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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

I got laughed at in the gym and now I never want to go back

444 replies

CinnamonCrunch33 · 20/10/2025 18:43

I am obese. I always have been and potentially always will be. Over the last year or so I’ve lost a lot of weight and finally found some confidence to workout and join a gym.

I’ve always had complicated feelings around working out. I was ridiculed a lot during PE at school, the boys would make horrible snarky remarks and the girls would laugh at me in the changing rooms. I used to get changed in the showers which had curtains between them (like a shower curtain) and the popular girls would press the buttons to turn the shower on so that I would have to come out half dressed, and they’d laugh at me and make cruel comments about my body.

One thing that sticks out to me is I was really unfit at 14/15, but did the cross country anyway. My mum made me go in to do it because she didn’t agree with me skipping it. It was a mix of (slow) jogging and walking for me, but I did it. I remember saying to a friend that I was proud of myself for doing my best. The most popular boy in our year overheard and started mocking me, he made cruel comments about how I’d walked part of the course and how I may as well have not shown up. I didn’t run then for 10 years.

PE teachers used to make remarks about how I wasn’t trying and didn’t put any effort in, how I’d be better off not trying or coming in. As soon as I could stop PE lessons I did.

I was using the squat machine tonight and a couple of younger girls (I’d guess late teens) were watching me and quite loudly laughed and made a comment about how they wouldn’t even bother if they were me, and that they wouldn’t be out in leggings. They kept staring and laughing at me as I moved round my workout and I ended up leaving early to just go home because I couldn’t stand it.

I know I’m mostly being silly but it’s brought back all of those feelings of shame I had from my childhood and I just want to stop working out entirely. It’s made me feel like I don’t belong there, and like I’m being silly to have tried it.

OP posts:
ForUmberFinch · 22/10/2025 09:17

You are awesome for overcoming your anxiety and getting in the gym. I’m so pleased you reported these bottom dwellers and they have hopefully learned a lesson. I teach teens. They can be vile at times, especially teen girls

Autumnleaffall · 22/10/2025 09:39

You are fabulous!

LilacReader · 22/10/2025 11:49

Just to help you at the beginning, maybe you could try to team up with a gym buddy? I know you shouldn't have to but it may help you feel more secure in the environment. I did see someone ask for one on FB the other day but there is probably another way of doing this also. I'm sorry you feel like you do, but just hold your head high (easier said than done when it's not us personally). Take care and please continue. x

ProcrastinatorsAnonymous · 22/10/2025 12:03

Just to chime and say you handled this brilliantly and I hope you feel proud of yourself for continuing to turn up. I hope the gym made it clear to those girls why they were banned, and that they reflect on it at some point... Late teens is old enough to know better.

KookyRoseCrab · 22/10/2025 12:06

ForUmberFinch · 22/10/2025 09:17

You are awesome for overcoming your anxiety and getting in the gym. I’m so pleased you reported these bottom dwellers and they have hopefully learned a lesson. I teach teens. They can be vile at times, especially teen girls

Well said I was a youth worker for 20+ years and I just gave up 2 years ago

PloddingAlong21 · 22/10/2025 14:00

I have said YABU….not to feel the way you feel. You’ve been treated horribly….but don’t let this make you quit!

You are doing incredibly well. For those vile people laughing, there will be far more looking over impressed that you’re there putting the effort in to improve your health. Well done!

I would actually write a really strongly worded email to the gym manager about the experience, how it’s made you feel and how you would like this addressed as the purpose of a gym is to be healthy. Those girls are bullying you and they’re pathetic.

Stand up to them and be proud of your efforts. The gym will not want this culture so will want to address it.

PloddingAlong21 · 22/10/2025 14:02

I’m late to the party and see you’ve sorted it. Fantastic!

Well done and good for you! Bullies don’t win!

Snakebite61 · 22/10/2025 14:29

CinnamonCrunch33 · 20/10/2025 18:43

I am obese. I always have been and potentially always will be. Over the last year or so I’ve lost a lot of weight and finally found some confidence to workout and join a gym.

I’ve always had complicated feelings around working out. I was ridiculed a lot during PE at school, the boys would make horrible snarky remarks and the girls would laugh at me in the changing rooms. I used to get changed in the showers which had curtains between them (like a shower curtain) and the popular girls would press the buttons to turn the shower on so that I would have to come out half dressed, and they’d laugh at me and make cruel comments about my body.

One thing that sticks out to me is I was really unfit at 14/15, but did the cross country anyway. My mum made me go in to do it because she didn’t agree with me skipping it. It was a mix of (slow) jogging and walking for me, but I did it. I remember saying to a friend that I was proud of myself for doing my best. The most popular boy in our year overheard and started mocking me, he made cruel comments about how I’d walked part of the course and how I may as well have not shown up. I didn’t run then for 10 years.

PE teachers used to make remarks about how I wasn’t trying and didn’t put any effort in, how I’d be better off not trying or coming in. As soon as I could stop PE lessons I did.

I was using the squat machine tonight and a couple of younger girls (I’d guess late teens) were watching me and quite loudly laughed and made a comment about how they wouldn’t even bother if they were me, and that they wouldn’t be out in leggings. They kept staring and laughing at me as I moved round my workout and I ended up leaving early to just go home because I couldn’t stand it.

I know I’m mostly being silly but it’s brought back all of those feelings of shame I had from my childhood and I just want to stop working out entirely. It’s made me feel like I don’t belong there, and like I’m being silly to have tried it.

Forget those pathetic idiots. Do what you like. Tell the management. It's frowned upon.

LetsFlyHighAway · 22/10/2025 16:23

Well done for putting effort in to get healthier!
These people aren't important in your life. I'm betting if they'd seen you in the supermarket or walking down the street they'd still have made comments, and if you'd been slim but had clothes on that they didn't like they'd probably have still laughed, people like that enjoy being nasty. Its not a reflection on you or the thing they've chosen to bully about, just a reflection on their personality.

HappyMamma2023 · 22/10/2025 16:29

Are these young girls the tyoe who seem to do very little exercising and a lot of posing and scrolling on their phones? Their opinion means nothing. Keeo showing up OP you're dping this for you, you don't need to prove to anyone else. Esp giggly school girls xx

Trishthedish · 22/10/2025 16:51

Please report them to the manager. I admire you so much. I started going to the gym when I was 65, and the gym I use is welcoming and very supportive. I find it hard work but this morning one of the instructors told me that she could see some muscle definition in my arms. Made my day. Don’t let the skinny beasts drive you away. You are worth ten of them. You go girl 👏👏👏

GreenLaurel · 22/10/2025 17:07

That’s a result and well done for speaking up.

Mincepietastic · 22/10/2025 17:22

Great result, well done! No excuse for bullying and there should be consequences.

Slightly similar thing for me - on two different occasion out running over the summer, two different older men both physically bigger than me (so intimidating) physically mocked me - i.e. running in a really ungainly way, like simulating someone with a disability - as I ran past them (both with their wives, no idea if that makes them more likely to mock a single female runner out on their own ...).

It was really upsetting and really getting inside my head and making me not want to run. It might sound a bit mad, but I put what had happened into ChatGPT and explored some of the stuff suggested. It did help - just in case you find you can't put it behind you

Daisymay1000 · 22/10/2025 17:49

CinnamonCrunch33 · 20/10/2025 18:43

I am obese. I always have been and potentially always will be. Over the last year or so I’ve lost a lot of weight and finally found some confidence to workout and join a gym.

I’ve always had complicated feelings around working out. I was ridiculed a lot during PE at school, the boys would make horrible snarky remarks and the girls would laugh at me in the changing rooms. I used to get changed in the showers which had curtains between them (like a shower curtain) and the popular girls would press the buttons to turn the shower on so that I would have to come out half dressed, and they’d laugh at me and make cruel comments about my body.

One thing that sticks out to me is I was really unfit at 14/15, but did the cross country anyway. My mum made me go in to do it because she didn’t agree with me skipping it. It was a mix of (slow) jogging and walking for me, but I did it. I remember saying to a friend that I was proud of myself for doing my best. The most popular boy in our year overheard and started mocking me, he made cruel comments about how I’d walked part of the course and how I may as well have not shown up. I didn’t run then for 10 years.

PE teachers used to make remarks about how I wasn’t trying and didn’t put any effort in, how I’d be better off not trying or coming in. As soon as I could stop PE lessons I did.

I was using the squat machine tonight and a couple of younger girls (I’d guess late teens) were watching me and quite loudly laughed and made a comment about how they wouldn’t even bother if they were me, and that they wouldn’t be out in leggings. They kept staring and laughing at me as I moved round my workout and I ended up leaving early to just go home because I couldn’t stand it.

I know I’m mostly being silly but it’s brought back all of those feelings of shame I had from my childhood and I just want to stop working out entirely. It’s made me feel like I don’t belong there, and like I’m being silly to have tried it.

Listen, your in the gym because your aware you need to lose weight and get in shape - IGNORE THEM! I would have made them feel awkward and say at least I’m here doing something about it and not in McDonald’s, why do you feel the reason to belittle me? Kill them with kindness. Nasty little shits

Goodgollypasta · 22/10/2025 20:45

Thats absolutely horrible, and this was a tough read from a fellow bigger girl who goes to the gym!

Please dont let this stop you from going! These are the type of girls who peak in senior school and think theyre the dogs doo-dars who end up wishing they could relieve their glory days... 🙄

Youre doing amazing just being in the gym! Keep going! You're amazing

Mumsince2021x · 22/10/2025 21:50

Wah, this makes me feel so sad. I’m sorry OP. People can be so cruel. I cannot stand bullying.

You should feel very proud of going and also for doing your cross country event years ago! Chin up xx

Mcoco · 23/10/2025 15:41

I am so happy that they have been banned. Keep up the good work OP hold your head up high you are doing amazing!

Fundays12 · 23/10/2025 18:10

CinnamonCrunch33 · 21/10/2025 15:09

Just as an update.

I managed to get in before work. They took down the time of the incident and checked through CCTV, and pinpointed the time. They have left me a voicemail this afternoon to say they managed to track back and find the girls entering, found their membership numbers and they’ve been banned, effective immediately. I’m really pleased!

Fantastic outcome. Well done pure gym

Mackerelfillets · 23/10/2025 18:31

CinnamonCrunch33 · 20/10/2025 18:53

It’s a Puregym. I’ll report it tomorrow, I guess they’ll maybe be able to look at the CCTV? It’s just brought back so many horrible memories

I stopped going to Puregym as it soulless and generally lacks atmosphere. Its usually full of kids and isnt manned properly so they can get away with stuff. The best place I went was Nuffield as its not for profit and you feel properly supported. They also do classes which I found more fun rather than just pushing weights constantly.

Fountofwisdom · 23/10/2025 18:33

I’m so sorry to have read your story and can empathise. You are doing brilliantly for wanting to improve your health and fitness, so do not let these little bitches stop you.

I would absolutely report the incident to the gym. Those girls need to be chucked out. Gyms should have zero tolerance on any kind of harassment or bullying. There are often specific times at gyms that are adult-only, which would be good to know. I think the issue with Pure Gym is that they are probably the cheapest gym group on the market and therefore more accessible to young people.

I am also overweight and briefly took up jogging a few years ago, until one Sunday morning when I was out jogging and a man on the opposite side of the road shouted “You look ridiculous!”. I was so upset and went straight home and never jogged again. However, I have now joined a gym which I feel is a much more comfortable environment, and they only allow under-18s in from something like 4-5.30pm.

Sorry that all these idiots you describe have behaved so unkindly towards you, but unfortunately there are some total bastards in the world. But also far more kind people. I wish you well in your fitness journey, keep going! 🤗

Fountofwisdom · 23/10/2025 18:35

Mackerelfillets · 23/10/2025 18:31

I stopped going to Puregym as it soulless and generally lacks atmosphere. Its usually full of kids and isnt manned properly so they can get away with stuff. The best place I went was Nuffield as its not for profit and you feel properly supported. They also do classes which I found more fun rather than just pushing weights constantly.

Show quote history

Agree with you about this. I joined a PureGym about 4 years ago and the fact that it is mostly unstaffed, especially in the evenings, made me feel a bit unsafe. It’s because they are the cheapest option that they attract younger people, I think.

Bigminnie1 · 23/10/2025 19:14

Just read your updates OP and I think you are amazing! Well done and don’t let shitty people get you down.

Justanothermum42 · 24/10/2025 12:14

Any genuine gym goer would be appalled by what you experienced! Please report them. As a gym bunny myself I don’t even dare look at other goers, mind you commenting on their bodies! How awful. I was on the heavy side but with cardio sessions I have lost over 20 pounds in 2 months - please keep going and do what’s best for your body and health ❤️

Goldfoxwife · 24/10/2025 12:35

How awful op I'm sorry to hear this, please report it if you haven't already you have done amazing to get to the gym

Kloh · 24/10/2025 13:02

Return

If you see these girls or anyone else sniggering or making unpleasant comments, raise it with the staff.
If It’s one of those. 24/7 gyms, sometimes there are just. 1-2 members of staff