The venue told me off twice now on front of guests AIBU?

[StressedPartyFail]

There is a venue near my house that we visit regularly. They also host children’s parties in a room upstairs. My child really likes it here and wanted her birthday. No issue. I got a leaflet and said 10 children minimum, I booked and decided to invite 13, to make sure we hit the target room booking number in case a couple couldn’t come.
anyway, went to a different event there and spoke to the owner, (it’s owned by an older woman and her adult daughter, I was speaking to the adult daughter during all interactions so far). She mentioned that due to room size it was best that only
children came and had to be dropped off. The children attending are age 4-5 so I said it wouldn’t be appropriate and that parents would be staying. She said, “I totally understand. I have kids too”. No issue. Ned time I came in the same conversation was repeated.

fast forward to party day, it was on a weekend therefore it was 2 members of staff I had never met. Went up to party room and everyone invited had turned up. It was a slight squeeze but no drama, everyone had a great time. 10
mins in a member of staff working there came up and said loudly
in front of guests, “this is a fire hazard there are too many people in here. We can’t get in to do our job properly”. I asked to speak to her out of the room and away from the guests as it was quite embarrassing! She said she had to ring manager (adult daughter owner). I went back to the party room and a dad awkwardly said he could leave but his daughter would have to come if there were issues. I’m not sure how many others clocked on to this situation. Manager rang and asked to speak to me, she said on the phone that it was more people than recommended but if I was willing to help evacuate during a fire it was fine. All ok. Other weekend member of staff very apologetic but had made things awkward. Dad who offered to leave called her dramatic so he realised her tone. I felt on edge for the rest of the party but everyone seemed to have a great time.

A week later, (this morning) I bobbed in seeing a friend in the window. She had brought her other daughter after the one invited to my party had such a great time. the older woman (other owner) I never met was there, I untraced myself and she told me “OH ARE YOU THE PARTY LADY” and went on to tell me it was horrendous and a fire hazard and too many people were in the room. She said her staff were traumatised with stress and had to be paid extra due to this and the fact they had to stay and clear up after us (where actually I ended up happily hosting the party and completely cleared up. Plus took everything downstairs and boxed things which they would usually have to do). I tried to keep her voice down as the lady behind attended the party and it was awkward. I’ve gone home quite frazzled and stressed. This is somewhere we love
to go. We made it clear on numbers from the start and they were happy
to take our money and book in. What do I do from here? Offer to pay the staff? I’m worried to book again and we really enjoy it here. Thanks in advance x

It's a read receipt, not a turd in the post. Calm down.

Fire regs and insurance were compromised.
She would have been wiped out if someone had been injured or died if there'd been an incident.
Did every child have an adult with them? So there were 13 kids, plus yours, plus 14 adults in a room insured as suitable for (say) 20 people?
Not surprising she was upset.

Forget it, move on……not your fault that the management/business structure of the venue is in complete amateurish chaos!
They should display legal room occupancy notices surely? Sounds like a two bit business struggling with legal implications to me.

They sound very unprofessional. Go back if your dd enjoys it though. Unlikely to be mentioned again. If it does say "yeah you told me that the other week, don't worry wont happen again"

Probably the most normal response thankyou 😂

Look, it was a kids party. Clearly some miscommunication, but it’s done now, and you’ve made your point. Draw a line and move on.

They were a bit over dramatic and downright lied if they said they had to clear up and you say they didn’t. I would be sending a complaint for unprofessional behaviour and suggest they put a maximum number of people the room will hold so this doesn’t happen in the future. Then forget it.

Just cut them off with "We've discussed this before and it was resolved". Although I wouldn't be going there too often if that's the approach they take.

@ComtesseDeSpair
"I’m not surprised they were annoyed with you: for fire safety reasons the room has a maximum capacity, you over-invited and thus it was above capacity. You feeling uncomfortable about having to have this explained to you doesn’t mean that they were wrong to do so."

The booking conditions clearly stated a minimum of ten and no maximum. The OP also informed the owner on two seperate occasions of the number attending. The fact that the owner suggested a client should help evacuate in the event of fire (along with their obviously chaotic system of taking bookings) tells me this venue should be investigated by the Health & Safety Executive.

They just need to say what is the maximum number of people they'll allow. Very easy fix for them and absolutely not your problem.

(I haver to say there is quite a big difference between 10 4-year-olds plus a couple of adults and 13 4-year-olds plus 13 adults in what I'm assuming is one of those sweaty party rooms in a soft play...)

I’m sorry but if you think yourself described the room ‘was a slight squeeze” and considering the party was for 4-5 year olds so likely kids running around - then there were too many people and likely went over fire and safety room numbers.
the min is not the min you can take - its the min you pay for. So if you invited 9 you would still pay for 10.
I think thought to be fair to you the owners should have said no more than X people in the room at a time that’s what we are insured for sort of thing

Then they should stipulate the maximum number of persons for that room before someone books. Young children will be accompanied by parents, some children have additional needs that means a parent will always be present.

This is what happens when there are wishy washy comments by the staff before it was booked and when everyone was admitted. They didn't say specifically that the room can only accommodate 20 people or whatever.

Having been to many of these parties, the room usually had a notice both inside and outside about the maximum occupancy and the place advertised the different rooms and how many people they could accommodate in total. All very clear.

They need to state if there is a maximum, it is standard for a parent to stay at that age. They will have repeat of this issue unless they make it clear. Horrible and rude, I would be telling everyone I knew!

Careful, your misogyny is showing.

No one was running around. It was a craft party.

If they said minimum ten but no maximum, I wouldn’t expect a kids party with parents to be over booked. If there is a maximum, they should state it.

Sorry 13 kids including mine. And some kids were siblings so only had 1 parent

I wouldn't expect a reply. You have set out your position. They will no doubt just have read it and shrugged.

Try not to dwell on it. It's no longer worth your headspace.

I think these people have confused the meanings of 'minimum' and 'maximum'.

Agree. You are overthinking it, the time to have had that conversation was when she was banging on at you. Just because someone says something doesn’t mean they are right, framing it as being told off makes me think you’ve got a bit of a backstory people pleaser/ over explainer? Doesn’t like people to think you have done something wrong?

The venue owners should have been clear about the maximum capacity for the room and stuck to it. That's not difficult - they could even add 'parents accompanying children must be counted in the maximum total' to avoid any doubt.

Their vagueness has caused this issue and they have behaved unprofessionally about the whole thing.

Ah craft party makes a little more sense, as I find these tend to be marketed at older children where parents don't stay (apart from the organizer). They still should have stated a maximum though. The venue I booked for DD's party stated maximum of 5 adults, but as she's 10 that wasn't a problem as everyone dropped off. If she'd been 5 I'd have read that and booked elsewhere.

I'd be going through them for their shitty attitude and correcting the blatant lies their 'traumatised' staff had fed them.

Thankyou. I thought it was all done too until I got an earful this morning in the shop. Anyway I can’t change anything

Ah craft party makes a little more sense, as I find these tend to be marketed at older children where parents don't stay (apart from the organizer). They still should have stated a maximum though. The venue I booked for DD's party stated maximum of 5 adults, but as she's 10 that wasn't a problem as everyone dropped off. If she'd been 5 I'd have read that and booked elsewhere.