The venue told me off twice now on front of guests AIBU?

[StressedPartyFail]

There is a venue near my house that we visit regularly. They also host children’s parties in a room upstairs. My child really likes it here and wanted her birthday. No issue. I got a leaflet and said 10 children minimum, I booked and decided to invite 13, to make sure we hit the target room booking number in case a couple couldn’t come.
anyway, went to a different event there and spoke to the owner, (it’s owned by an older woman and her adult daughter, I was speaking to the adult daughter during all interactions so far). She mentioned that due to room size it was best that only
children came and had to be dropped off. The children attending are age 4-5 so I said it wouldn’t be appropriate and that parents would be staying. She said, “I totally understand. I have kids too”. No issue. Ned time I came in the same conversation was repeated.

fast forward to party day, it was on a weekend therefore it was 2 members of staff I had never met. Went up to party room and everyone invited had turned up. It was a slight squeeze but no drama, everyone had a great time. 10
mins in a member of staff working there came up and said loudly
in front of guests, “this is a fire hazard there are too many people in here. We can’t get in to do our job properly”. I asked to speak to her out of the room and away from the guests as it was quite embarrassing! She said she had to ring manager (adult daughter owner). I went back to the party room and a dad awkwardly said he could leave but his daughter would have to come if there were issues. I’m not sure how many others clocked on to this situation. Manager rang and asked to speak to me, she said on the phone that it was more people than recommended but if I was willing to help evacuate during a fire it was fine. All ok. Other weekend member of staff very apologetic but had made things awkward. Dad who offered to leave called her dramatic so he realised her tone. I felt on edge for the rest of the party but everyone seemed to have a great time.

A week later, (this morning) I bobbed in seeing a friend in the window. She had brought her other daughter after the one invited to my party had such a great time. the older woman (other owner) I never met was there, I untraced myself and she told me “OH ARE YOU THE PARTY LADY” and went on to tell me it was horrendous and a fire hazard and too many people were in the room. She said her staff were traumatised with stress and had to be paid extra due to this and the fact they had to stay and clear up after us (where actually I ended up happily hosting the party and completely cleared up. Plus took everything downstairs and boxed things which they would usually have to do). I tried to keep her voice down as the lady behind attended the party and it was awkward. I’ve gone home quite frazzled and stressed. This is somewhere we love
to go. We made it clear on numbers from the start and they were happy
to take our money and book in. What do I do from here? Offer to pay the staff? I’m worried to book again and we really enjoy it here. Thanks in advance x

What I find really bizarre is that neither side had a confirmed number of people that will be in the room. Did you not tell them the final number of guests (plus parents)? Of you had said 26 people will be in the room - 13 children and 13 parents, they would have pointed out that room is too small. If both sides had confirmed numbers none of this would have been an issue.

I confirmed 13 children and said twice parents would be attending

I agree. /\

The venue owners were ridiculous, the poster did nothing wrong, but she was put in an embarrassing situation, not once, but twice.
I would be very annoyed, and I sure as hell would not give them another penny.

If they knew the numbers when they took your money then they are unprofessional to bring this up again. I would be very quick to shut down any more talk about it and won't engage with them further.

You have done nothing wrong here.

• they said minimum numbers, no maximum. You only invited 3 over minimum for goodness sake
• when they raised parents as an issue, you told them parents were staying- they had the option to cancel your booking at that point if it were a problem.
• they tried to make this your fault publicly, twice

I wouldn’t bother with emails, complaints etc. personally any further. If anyone dared to raise it again with me I would respond robustly that this was on them - publicly and loudly if that is what THEY choose. Offer to give them money? They should compensate you if anything.

The venue got it wrong - they shouldn’t have let you organise a crafts party for young children if they were expecting them to be left alone. They could’ve sorted it out before the date; now they’re bad mouthing you I think I’d have words - especially having staff say you were at fault and left a mess!

Well then the staff member who agreed it should be the one dealing with any concerns, not OP who has cleared everything with a staff member before the party.

OP you could either just ignore and make sure you never use the venue again or publish a review online detailing your experience.

@Lefthandedkitty

"Fire regs and insurance were compromised.
She would have been wiped out if someone had been injured or died if there'd been an incident.
Did every child have an adult with them? So there were 13 kids, plus yours, plus 14 adults in a room insured as suitable for (say) 20 people?
Not surprising she was upset."

I don't know what country you're posting from but in the UK it is entirely the responsibility of the venue to ensure that health & safety regulations along with fire and insurance stipulations are being met. When taking a booking the venue owner/manager asks the client a number of questions about the event - how many people attending is usually top of the list. The client is then asked to sign T&C's and the venue owner must satisfy themselves that they can accommodate all of the client's requirements in line with safety regulations. If they fail to do so, then they are in breach of just about every rule going and will find themsevles in court or prison. None of this is the job or responsbility of the client booking the venue!

I think this sounds like both sides are responsible. If there is a limit / you can’t just ignore it. The staff probably feared, quite understandably, that if anything bad happened then the blame would fall on them. I know how front of house always get a kicking when things go wrong.
you can’t just ignore guidelines because you want what you want.
Obviously it is bad to be rude to customers but you were responsible for ignoring their guidelines. Regardless of the daughter’s assent - the guidelines are what the whole staff expect to be adhered to.
if you want more people then invite fewer guests!

Are YOU actually ok? Honestly, what an immense overreaction to how someone manages their emails, perhaps a lie down in a dark room would be a good idea before that vein in your forehead explodes

I imagine it may have something to do with their insurance policy, in case of any accident - if there are more people in the party room than stipulated on the policy, they may not be covered?

That’s all fair enough!

But there wasn’t a maximum number given otherwise I would have been easier to manage. So I’m not sure which guidelines ?

URGH, “typical small mother and daughter run business” yes aren’t women such silly billies!

Are you absolutely sure the flyer said “minimum 10” not “maximum 10” just seems really odd.

But if you’re sure, then yes make a complaint about their behaviour.

100%. Price for room hire then price pre person with a minimum of 10 per booking.

Crazy they didn’t stipulate a max. After more money I guess. Hope they have learnt from this.

I’ve just checked and it says on their Instagram , “our party room is available for groups of 10 or more”.

There was no guidelines for the Op to ignore. They said minimum of 10. When the owner said about parents she didn't actually say "you can only have 12 people" or "20 is the limits for fire regs".

This is entirely on the venue owners.

26 is quite a way over 10.

They were very unclear and rude.

anyway, went to a different event there and spoke to the owner, (it’s owned by an older woman and her adult daughter, I was speaking to the adult daughter during all interactions so far). She mentioned that due to room size it was best that only children came and had to be dropped off. The children attending are age 4-5 so I said it wouldn’t be appropriate and that parents would be staying. She said, “I totally understand. I have kids too”. No issue. Ned time I came in the same conversation was repeated

This is where the venue's communication was unclear. The adult daughter should have said that there was a maximum number of guests allowed due to fire regulations and not this wishy washy stuff about "it's best if only children come".
There will be a maximum number due to fire regulations and the weekend staff were right to raise it but the issue was caused by the owner.

I wouldn't book a party with them again. I'd have also written an email saying that you weren't made aware of a maximum number due to fire regulations and that the venue should make this clean on leaflets and when communication with customers.

If there is a limit / you can’t just ignore it. The staff probably feared, quite understandably, that if anything bad happened then the blame would fall on them.

Read the thread -

• There was no maximum capacity stated
• OP confirmed 13 kids + parents multiple times

If OP's booking was over capacity, it shouldn't have been accepted at the booking stage. It is the venue's responsibility to manage this.

If the room was over capacity on the day, the venue staff should have stopped the event and made parents leave the space. Again, nobody's responsibility but theirs. If something bad had happened the blame would have absolutely fallen on them, as it should. It would likely have invalidated their insurance too.

Are other posters confusing you too?! is there another way to say there were NO, absolutely NO guidelines on maximum number of guests only minimum. You didn't miss anything or ignore anything - they should have realised their mistake and just ensured they didn't let it happen again.

Nothing is on you OP. Good luck x

So many people don’t read the OP properly. It’s frustrating!