaviour rude and disrespectful. YABU not to go back though, you’ve made the effort to get started, don’t let them win. I’d report the obnoxious behaviour and if nothing happens go to head office.

Those comments ought to have been reported to the gym staff. Stand up for yourself. You have EVERY right to be there.

Fuck those spiteful girls. You're doing fantastic, keep it up x

Thats horrible. What kind of gym is this and can you find another more supportive one? The one I go to have a very adult feel to it. I don’t think I have ever seen teens. All shapes and sizes and everyone is just busy doing their own thing. Keep going OP!!

I'm obese and a former competitive athlete in an endurance sport, and I work out in the gym ad I wear leggings.

Kids are fucking idiots, and you do not need to pay any attention to them. It takes SO much more for obese people to work out than most people will ever know.

The courage to get in the gym knowing that some assholes will be judging you for the way you look. The strength you need to do workouts, because squatting a 20kgs bar isn't the same as someone of a normal weight squatting a 20kgs bar - our bodies are carrying a fuck ton more weight. The habits we're trying to re-make. We get tired faster, we're carrying more weight (mental and emotional) so everything is more difficult, and on top of it all, the gym is the ONE PLACE people should see your strength above every-fucking-thing else.

OP, don't you DARE let these shitty brats get to you. They just don't know what they don't know. Gyms are inclusive spaces for every body, and you deserve to be there as much as anyone else. I see your strength and bravery, and it is more than enough to tough out comments from immature twits who haven't had enough life experience to know better. (They're also clearly extremely insecure in their own bodies and not putting enough effort into their own workouts if they have time to be watching and judging other people.)

Keep going to the gym. For every negative comment, I promise you there are other people there thinking positive things about you and your courage and commitment to being in the gym and working to improve your health and fitness and whatever else. You are more than enough. You have got this.

It’s a Puregym. I’ll report it tomorrow, I guess they’ll maybe be able to look at the CCTV? It’s just brought back so many horrible memories

Oh, OP, I’m sorry this happened to you. The shame here lies all with these girls, not with you. Horrible little shits. Please don’t let them put you off.

Next time, call them out on it, or tell the gym manager. They should come down on such behaviour like a ton of bricks.

plenty of gyms are supportive, where everyone does their own thing and pays no attention to anyone else. I suggest finding one. You have done so well with losing weight so far. Keep it up!

I can't tell you how angry your post made me.

I can't stand bullies.

And I admire you so much for persevering and going along to the gym.

They are sad, inadequate people who feel the need to mock other people to compensate for their own inadequacies.
Don't led these worthless people put you off.

And yes you should report them to the gym because you have the right to go about your exercise regime there without being mocked by idiots.

Congratulations on losing a lot of weight, but don’t let other idiots put you off the gym, they’re arseholes, at least you can lose more weight they’ll always be ugly inside!
I am overweight too, I am back to swimming and I always feel so much better about myself when I go, o couldn’t care what people think of my body, to top it off I have psoriasis too, so I look very bizarre with my red scaled patches, people can sod off if they have anything to say. To be honest I’m now 53 and I’d give people a piece of my mind if they dare say anything to me! Perhaps next time you can tell them that there’s a CCTV camera on them and you’ll be asking the manager to ban them 😉

I go to a PureGym too. I’ve always found it good and members supportive. But all you need to change this is a couple of shitty members, isn’t it?

Im so sorry this happened. The girls are the ones who shouldn’t be in the gym.

a similar thing happened at our one, they were prepared to ban the people who said similar. Have you told the gym? Dont let them stop you.

Sorry this happened.

I voted YABU as in your are being unreasonable not to go back to the gym.
I'm fat and its happened to me
Now i am angry I spent decades not going to gyms because of worrying about other people/idiots opinions.
Dont waste your life....

They are teenage dickheads who know f all
... and statistically 1 of them will become obese in the next 20 years or so.

Go for you and go for your health and fuck them.

Look up some larger fitness influences on insta and take some music next time.

They are sad little arseholes that know fuck all about the world.

Please report to the staff of the gym. A good gym does not want this culture in their gym.

I have been in your shoes with being overweight and attending a gym and it is so so hard.

In my experience the best gym culture can be found at local, independent gyms, normally frequented by body builders. They will help you out so much and just want to see you improve. Always happy to spot you if required. See if you have any of them locally and you wont regret it.