I got laughed at in the gym and now I never want to go back

[CinnamonCrunch33]

I am obese. I always have been and potentially always will be. Over the last year or so I’ve lost a lot of weight and finally found some confidence to workout and join a gym.

I’ve always had complicated feelings around working out. I was ridiculed a lot during PE at school, the boys would make horrible snarky remarks and the girls would laugh at me in the changing rooms. I used to get changed in the showers which had curtains between them (like a shower curtain) and the popular girls would press the buttons to turn the shower on so that I would have to come out half dressed, and they’d laugh at me and make cruel comments about my body.

One thing that sticks out to me is I was really unfit at 14/15, but did the cross country anyway. My mum made me go in to do it because she didn’t agree with me skipping it. It was a mix of (slow) jogging and walking for me, but I did it. I remember saying to a friend that I was proud of myself for doing my best. The most popular boy in our year overheard and started mocking me, he made cruel comments about how I’d walked part of the course and how I may as well have not shown up. I didn’t run then for 10 years.

PE teachers used to make remarks about how I wasn’t trying and didn’t put any effort in, how I’d be better off not trying or coming in. As soon as I could stop PE lessons I did.

I was using the squat machine tonight and a couple of younger girls (I’d guess late teens) were watching me and quite loudly laughed and made a comment about how they wouldn’t even bother if they were me, and that they wouldn’t be out in leggings. They kept staring and laughing at me as I moved round my workout and I ended up leaving early to just go home because I couldn’t stand it.

I know I’m mostly being silly but it’s brought back all of those feelings of shame I had from my childhood and I just want to stop working out entirely. It’s made me feel like I don’t belong there, and like I’m being silly to have tried it.

Don't let them be the reason you stop trying to get fit. Please go back and report.Shit like this should not be allowed to happen.

GO BACK!!!

Im so sorry you were subjected to that, but attitudes like that are getting much rarer. Kids and teens etc are much kinder than they were back in our day.

Honestly, don’t give them that power over you. Go back, this is your life.

Fuck them.
Awful people.
You should have said you'll smack her, see their smirk fade.
I'm sorry this happened, some gym's are cesspits.

I'm so so so sorry. I go to a gym where that would never happen. We cheer each other on!

That song "Nothing" from Chorus Line runs through my head - about an actor who couldn't feel anything in her acting class. "And I felt Nothing" but she then says "If I want something, go find a better class"

Find a better gym!

But maybe first, tell your current gym manager why you are thinking of leaving. Don't be embarrassed - say you heard them making rude remarks about your body and that you were bullied into leaving the gym earlier than you intended.

Also, can you rehearse with friends or loved ones what you might say if they do it again? Look straight at them and ask them if they have something to say to you?

Do you have a friend or gym buddy? I've met people at my gym by doing classes. Is that a possibility for you? Classes can often be a nice social event as well, once you get to know people - a smile and a hello, and how was that class for you? or "OMG, I'll have DOMS tomorrow" or some other light gym-speak comment to break the ice.

I've also started saying to other women in the change rooms, "I saw your deadlifts today - they are awesome" and people are usually really sweet about that.

Just a sense of getting some allies on the gym floor. I work out a couple of times a week with a personal trainer, and he's my ally as well - no-one would really dare say anything rude to me as he'd be on their case.

Don't give up the squats - they're really good for you.

Well done for what you've achieved so far! This experience says far more about them than it does about you, so as others have said please don't let it put you off. I agree you should report it and the gyms response will let you know if you should find a more inclusive gym.

I put YABU, not because you did anything wrong, but because you are thinking of letting some small minded little girls detract from something you want and need to achieve for yourself.
Time to put the big girl pants on, or leggings, and get back to the gym with your headphones on.
There will always be sad bullies in the world, but dont use them as an excuse to not achieve your aims, youre there for you, not them.
Good luck and keep at it!

Please don't give up.

I was bullied during PE when I was at school 50 yrs ago. Going back to the gym has been a revelation for me - we're all shapes and sizes and everyone has been really supportive.

Was there no one on duty when you were there? The two little [insert word]s should have been pulled up for their behaviour and - preferably - ejected.

I saw 2 young men do this to an older man and I told the reception staff and they got dragged out and given a written warning.
They are turds and will always have disgusting personalities and poor quality relationships. You are better than them, hold you head up high.

That's totally unacceptable. Report it to the staff. But please try and let this put you off going.

I think there was someone there but I just wanted to go.

thanks everyone for your kind words. I know it’s silly to not go again, and I’ll probably feel differently tomorrow, but right now I feel about two feet tall and like I’m a kid being bullied again, which is a horrible feeling

My gym would ban them for this, the gym is for everybody, except bullies.

I’ve been to the gym obese for years, and I still go to the same one now with a healthy BMI (than you ozempic)

dont let anyone make you feel you don’t belong there

Definitely report this. Do it by email if you can’t face the staff. Detail the time you were there and where in the gym you were. Assuming there’s CCTV they can see who it is. Every gym I’ve been to you’ve had to tap a card/fob to get it. It won’t take them long to figure out who it was.

Nasty little bitches. Please don't let a bunch of know nothing teenagers put you off if you want to go to that gym . Definitely report them, I bet the management will be glad to get rid of those brats .

Little brats

Don't let two gobshite teens dictate where you go and what you do.

I wish I could slap them on your behalf. Horrible brats

People who laugh are actually insecure in themselves. You are there. Who can criticize you for trying to lose weight.. no one! Ignore them, hold your head high and be proud of yourself.

Get yourself back! Feck them. They probably spend their entire gym session on the stairmaster because tiktok told them too. Don't let them beat you. Report them to the gym. Keep going! It's all about mindset. When I was 2 stone overweight I got this vibe from a few of the younger girls. Heavily made up faces. Tiny shorts so everyone could see what they had for lunch. I just kept going and lifting weights as hard as it was. You can do it!

Oh, I’m so sorry this happened. Absolutely report them and absolutely do not stop going. You go in there with your head held high - it is them that should be ashamed, not you, and their comments say so much more about them than anything else. I’d be absolutely mortified if my kids ever did something like that. Just please don’t give up. You’re doing it! Don’t let them take that away from you.

In my experience the best gym culture can be found at local, independent gyms, normally frequented by body builders. They will help you out so much and just want to see you improve. Always happy to spot you if required. See if you have any of them locally and you wont regret it.

Yes, I've learnt this as well. A couple of years ago I had to move gyms from a very nice commercial chain gym to a smaller independent gym, which had started as a bodybuilding & powerlifting place.

At first, it was a bit scary - all those big strong men! But I've learned that they are the sweetest - and the middle-aged blokes particularly, are so nice & respect women who lift (it probably helps that relative to my size I'm very strong).

I was once challenging myself on the bench press (without safeties) and failed a bigger lift than I'd ever done - I was safe, but was having to wriggle out from under the bar. The guy next to me noticed as I was extricating myself, and actually apologised that he hadn't noticed earlier in time to give me a spot! I thought that was amazingly nice.

Teenagers know nothing about the world.
The day will come when the shoe will be on the other foot and they will look back and realise what bitches they were.

Agree with this. I do CrossFit and have dropped in to other CrossFit gyms when away with work or on holiday and am yet to come across one that would act like this. Generally smaller groups and a great community.

And OP, those girls were cunts, ignore them and try not to let it put you off.

OMG - OP what a horrible experience!

Honestly, in my gym (S London - membership) there is huge range of bodies, young , old, big, small, fit and 'pre-beginner' , and I have never seen any bad behaviour at all.

You are simply YOU, and like anyone else are in the gym to get fitter / keep fit. As for all of us your size or other aspects of your appearance are irrelevant. Please do not give up - you have a right to be there and no one has the right to be so nasty and rude.

If they'd been teenage boys sexually harassing or wolfwhistling etc, what would you have said?

Please return, but on your way to work out, ask if you can see the manager, or the shift manager. They'll be right on your side. Maybe ask if you can hire a PT just for one session, to scare the silly gym bunnies off.

I always think to myself about silly young girls (I'm 66) if they're able to do what I can do in 40 years time, then they can scoff at me. Otherwise, they need to shut up.

@CinnamonCrunch33 People who laugh at overweight people in the gym are thick as shit.

It makes absolutely no sense. The gym is to help people to become healthy. It exists specifically for people who need to improve their health. The gym exists for overweight people, just as doctors exist for people who are unwell.

Don’t let those disgusting bullies stop you OP.
They are nasty human beings and truly don’t deserve to occupy any space in your memory.

if exercise makes you feel good, then keep going! 💪