The venue told me off twice now on front of guests AIBU?

[StressedPartyFail]

There is a venue near my house that we visit regularly. They also host children’s parties in a room upstairs. My child really likes it here and wanted her birthday. No issue. I got a leaflet and said 10 children minimum, I booked and decided to invite 13, to make sure we hit the target room booking number in case a couple couldn’t come.
anyway, went to a different event there and spoke to the owner, (it’s owned by an older woman and her adult daughter, I was speaking to the adult daughter during all interactions so far). She mentioned that due to room size it was best that only
children came and had to be dropped off. The children attending are age 4-5 so I said it wouldn’t be appropriate and that parents would be staying. She said, “I totally understand. I have kids too”. No issue. Ned time I came in the same conversation was repeated.

fast forward to party day, it was on a weekend therefore it was 2 members of staff I had never met. Went up to party room and everyone invited had turned up. It was a slight squeeze but no drama, everyone had a great time. 10
mins in a member of staff working there came up and said loudly
in front of guests, “this is a fire hazard there are too many people in here. We can’t get in to do our job properly”. I asked to speak to her out of the room and away from the guests as it was quite embarrassing! She said she had to ring manager (adult daughter owner). I went back to the party room and a dad awkwardly said he could leave but his daughter would have to come if there were issues. I’m not sure how many others clocked on to this situation. Manager rang and asked to speak to me, she said on the phone that it was more people than recommended but if I was willing to help evacuate during a fire it was fine. All ok. Other weekend member of staff very apologetic but had made things awkward. Dad who offered to leave called her dramatic so he realised her tone. I felt on edge for the rest of the party but everyone seemed to have a great time.

A week later, (this morning) I bobbed in seeing a friend in the window. She had brought her other daughter after the one invited to my party had such a great time. the older woman (other owner) I never met was there, I untraced myself and she told me “OH ARE YOU THE PARTY LADY” and went on to tell me it was horrendous and a fire hazard and too many people were in the room. She said her staff were traumatised with stress and had to be paid extra due to this and the fact they had to stay and clear up after us (where actually I ended up happily hosting the party and completely cleared up. Plus took everything downstairs and boxed things which they would usually have to do). I tried to keep her voice down as the lady behind attended the party and it was awkward. I’ve gone home quite frazzled and stressed. This is somewhere we love
to go. We made it clear on numbers from the start and they were happy
to take our money and book in. What do I do from here? Offer to pay the staff? I’m worried to book again and we really enjoy it here. Thanks in advance x

Edited because my Friday brain clearly didn’t read the OP properly!

They all sound totally unprofessional and it reminds me of a woman I used to work for (that was also a family run business) who would scream at customers and then wonder why they never came back. You were not advised of a maximum capacity and the idea that her staff were traumatised and she had to pay them extra is just pure gaslighting on her part. She’s trying to blame you for her own lack of management skills. She sounds deranged and I wouldn’t give her my business again

They sound unprofessional not giving you a maximum number of people. However was it really only 1 parent per child or are we talking 20 odd adults plus the 13 kids? I would have thought for a craft party a few could have dropped off its not like they were running riot. When my son had parties at that age only mums I knew would stay classmates etc would just drop off and the 3 or 4 adults would keep an eye on the kids

I don't mean to be rude because I haven't read all of the replies. Having worked in a venue that deals with party bookings, including children's parties you should have had to read and sign the terms and conditions of your booking. It would have clearly stated a maximum capacity. There is no way any reputable venue would allow you to book based on the information on a flyer. A booking form would have had to be filled in. It sounds like the manager was not forceful enough with her verbal communication about the booking initially, but I don't think you are telling the full story.

1star review or a complaint to whoever gives their certification for safety will sort their behaviours once and for all !

I wouldn’t engage with them any more. I assume it’s a kind of pottery place? We have one similar in my town. If they mention it again if you go there, say something along the line of “yeah, you should really sort your fire safety policy out so your customers are safe”. Don’t keep apologising as you’ve done nothing wrong. Push it back onto them.

I think I would be tempted at this point to practice some assertive responses just in case they mention it again.

"Yes. Thank you. I heard you the first time."

"Perhaps your staff need to communicate with each other as it was cleared with X."

"Funny, I cleared up myself, can you let me know which member of staff it was that said they had to clear up after me? We could speak to them together and they can let me know what I missed "

"Your Insta post states X, member of staff stated X, so could you be clear on which of those versions I should believe then, for future reference?"

They sound as if they need to work on their customer service skills, to be honest.

Yes they should have respectfully, requested quietly, to converse in a compassionate manner, on a 1 2 1 basis
If they told you the numbers were ok, at the start, they shouldn't then go back on their word
Seems like they handled this immensely unprofessionally
God Bless You&Yours
I'm sure they won't be bringing it up again, because the problem predominantly lies with them agreeing the number 1 minute then changing their minds - They should feel embarrassed by the inconsistency in their supposed rules-
You're not responsible for that & I'm sure they won't wish to continuously embarrass a well valued, good paying loyal customer either! How would that make them look if they dared to do so?
Wishing You&Yours All The Utmost Very Best 💚

Yes, excellent comment & response, full of supportive, profound suggestions
If I was the original commenter I'd be delighted with your most helpful comment Helen 🙏
I'm sure in life, we'll all at some point need to practice this kind of awesome assertiveness with someone we'll meet 💚

Unless the staff happened to have had a past experience of being in, or having to coordinate an evacuation of, a crowded room during a fire, they were not ‘traumatised’. They had an understandably stressful shift due to the incompetence of one of their managers. Misuse of the word trauma annoys me.

I don’t have a lot of patience with exaggeration, and I would have made my feelings clear to the woman when she raised this and expected that to be the end of it.

OP this is not your fault, and I wouldn’t give them a penny extra.

If you've not spoken to the older owner before about it and she wasn't at the party, is it possible that she's thinking of a different party (with more people)? Especially if the bit about the clearing up doesn't match up with yours?

Wow, all that faff for a party? I wouldn't bother with there again. I'd find a different venue (chain play centres tend to be better than independently owned ones, as they have clear policies outlined and usually more staff, and less cliquey). If the minimum is 10 but 13 is deemed a dangerous amount, it must mean 11.5 children precisely is the right amount for a booking! Seems they were put out to go over that amount. Not very flexible, not very welcoming, not very practical (no space for parents), not to be recommended.

To be honest, I would have had a problem with it too!
Being publicly humiliated - not once, but twice. Staff histrionics about being traumatised. WTF?
Most kids party venues state a MINIMUM of 10 guests. This is standard, but if the management can't be arsed to clearly stipulate the regulations regarding max capacity then it's on them.

But the OP was never told any of this. There was no max.

Yes immensely profound points 💚

Is it pottery painting? The owners of the one near us are like this. Very unprofessional.

I imagine parents who were with their children at the party and witnessed this may think twice about hiring the venue after the way OP was spoken to.

All it would have taken was a quite word in the OP's ear.

edited for typos

I think you should ask where the guidance was stated? Perhaps say that you were able to reduce numbers by clearing the rooms yourself/tidying etc.

I wouldn’t go back anymore OP - it would leave a bad taste. But I guess it depends how much you all love it.

Tbh OP I wouldn't think on it. In fact I'd be concerned about allowing my young child into a venue that doesn't seem to have even a basic understanding of fire safety. If the room is that small then they should be very clear at the point of booking what the maximum number of people allowed is. This is on them not you. Health and safety is their responsibility.

I don't think you're aware of the wide variety of standards that are in play in small businesses around the UK.

After what happened with Grenfell, all businesses should have a strict adherence to the legislation and an effective procedure in place to implement the rules.

You said you were told there was a minimum number for the booking, but we're you given a maximum?
Just asking.

YANBU and I wouldn't return until there was a change of management.
As another poster commented further up thread, post an honest review online too.
Their demeanor and behaviour is unacceptable.

Honestly I would give them a review online. I would also be telling the person who’s being dramatic and unprofessional to tone it down and pack in. There’s no need to make you feel stressed during your child’s party especially being a regular customer. They’re not helping themselves getting more custom if they’re carrying on about their stress levels and getting paid extra for hosting a party they were paid to do! Sounds like they can’t handle being professional and being a good host.