I got laughed at in the gym and now I never want to go back

[CinnamonCrunch33]

I am obese. I always have been and potentially always will be. Over the last year or so I’ve lost a lot of weight and finally found some confidence to workout and join a gym.

I’ve always had complicated feelings around working out. I was ridiculed a lot during PE at school, the boys would make horrible snarky remarks and the girls would laugh at me in the changing rooms. I used to get changed in the showers which had curtains between them (like a shower curtain) and the popular girls would press the buttons to turn the shower on so that I would have to come out half dressed, and they’d laugh at me and make cruel comments about my body.

One thing that sticks out to me is I was really unfit at 14/15, but did the cross country anyway. My mum made me go in to do it because she didn’t agree with me skipping it. It was a mix of (slow) jogging and walking for me, but I did it. I remember saying to a friend that I was proud of myself for doing my best. The most popular boy in our year overheard and started mocking me, he made cruel comments about how I’d walked part of the course and how I may as well have not shown up. I didn’t run then for 10 years.

PE teachers used to make remarks about how I wasn’t trying and didn’t put any effort in, how I’d be better off not trying or coming in. As soon as I could stop PE lessons I did.

I was using the squat machine tonight and a couple of younger girls (I’d guess late teens) were watching me and quite loudly laughed and made a comment about how they wouldn’t even bother if they were me, and that they wouldn’t be out in leggings. They kept staring and laughing at me as I moved round my workout and I ended up leaving early to just go home because I couldn’t stand it.

I know I’m mostly being silly but it’s brought back all of those feelings of shame I had from my childhood and I just want to stop working out entirely. It’s made me feel like I don’t belong there, and like I’m being silly to have tried it.

I was just thinking we needed an updated version of "cancel the cheque"

Et voila "report the girls" 😁

For anyone ready to suggest this yet again: SHE HAS. Three days ago.

I do hope you made your complaints, and the subsequent compliments on the attitude, and actions, of the local managers, known to the head office. Perhaps refer them to this thread.
You might be saving someone else from similar bad conduct. Can you say which Pure Gym it was?

Sorry I didn’t read the entire thread. Those girls should be banned from other PureGyms and hope PG has contacted other gyms - chains and independents in the area about the girls

People can be horrible! Don't quit! You can totally do this. If you would prefer to exercise in a more comfortable environment (ie no rude and insulting people) you can walk. Walking is (imo) the BEST exercise. Get some hand weights to tone your arms, do some push ups--I started with just ONE. The most i can do now is only 12, but I can see the muscle in my arms, so they are working. Look online for at home yoga and dance videos. Don't rush yourself, slow and steady. Have faith in yourself.

Try to gain a bit of satisfaction from knowing that anyone who mocks someone for being in the gym for whatever reason is a seriously tragic person. They must have serious self esteem issues not to mention sociopathic tendencies. Their life will not turn out well or may be going to Sh*t already.

Have you ever followed Alicia Mccarvell. She is very inspiring. Good luck and ignore them. They sound really pathetic and stupid. Don't let them win x

Don’t let some little bee-hatches ruin your experience of the gym. Go in, complain and point them out to the staff. They’ll get banned.

I'm so sorry you were treated this way. Don't let them bully you into not going to the gym as you are doing yourself so much good. The biggest revenge will be getting fitter and losing more weight. Report them to the gym and, if you see them again, tell them that in 12 months you will be slimmer, fitter and healthier but they will still be nasty, ignorant and stupid. Keep going as you are doing amazingly.

You're absolutely not being silly, that's disgusting behaviour and I'd be so ashamed if my daughter ever behaved like that. I wish you'd had the confidence to call them out for their behaviour and embarrassed them, but I'd urge you to consider reporting it to the gym. It's absolutely not acceptable for people to behave like that and I'm sure the gym would agree. Pls consider it, those horrible girls deserve consequences.

Just seen your latest update, so glad you reported it and the gym acted accordingly. Good on you. As someone who's been overweight all their life I can totally relate to your post, and it would affect me too. But now I'm into my 40s I really, genuinely care how I feel about myself and don't judge myself by typical beauty standards. As long as I'm healthy then all my energy goes into making my kids happy. Looks fade, but my kids will remember their childhoods for their entire life. Reassessing my priorities really helped me come to accept my appearance, hope you can get your confidence back :-)

So pleased to read your update!

And for what it’s worth, ‘fit’ comes in all shapes and sizes. Well done for not standing up for yourself. You have every right to be there. No one should make you feel like you don’t belong.

Pleased with how the gym staff dealt with it too.

I'm so sorry you had this OP. Horrid girls. It's not usual for gym behaviour tbh. Mostly everyone is looking out for each other or just getting on with their own stuff. People are generally supportive of anyone even in the building. They sound very immature and it's definitely about them not you. Please try again ❤️

I understand how awful these nasty girls must have made you feel. Please don't let them put you off your progress. Try to focus on your target. Bullies should never win. You have done so well so keep going. I am overweight and reluctant to go swimming especially after having a hip replacement. I put on weight after being bullied at my work. As long as I have the extra weight it reminds me why I put it on. I am determined to lose it and to prove to myself that I won against the bullies. You should do the same. Go to the gym and hold your head high. You are a stronger than you realise.😊👌

i am so sorry that happened, FWIW you are not being unreasonable. I remember some dickhead bloke leaning out of a white van and calling me a fat bitch when I was running. It must have been ten years ago but it still makes me squirm. I have never run outside since and stick to treadmills. All I can say with sincerity is those silly little girl’s opinions are worthless. They won’t always be young and thin. Please don’t let this put you off, you are entitled to the same space as them. Sending you a hug.

I'm totally with Jellybunny, what those girls did was unforgiveable. Firstly, report them to the gym staff and then MOVE ON. I joined a CrossFit club near me and I absolutely love it, the best thing I ever did. The support and encouragement from both staff and the people in my class (some very fit, some older, some not so fit). I loe the atmosphere and have made so many new friends. As a 63 year old overweight woman I have absolutely no regrets joining and my body confidence has soared because of the lovely supportive people I found there. Do look around, the classes are supportive, inclusive and above all else non-judgemental. Atta Girl, you've got this!

I'm a bigger woman myself and fortunately haven't heard any negative comments - although I mainly exercise at home now.
I did get one comment many yers ago that made me smile. It was during the London Olympics. I was jogging on a country road so you do say hello if you meet anyone. This big guy came towards me on his bike, gave me a huge wave and with a big smile said "I'll see you in Rio". Not sure if he was talking about me or him, but summed up the spirit of exercise and sport. We are all in our own race doing the best we can. Many people won't say anything, but will silently be respecting the effort you are making.

Go back to the gym with your head held high.

I'm sorry that happened op and good on you for reporting them.

The gym can be an intimidating place for some people at the best of times.

While I'm here I'm wondering what people think about using a gym at someone's house?

As in, it's a large space, fully equipped, has its own entrance, and bathroom, parking. No one staring at you or judging??

Well done, OP! Congrats.

I'm so happy to see your update OP. I use my local PureGym and the staff team are fab and it sounds like yours are too. I hope you have a more positive experience moving forward. Anyone that walks through the doors of a gym is doing a positive thing and should be applauded for doing so. Almost all gym goers have this mindset. Those girls have learnt a valuable lesson and you are a star. I wish you well ☺️