The venue told me off twice now on front of guests AIBU?

[StressedPartyFail]

There is a venue near my house that we visit regularly. They also host children’s parties in a room upstairs. My child really likes it here and wanted her birthday. No issue. I got a leaflet and said 10 children minimum, I booked and decided to invite 13, to make sure we hit the target room booking number in case a couple couldn’t come.
anyway, went to a different event there and spoke to the owner, (it’s owned by an older woman and her adult daughter, I was speaking to the adult daughter during all interactions so far). She mentioned that due to room size it was best that only
children came and had to be dropped off. The children attending are age 4-5 so I said it wouldn’t be appropriate and that parents would be staying. She said, “I totally understand. I have kids too”. No issue. Ned time I came in the same conversation was repeated.

fast forward to party day, it was on a weekend therefore it was 2 members of staff I had never met. Went up to party room and everyone invited had turned up. It was a slight squeeze but no drama, everyone had a great time. 10
mins in a member of staff working there came up and said loudly
in front of guests, “this is a fire hazard there are too many people in here. We can’t get in to do our job properly”. I asked to speak to her out of the room and away from the guests as it was quite embarrassing! She said she had to ring manager (adult daughter owner). I went back to the party room and a dad awkwardly said he could leave but his daughter would have to come if there were issues. I’m not sure how many others clocked on to this situation. Manager rang and asked to speak to me, she said on the phone that it was more people than recommended but if I was willing to help evacuate during a fire it was fine. All ok. Other weekend member of staff very apologetic but had made things awkward. Dad who offered to leave called her dramatic so he realised her tone. I felt on edge for the rest of the party but everyone seemed to have a great time.

A week later, (this morning) I bobbed in seeing a friend in the window. She had brought her other daughter after the one invited to my party had such a great time. the older woman (other owner) I never met was there, I untraced myself and she told me “OH ARE YOU THE PARTY LADY” and went on to tell me it was horrendous and a fire hazard and too many people were in the room. She said her staff were traumatised with stress and had to be paid extra due to this and the fact they had to stay and clear up after us (where actually I ended up happily hosting the party and completely cleared up. Plus took everything downstairs and boxed things which they would usually have to do). I tried to keep her voice down as the lady behind attended the party and it was awkward. I’ve gone home quite frazzled and stressed. This is somewhere we love
to go. We made it clear on numbers from the start and they were happy
to take our money and book in. What do I do from here? Offer to pay the staff? I’m worried to book again and we really enjoy it here. Thanks in advance x

Fire safety or maximum capacity was never mentioned during the booking or when I went in. She just said it would be a squeeze or she’d recommend parents not staying. Nothing official, which implied to me that as long as we were comfortable it was ok

If they bring it up again, tell them they’re booking conditions need to be a bit clearer since it’s normal for parents to stay at 4-5 year old parties.

@StressedPartyFail "I said I saw their point completely and I hope they see mine."

They haven't got a point OP! They are in breach of health & Safety as well as fire regulations and their own insurance. It sounds as though they (dangerously) haven't got a clue what they're doing. To even suggest that you act as some sort of fire warden is actually in breach of the law and so is not clearly stating maximum capacities. Personally I'd be reporting them not trying to be nice to them.

i would be writing a letter to her pointing out all you’ve said in this post. If you are a regular customer and obviously have friends who are too she will not want it spread around that she is unreasonable.
I frankly do think a parent for every child is over the top - I’d have said one parent for three or four kids especially as there were two staff helping.

But parents were staying too.
I can see their POV and if there was a fire or emergency, the venue owners would be liable

I'd print out the conversation and go in and ask which part about "they're welcome but it'll be a squeeze" can be put on you given they are the only ones complaining and telling you off. They really need to improve their communication or this will easily happen again.

Just forget it OP. And don't go there again. They are clearly incompetent (and liars, saying they had to clean up when you'd already done it).

I do agree their confirmation should include the maximum.

But I think communication error sums this up best.

She thought she was telling you to limit parents as much as possible but that one or two not comfortable with drop off would be okay (she should have communicated this more clearly).

You took this to mean all parents are okay and invited them to stay.

Something here must be a little unusual. They run parties all the time presumably without issue.

Is it that your child is a bit younger than the usual age range?

Drop off is the norm past around five. Or at least it was with my kids.

If the owner has paid them extra (from the OP) presumably they have complained. I absolutely think the owner could have handled this better beforehand or it could have been handled better on the day.

Personally I think she should just apologise to you and acknowledge that while she advised it would be a squeeze with the parents present nobody had actually informed you of any maximum capacity rules here.

I honestly can't see what you've done wrong, you were quite clear from the start about parents attending too.

Don’t pay them a penny. Their inability to communicate & organise a children’s party is their problem, not yours. they should have been clear on min and max numbers (which would not change for different groups). They handled the situation appallingly & were unprofessional.

What an awful place! As well as being rude, & poor communicators, they seem to have a very poor attitude to fire safety- if indeed it was an issue.

This would make me wonder about how responsible they are in terms of other safety issues.

I would tell parent friends of my experience & how stressful & strange I found it - as personally I would think twice about allowing a young child to attend a party at such a disorganised place.

You did nothing wrong.

Is it the sort of place where the party room is usually used by older children ie those whose parents wouldn’t necessarily want/need to stay with them for the duration of the party? If so, that could have contributed to the mix-up. I agree with the consensus that it wasn’t great communication on either side. The venue should have provided better details of maximum numbers (including participants and spectators), but you should have also asked about total capacity when making initial enquiries about booking the space. Once they had said it was better if the adults didn’t stay, I would have been really explicit about confirmed numbers (not just saying parents would stay, but also confirming the number of parents) and asking them to confirm the full party could be accommodated. It sounds like they didn’t handle it well with you during and after the party but it probably could have been avoided with better communication (from both sides) beforehand.

I know my daughter and lots of her 5 year old friends love it there. When booking the enquiry was titled “5 year old party” so they were aware when booking and were aware throughout parents would be attending.

A bit of a squeeze is a completely unprofessional response.
They either can cater for the booking our not.
Health and safety is not optional.
They sound extremely unprofessional.

You have every right to be annoyed at being lectured to.
They took the booking.
They shouldn't have taken it if it is a drop your children place only.

You have every right to write that on their page.
They sound like they don't know their arse from their elbow.
Hard swerve.

Don't offer to pay the staff; as far as I can tell you haven't been asked or requested to do that (and you paid what you were quoted based on an honest assessment of your event). This is a communication issue and it's not completely clear if the breakdown was between Owner A (adult daughter) and you, between Owner A and Owner B (mother), and/or between A and the staff. But the behaviour you've described from staff at the party and from B afterwards are unprofessional. I'm not sure which owner you emailed/which replied to your email but my message to A would be that the two instances of people associated with her business (employee(s) on the day, B afterwards) berating you in public are unacceptable. She may be confused by what you want or expect now; if it's just to let her know about the unprofessional behaviour so that she can address it internally, I'd tell her that. If you specifically want an apology or compensation, be clear.

Personally, I'd leave it but probably skip using them again and consider writing an honest review (unless perhaps A comes back to you and seems too understand the issue and plans to address it internally), but don't prevent your daughter from going if she's invited to another event there.

Leave it, they were in the wrong not you. Take your business away from this unprofessional lot.

I’m a fire warden in my area i work in a museum and there’s actually a lot to it , you need to watch a video and do what many would call a quiz and if you get the questions wrong you don’t get passed, yes the staff should have contacted the owner you are not to blame you should never have been asked to step up to the role

If it's brought up again just say stop being so ridiculous. Personally I would leave a poor review and never go there again. There are plenty of businesses around who smile when they take your money and say thank you.

OP - if this is a place you use a lot and want to go back, my suggestion is just leave it now.

it’s their business - you’re the one who will suffer if they ask you not to return or you feel too awkward.

there’s not much value in being right if you stop stop yourself from being able to visit somewhere you enjoy,

it probably could have been avoided with better communication (from both sides) beforehand

OP stated there would be 13 children plus parents. How else was she supposed to tell them there would be 13 children plus parents?

She was told it was okay but a squeeze, which it was and which she was happy with.

What exactly was unclear in OP's communication?

Then they need to state the maximum numbers for the room when people book.

At no point have they given the OP a maximum figure: just woolly comments like "they're welcome, but it'll be a squeeze"

They're a wholly unprofessional outfit who choose to compromise safety for the sake of keeping a booking, and are now attempting to pass the blame (because their staff are annoyed) onto the OP.

They're thoroughly unprofessional and they couldn't organise a proverbial in the proverbial. They need to get their policy straight between the two of them. If that other member of staff acted as she did because of pressure from them, they need to sort that out too; and if she acted as she did independently, she needs booting out further training.

I’d leave a review saying lovely venue but poor communication and not ideal for younger children as it’s preferred parents dont stay

Don't go there again. They sound unprofessional and disorganised so give it a miss. Find so where else. There must be other fun places.