The venue told me off twice now on front of guests AIBU?

[StressedPartyFail]

There is a venue near my house that we visit regularly. They also host children’s parties in a room upstairs. My child really likes it here and wanted her birthday. No issue. I got a leaflet and said 10 children minimum, I booked and decided to invite 13, to make sure we hit the target room booking number in case a couple couldn’t come.
anyway, went to a different event there and spoke to the owner, (it’s owned by an older woman and her adult daughter, I was speaking to the adult daughter during all interactions so far). She mentioned that due to room size it was best that only
children came and had to be dropped off. The children attending are age 4-5 so I said it wouldn’t be appropriate and that parents would be staying. She said, “I totally understand. I have kids too”. No issue. Ned time I came in the same conversation was repeated.

fast forward to party day, it was on a weekend therefore it was 2 members of staff I had never met. Went up to party room and everyone invited had turned up. It was a slight squeeze but no drama, everyone had a great time. 10
mins in a member of staff working there came up and said loudly
in front of guests, “this is a fire hazard there are too many people in here. We can’t get in to do our job properly”. I asked to speak to her out of the room and away from the guests as it was quite embarrassing! She said she had to ring manager (adult daughter owner). I went back to the party room and a dad awkwardly said he could leave but his daughter would have to come if there were issues. I’m not sure how many others clocked on to this situation. Manager rang and asked to speak to me, she said on the phone that it was more people than recommended but if I was willing to help evacuate during a fire it was fine. All ok. Other weekend member of staff very apologetic but had made things awkward. Dad who offered to leave called her dramatic so he realised her tone. I felt on edge for the rest of the party but everyone seemed to have a great time.

A week later, (this morning) I bobbed in seeing a friend in the window. She had brought her other daughter after the one invited to my party had such a great time. the older woman (other owner) I never met was there, I untraced myself and she told me “OH ARE YOU THE PARTY LADY” and went on to tell me it was horrendous and a fire hazard and too many people were in the room. She said her staff were traumatised with stress and had to be paid extra due to this and the fact they had to stay and clear up after us (where actually I ended up happily hosting the party and completely cleared up. Plus took everything downstairs and boxed things which they would usually have to do). I tried to keep her voice down as the lady behind attended the party and it was awkward. I’ve gone home quite frazzled and stressed. This is somewhere we love
to go. We made it clear on numbers from the start and they were happy
to take our money and book in. What do I do from here? Offer to pay the staff? I’m worried to book again and we really enjoy it here. Thanks in advance x

Gosh no, don't offer to pay more! This is entirely on them and you have done nothing wrong. I would have said I'd asked so and so who she said it was fine and would probably have reiterated the same when the other lady collared you in the shop. I understand it's not always easy when you are put on the spot.

I would probably leave them an honest review to warn others about the mystery maximum number allowed and their rudeness and never go again. The people running the place are part of the experience for me.

The OP had given all the info at the time of booking regarding children and parents attending. They accepted the booking on those grounds. The Op never added to any numbers

Yeah, I was wondering this.

They as a business shouldn’t talk about you out of school.
i would move on and not darken their door again.
yes you over invited and if they had said but the parents/guardians couldn’t stay due to it been a small area i would have said return my money I’m not a babysitter

My reading of it was that OP booked for 13 children, then in conversation told the owner that all the parents would also be there (i.e. those adults were not part of the original booking, only the children were).

So she did add to the numbers? But, either way, she was told it would be too many - she chose to ignore them.

Do not give them another penny! It sounds like the daughter and mother who own this place need to take a crash course on how to run a customer facing business!

Aside from the way other staff spoke to you, the mother was wrong to call you out after the event - and if she says anything to you again, I would write an honest review.

How can they berate you for exceeding numbers, when you were not given a maximum number allowed in the first place?!

And as for the "if you are willing to help evacuate in the event of a fire" comments - WTF?! 😲

These people clearly have no a) health and safety skills, b) very little management skills, and c) zero people management skills.

If this happened to me, I would be checking every insurance certificate / fire extinguisher / PAT tested item etc to make sure everything was in order. But that's just me, and stuff like this would really pi$$ me off! 😂

The ten children was the minimum amount required. Not the maximum. Maybe read the post properly before making a stupid comment.

Upstairs was party room. Downstairs was the business which was fully booked for the day so nowhere for parents to go have a coffee

The venue booked the party in, the venue knew how many children were attending, the venue knew parents would be staying, the venue then allowed that…. At one point makes you think this is OPs fault? Before accepting the booking the venue should of said it is a maximum of so many people and we can not accommodate anymore, if OP then refused to drop numbers the venue should of said unfortunately we can’t host you.

What is the capacity of the room? 26 may have exceeded it.

Before the day itself the OP had made it clear that there would be children and adults. the venue had all this info. It wasn’t a surprise on the day. The venue should have emailed the OP ahead of time and told her the maximum amount of people allowed in the room and given her the option to cancel if it turns out the room was no longer suitable. It was clearly just a miscommunication between the parties involved. The venue should not have waited until the day to bring all this up.

Does it say anywhere on the booking information what the maximum room capacity is? Strange they give a minimum number and as they do, they should give a maximum number.

You surely do this on the invite?

The venue has suggested that due to restrictions it is drop off. I appreciate some of you may wish to stay in which case there is a cafe downstairs or we can wait just outside.

Something like that.

They wouldn't have bothered having the conversation twice with OP if the room was plenty big enough.

The twists of logic people are using!
If the only acceptable number of people in the room is 10, 11, 12, 13 or 14 then this needs to be stated when booking.

The owner only initially suggested that a drop-off would be preferable when she didn't know how young the children were. Again, if age needs to be factored in to the booking then they need to ask for it or state accepted ages.

If it's all down to fire capacity then that needs to directly inform their booking policy and they need to make restrictions clear based on that, not "ooh it's a bit of a squeeze".

They sound like they don't have a clue what's going on tbh. Don't dwell.

Did you tell them that there was 13 children or 10? Is there a bigger room available? How many parents stayed behind?
They'll apologise for the sake of it.

Before I paid and booked she said 15 kids advised and best if parents don’t stay as room can get crowded. I replied and said they were 4-5 and parents would have to stay. She replied the pic in the image which made me think it would be ok. I then double checked again after with her before paying

How many people in total were attending op?

And I was ok with it being a little crowded so guessed it would be ok

The issue will totally be insurance.
Can understand the owners being stressed as if there was a fire and they were over the numbers allowed it would invalidate the insurance and the owners would be personally liable.
Not to mention the impact it could have on evacuation the building, especially where small children are involved.
Personally I think the owners should have an advertised maximum number of people who can attend, I find it strange they don't.
People always work on the basis it won't happen to me but it can and it does, if I were the OP this would have concerned me on the day especially as it was my daughter's party.

She was too polite and not honest enough. Her second sentence makes it clear she didn't want that many people tbh. If I had received that I would have 100% understood she didn't want that many parents there tbh - I think you missed the subtly she was trying to use!

Bad communication from both parties, unfortunately,.

That’s fair enough but the way I took it was yeah it’s fine but it’ll be a bit crowded and we were ok with it. That for me was the chance for her to say no

Were you paying the per person fee for the parents?

Are you paying just for space or are some materials/activities/food included ?

It seems that they would like to charge per person in the room, and would expect 10-15 people there.

That said, they didn't handle it well, when the owner decided there is no other solution than turning a blind eye and hoping for the best, they should have instructed someone on the spot. But maybe noone wanted to put that in writing.

I suppose their model counts with older children staying without parents.

It sounds like their business is badly managed tbh. Don’t offer to pay them more money fgs. In fact, I wouldn’t be spending any more money with them from now on and would be leaving a review detailing your experience with them.

She mentioned that due to room size it was best that only children came and had to be dropped off. The children attending are age 4-5 so I said it wouldn’t be appropriate and that parents would be staying. She said, “I totally understand. I have kids too”.

This was the point at which there should have been clarification I think.

Sounds as if she should have asked for more idea of how many kids & adults & cancelled if necessary.

Eta.
Sorry Op missed the post with more detail.

I wouldn't use them anymore they sound awful.

They aren't very professional, are they?! I wouldn't want to support their business again, but if you enjoy it, I'd just try my best to ignore and move on. If they bring it up again, I'd make my points, tell them the message has been received (and possibly suggest ways that they could have avoided this situation), and hope they got the message and tired of publicly berating me. 🙄