I got laughed at in the gym and now I never want to go back

[CinnamonCrunch33]

I am obese. I always have been and potentially always will be. Over the last year or so I’ve lost a lot of weight and finally found some confidence to workout and join a gym.

I’ve always had complicated feelings around working out. I was ridiculed a lot during PE at school, the boys would make horrible snarky remarks and the girls would laugh at me in the changing rooms. I used to get changed in the showers which had curtains between them (like a shower curtain) and the popular girls would press the buttons to turn the shower on so that I would have to come out half dressed, and they’d laugh at me and make cruel comments about my body.

One thing that sticks out to me is I was really unfit at 14/15, but did the cross country anyway. My mum made me go in to do it because she didn’t agree with me skipping it. It was a mix of (slow) jogging and walking for me, but I did it. I remember saying to a friend that I was proud of myself for doing my best. The most popular boy in our year overheard and started mocking me, he made cruel comments about how I’d walked part of the course and how I may as well have not shown up. I didn’t run then for 10 years.

PE teachers used to make remarks about how I wasn’t trying and didn’t put any effort in, how I’d be better off not trying or coming in. As soon as I could stop PE lessons I did.

I was using the squat machine tonight and a couple of younger girls (I’d guess late teens) were watching me and quite loudly laughed and made a comment about how they wouldn’t even bother if they were me, and that they wouldn’t be out in leggings. They kept staring and laughing at me as I moved round my workout and I ended up leaving early to just go home because I couldn’t stand it.

I know I’m mostly being silly but it’s brought back all of those feelings of shame I had from my childhood and I just want to stop working out entirely. It’s made me feel like I don’t belong there, and like I’m being silly to have tried it.

You’re allowed to be big.
You’re allowed to pursue good health and not be abused for it.
You don’t pay the gym to get abused.

They’re the one that needn’t bother coming.
Speak to the gym staff. Get them barred immediately.

I really feel for you and hope you can see it is their issue not yours. You can lose weight, they can’t easily lose their ugly internal personality which will shine through their exterior. I get it. I was bullied at school and now have a disability. I use gym equipment in different ways as directed by physios. The beefcakes often snigger and ask how long I am going to be. Makes me stay longer. Keep going. You have hundreds of us behind you tonight.

Don’t give up.

Fuck them.

You have every right to be at the gym or anywhere.

Head up. Chest out. You keep on going and all power to you.

Oh please report - if you were made to feel uncomfortable, then the gym should take action.

But am thinking would it help your confidence to have a Personal Trainer in the gym? Then you would have someone with you, at least some of the time and if there were issues later, you would have support.

I’m so sorry this happened to you, gyms are for everyone and on the whole, most gym goers are lovely people. Unfortunately the few nasty ones ruin it for everyone else. Definitely report them, and I’m not sure if it would help you but I wear headphones and listen to my own music. It means I can simply tune everything else out, focus on myself and not hear anyone laughing, so I don’t need to worry if they’re laughing at me (I’m also overweight and unfit).

If you’re on Facebook look up Joey Swoll, he’s a brilliant, he calls people out on his page for bullying in gyms. He’s gotten countless people banned from gyms around the world for filming other people and making fun of them etc. I suggest looking him up because maybe just watching his videos might help to make you feel better about going, he’s so positive and passionate about gyms being accessible to everyone.

Agree with this 👆 Next time they do it, go straight to staff and report them. They'll get a warning then kicked out. Don't give up, keep going 💪

I hate gyms. I tried, all the trainers told me I am the best looking woman because at size 14 I got tits and bum. No one laughed at me though I know, I huffed and puffed.

Take it on a lighten note and go back

Please don't let this put you off. You have achieved so much and should be incredibly proud of your weight loss and focus on getting fit. This is more than many of us manage to do so hard off to you. Well done!
Definitely report this and back it up in writing (it'll help you to articulate how you feel). You don't need to write details but say you're disappointed that the gym's ethos risks being damaged by unacceptable behaviour that targets others.
I'd also really rehearse what you will say if you see them again. Don't try to appeal to them, just be direct and say something like "I've noticed this isn't the first time you've made offensive and personal remarks about me. To be clear, I've reported it already and I will do again." Then go and find a member of staff. Stay calm. It's not about you, you're bloody awesome, it's about a pair of entitled idiots being unkind because they can, and they need to be called out on it.

You should complain about them. It's bad for business if the gym allows clients to ridicule and body shame eachother.

Well done for your health journey. Keep on moving in the right direction and there's every chance that you won't only no longer be obese, but you can be a healthy weight.

I hope those two horrible girls get banned.

So sorry you had to put up with that. If there's a next time say at least I can lose my weight, your kind of ugly is to the bone so you're ugly forever. Don't let little twats like that ruin your journey

I’m sorry that happened to you. If it’s any comfort, when I was younger and slimmer and I’m pretty sure presentable in a swimsuit, I had teens in a jacuzzi at the top end of a pool at a David Lloyd mock and laugh at me every length I did in a snidey, not quite enough to report manner. It feels horrible. These teens probably also sniggered at the person in the out of style gym wear; they will be thirty odd now and hopefully probably faced body image issues if their own. I’d say pay your teens no heed but that is easy to say and it is so upsetting.

Please, please go back to the gym tomorrow and take us with you (in your head!). We're at your back, so report them, then get back to the Smith machine and squat yo your heart's content!

I think this is it. Even though I logically know it means nothing and they’re just insecure little girls themselves, it really does hurt

@CinnamonCrunch33 I hate gyms, try out Joey Atlas, he is brilliant and has loads of free videos on his you tube channel. https://www.youtube.com/@JoeyTheTruthAtlas

Specialises in women's fitness

Their rude comments are a reflection on themselves and not you. They are likely very insecure women, who make themselves feel better by making mean comments about other people.

From this stranger on the internet - I am proud of you and I believe in you. Don’t allow them to make you feel small. Go back to the gym with your head held high and go smash it 💪🏼

Report them. My gym would ban anyone for behaving like that.

Its them, not you, so don't let them put you off.

Everytime I see an overweight person in the gym, and I was the overweight person in the gym for a long time, all I think is 'fair play to her, keep going'. So sorry you have been subjected to this, please keep trying your best.

You should have reported them. There's still time.

Maybe classes would be better for you. They're usually always supportive environments. Independents are a good bet.

These early workouts are so hard. You are having to work both physically and mentally to overcome years of not having exercised, and the reasons behind that. You are proud of having lost weight, and proud of how far you've come. And rightly so. Remember that.

Any slip of a teenager can look good posing in leggings at the gym. Do not let these horrible kids get in the way of achieving your goals. Keep at it.

Talk to management, get it all documented.

Teen girls can be vile. I would just ignore. Life will deal with them. Honestly, it can be upsetting but don’t let such things to compromise your efforts. You were doing great! ❤️

i work in a school. Teens laugh at anything they want. I was wearing studded ballet pumps today and these 2 year 11s looked at my feet and laughed, then said ‘ what the hell are those?’ I reminded them they were wearing frumpy uniform and to keep their bitchy comments to themselves. Don’t even let them bother you, they are nothing to you. Rise above them and you will have the last laugh.

Oh, poor you, what a horrible thing and what a pair of nasty women. You got good advice here, dont let this stop you from doing what is right for you. The best revenge on people like this is not to let it affect you at all.

I hate this happened to you, please go back, tomorrow ask to speak to the manager or email them and forward or show them this thread if it's easier than explaining verbally. I know I can get a bit wobbly with such things but DO let them know so they can kick the ignorant little shits out, as they deserve! That's what gyms are for, to get fit, they had no right to make you feel bad and a decent gym will want to know of such behaviour.

A tip for you, often the most ripped and hardcore lifters are the kindest and most helpful folks in the gym as they take their fitness very seriously, don't be afraid to ask them questions on technique if the opportunity presents itself, they're often only too happy to help others in between sets.

Please report back!

People mocking overweight people in a gym is like making fun of a homeless person for going to a job fair. I am fat, but I also don't want to spend my old age in a chair like my parents. I go to the gym to get stronger. I wear earbuds and listen to my favorite podcasts so if anyone is talking shit about me I dont know. I encourage you to go right back to the squat machine ASAP and shake off that PTSD. If you see those nasty teens call them out.

I know it’s so easy to say, but try and look at this rationally.

They are being spiteful bitches about someone making an effort and doing their best in a gym. That means that they are arseholes. Now that might be because of their age, or their own insecurities (let’s redirect attention and laugh at a complete stranger so nobody notices my lumps and bumps etc) or it might just be because they are genuinely nasty little fuckers. It doesn’t really matter why. The point is, the opinion of an arsehole is irrelevant. They are nothing. They aren’t paying your bills or your wages. They are insignificant in every part of your life. They wouldn’t wear leggings? In a gym? That alone should tell you that no brain cells were engaged during this bit of piss taking. None of it was accurate or factual. It was just the nastiest things they could think of to say.

You, on the other hand, are a bloody warrior of a woman. You’ve overcome awful childhood bullying and you’re changing your body so you’re happier with it. Both of those things are tremendous achievements and don’t you dare let them diminish your shine and the pride you should be taking in both of those things. Do you think any of them could achieve similar? No, I don’t think so.

I think that the people running the gym would be horrified if they knew that anyone was taking the piss out of other gym users. Not least because who wants to use a gym where you’re not safe to get all red and sweaty (and if you’re not getting red & sweaty, then what’s the point of being there?) in case some nasty fucker takes the piss.

Use this as a chance to stand up to everyone who has ever bullied you and say ‘No more. I’m not taking any more of this crap’. Report them to the gym and then you get back in there and enjoy yourself (if that’s possible in a gym? I don’t have your fitness ethic, so wouldn’t know!) and get those endorphins!