I want a sleep divorce

[Sleepingcreulty]

I love my husband dearly but over the last few years sharing a bed with him has become torture. He constantly fidgets due to an aching shoulder that he insists nothing can be done about , snores , farts loudly and gets up numerous times to go to the loo putting the light on every time . I’ve told him that he needs to reduce his fluid intake as he drinks mugs of coffee right up until bedtime but he insists this had no effect on him getting up so often . I have nudges in my back and breathing heavily in my face to get me to turn over as well as having the duvet pulled off me or dumped over me if he gets hot .He has a loud alarm that goes off at 5am that he puts on snooze and Its now beginning to affect my alertness and I’m fighting to stay awake in the day and often have to nap in the afternoon as I can’t fight the urge to sleep. I read online that having separate beds is the first step down the road to a divorce. I also read that broken sleep leads to health problems. I want to ask for separate beds but am frightened of hurting his feelings.

I snore, he grunts, throws himself around and mutters. I still get hot in the night, have insomnia and need my own bed and room. We had a bedroom divorce a few years ago now, I still dont sleep well but having my own space is heaven.

Separate rooms, definitely. I can't function as a mum, teacher and house manager without proper sleep .
We've been sleeping separately since the arrival of our second baby, six years ago. I'm dreaming of moving to a 4 bedrooms house so he doesn't have to sleep on the sofa bed in the lounge. He's ok but it's not great for him. Still better than annoying each other every night.

We have 2 double beds in 2 separate rooms. My husband has health issues which mean on the 4 nights before I have work we can't share or I would be useless at work and as his carer rest of the time. We have an alert system for if he needs me in an emergency. We've found a balance that works for us and reduces stress in the relationship hugely, and stops him feeling bad about disturbing what sleep I do get whilst still ensuring he's safe. We have a loving, healthy marriage.

Seperate rooms is a game changer. I'm a light sleeper. DH snores & has a CPAP. Even the stream of air coming from it blowing in my face means I can't face inwards. See He often forgets to put it on or the mask shifts. He's also overweight so the bed shakes when he rolls over, and he goes to bed really late which wakes me up, and I had to tiptoe when I got up early. He's also a really hot sleeper so the bed gets sweaty.

I get uninterrupted sleep now & can get up early without worrying about waking him up. I love it!!

You'll have to make the decision, though. Your DH is perfectly happy the way things are so won't change. You'll have to put his feelings aside & tell.him you're not getting any sleep because of X y z & it's solved by seperate bedrooms. If he baulks, tell him to address the issues.

My husband snores. I often move into another bedroom. I need a proper night's sleep.

I’m also sleep divorced most of the time ie when the kids are at uni. It’s bliss and I sleep so much better alone.

I very quietly slip out of bed and sleep in the lovely comfy double bed in the spare room, such bliss, even my dog follows me. This isn’t every night just when the thoughts of murdering my snoring farting heavy breathing duvet dumping DH get too strong. This means he remains alive and we remain married!!

‘Sleep divorce’ is a ridiculous way to put it - separate rooms for sleeping are the secret of many a long and happy marriage.