I got laughed at in the gym and now I never want to go back

[CinnamonCrunch33]

I am obese. I always have been and potentially always will be. Over the last year or so I’ve lost a lot of weight and finally found some confidence to workout and join a gym.

I’ve always had complicated feelings around working out. I was ridiculed a lot during PE at school, the boys would make horrible snarky remarks and the girls would laugh at me in the changing rooms. I used to get changed in the showers which had curtains between them (like a shower curtain) and the popular girls would press the buttons to turn the shower on so that I would have to come out half dressed, and they’d laugh at me and make cruel comments about my body.

One thing that sticks out to me is I was really unfit at 14/15, but did the cross country anyway. My mum made me go in to do it because she didn’t agree with me skipping it. It was a mix of (slow) jogging and walking for me, but I did it. I remember saying to a friend that I was proud of myself for doing my best. The most popular boy in our year overheard and started mocking me, he made cruel comments about how I’d walked part of the course and how I may as well have not shown up. I didn’t run then for 10 years.

PE teachers used to make remarks about how I wasn’t trying and didn’t put any effort in, how I’d be better off not trying or coming in. As soon as I could stop PE lessons I did.

I was using the squat machine tonight and a couple of younger girls (I’d guess late teens) were watching me and quite loudly laughed and made a comment about how they wouldn’t even bother if they were me, and that they wouldn’t be out in leggings. They kept staring and laughing at me as I moved round my workout and I ended up leaving early to just go home because I couldn’t stand it.

I know I’m mostly being silly but it’s brought back all of those feelings of shame I had from my childhood and I just want to stop working out entirely. It’s made me feel like I don’t belong there, and like I’m being silly to have tried it.

Don't let them ruin it for you OP.

“I can lose weight. More than I can say about your ugly personality”

You keep going. Don’t let them win!

Utterly disgusting behaviour and extremely hurtful. Please try to mentally move on from this experience, speak to the owner or manager and call them out. They probably do this to others too.
i can’t fathom how people can be so cruel, it says so much about them but nothing about you.

Exactly - or a sick person going to hospital

So glad you're reporting them.

Just so you feel more confident in reporting this - the girls have breached the terms and conditions of their contract with PureGym, which means they could have their membership cancelled.

So, if the staff member you report to doesn't take it seriously, escalate to the manager, because they were clearly being abusive and anti-social.

https://www.puregym.com/membership-terms-conditions/

See the section:

WE CAN CANCEL YOUR MEMBERSHIP AND END THIS CONTRACT

2. We can end this contract (which means cancelling your membership) immediately by giving notice to you by email, and we can claim from you any compensation due to us for loss we have suffered if:

b) you break any of the following Gym Rules:

3. the rule not to behave in an aggressive, abusive, violent, or threatening manner whilst on our premises;

4. the rule not to behave in an anti-social manner when on our premises, for example by making unwanted advances of a sexual nature to other gym users or PureGym staff members, or by staring or cat calling at other users or PureGym staff members, or by engaging with other users after they have asked you to leave them alone;

Oh OP I'm so sorry those horrible girls have made you feel that way. You should definitely report them. Hopefully one day they will look back and be mortified by their own cruelty. They are just nasty and it's more of a reflection on them than on you. I run (very slowly!) and I have had many horrible comments shouted at me by passing idiots. It's really upsetting but I try not to let it get to me as I am exercising for me and not anyone else.

That “popular” kid in high school who laughed at you and mocked you? He peaked in high school. He lost his hair at 19, knocked up the popular girl and they live with their 4 kids in her parents house. They’re on benefits because that loser can’t keep or find a job. Oh - and they hate each other.
And those 2 little bitches at the gym? They’re at the gym, which they spell “gim,” because they couldn’t find a school program stupid enough to enroll them.
Dear @CinnamonCrunch33 all the people who mock you have idiotic things about themselves that they’d die of embarrassment if people found out.
I was bullied for a year when I was 14. I’ll never forget how frightening and alone I felt.
And it made me NEVER want to bully anybody.
I hate bullies.

I think you’re the bravest, most gutsy girl on here.
You do us all proud. I’m rooting for you. You stay in that gym and you kick ass. Sending love. ❤️

edited for spelling

Yanbu and I'm sorry that happened and dredged up bad feelings.

You belong in the gym just as much as anyone else!

There is a long running series of threads where we all support each other, if you wanted to join us you'd be welcomed

www.mumsnet.com/talk/exercise/5411906-keeping-on-exercising?page=6&reply=147604868

That was not about you, that was about them and their own insecurities or problems. They try to put others down to feel better about their own crappy existence.
Once you had left, they wouldn’t have given you a second thought. They would have gone to go bully someone else about something else so don’t let them live in your head rent-free.
That being said, I have been to a couple of Pure Gyms and didn’t like the environment so go find another gym you can be comfortable in.

I'm so sorry you were treated like this, do not stop going & if you can confront people like this with a hard stare & a 'is there something you want to say to me' (loudly) & see what they say, I bet they'll say sod all! Cowards

I really sorry you had to experience that, please know they do not embody the gym culture at all

Look for the regulars and strike up a conversation with them, even starting with a recognition nod

I used to weigh 27+ stone and have had folks (usually women) mock me including being videoed and my loose skin being pointed out like I've some how not noticed it
I no longer give a shiny sh!t

Made friends with a regular who came to help when he saw we weren't quite using the right technique and now I'll speak to way more people

Had two 30+ women make comments on me today, one teased the other that she was just jealous and she looked me up and down and said "jealous, nothing there for me to be jealous of LOVE"

Said way more about her than it did about me

Remember their nasty behaviour is their problem, horrible bitchy behaviour.

Your behaviour is your concern, so go in spite of them. You are doing so well and the benefit of getting fitter will be immense.

You're not a child anymore, you don't need to pay heed to what was said when you were a child. I know it still hurts the child in you, but as an adult you can comfort your child ego and boss that hurt away. Give it a go. It works at least until you've fully healed the hurt you suffered as a child.

Good luck.

Absolutely nobody you should respect at the gym will ever laugh at you. Report these idiots. I can 100% gurantee anyone who trains seriously will only look at you with admiration for showing up and doing your best. Please, please continue to Train.

Definitely report! Not on sr all. And well done. The trauma from past bullying has stayed with you but you are fighting it!!!

You sound like you’re doing amazing.

Please don’t let these (and I’m going to steal someone else’s word) wankers slow your progress.
Keep going. Could you get a personal trainer to support you?

You aren't being silly, I think being upset about your recent experience is very understandable considering everything you experienced in the past.

I'm sorry this happened to you. Keep going you are doing good.

I'm really sorry OP. It sounds horrible and I hope you have a good support system.
People can be awful.

The trouble with PureGym is they’re not that well staffed. I used to be a member and there was a lot of young women taking selfies and chatting in groups so if it was similar I can see it could be an intimidating environment.

Is there a local community leisure centre gym you can join? A gym that’s linked to the council run swimming pool? I find they tend to be more inclusive. If you are medically obese you could get it on prescription I believe.

They are bitches and how awful that they triggered the memories of high school bullying. Don’t give up. I love seeing all different body types at the gym and I am always impressed when I see people making the effort to get healthier.

Please don't stop. You're doing something so brilliant for yourself and in a few years time you'll be so disappointed if you let anyone steal that from you.

I understand how awful you must have felt, but just always remember to be grateful you're you and not a cowbag who gets her kicks out of trying to make other people feel crap.

I've recently started going to a gym. I'm in my 70's, a bit overweight and not very fit but I've had no problems as there are others there like me and I'm certainly feeling fitter. Do the gym staff help you?
As@Bananaandmangosmoothie suggests, you could find a community leasure centre gym (which is what I go to). But in any case I'd look around to try to find a more supportive gym if I were you.

Sadly this is the only gym that works in with my schedule, or I’d look to move :(

That's crap OP - you deserve praise for your effort and resilience. It's just a form of bullying. Unfortunately, some people are dicks, and for some reason being cruel makes them feel better about themselves. Imagine being the type of person who had to do that to make themselves feel good!
Do not let this put you off! Find a more friendly gym (or maybe complain to the staff - I think at my gym they are keen to encourage a wide range of people to join so I think they would deal with this as the staff are really nice). Good luck with your fitness journey - it does become much easier!

I was in an outdoor pool in France once and I couldn’t swim (nor haul my arse out of the pool) and a couple of kids were watching me and laughing at me. It felt awful. But when I got home I determined to teach myself to swim - which I did. I’d always been afraid of water so it was an extra big achievement for me.

Anyway, really good on you for getting to the gym. I know it’s hard but don’t let that pair of idiots put you off.

I am so sorry OP - what a horrible experience. Unfortunately there are bullies and unkind people no matter how old we get - but there are many nice ones too. I second the advice to go for a smaller, more personal gym. If there is somewhere that does classes, that could be better also as you get to know the other people in the group too. Find one that suits you - I would also say that some of the nicest gym people and PTs are the ones that might look intimidating as they are so fit and fab looking but often they are the ones that are so happy to see people try to get fit that they are so eager to support you. I thrived in my small gym - the trainer (male) is so kind to everyone no matter the ability and there is a nice atmosphere between everyone there.

So sorry, OP.
Those girls sound really pathetic and immature.
I also suggest going back to the gym and having a word with a member of staff, I’d ask them to check the cameras if they can, and sort those girls out next time they come.