Was I wrong to say it’s inappropriate for her to ask for my number?

[Ishoulddomore]

I was at a wedding today and the drink flowed a little.

The daughter of along time friend asked me for my number. I’ve known her for years and she hasn’t asked me before. She’s 23 and I’m 49. I said no and told her it’s inappropriate as she can ask her dad how I’m doing or to arrange a group meet up. Not sure why else she would want my number.

The thing is I think I’ve upset her by suggesting something that I don’t think she meant. She’s had issues in the past and I didn’t mean her any upset.

Did I do the right thing or was I unreasonable?

A non interaction involving a young woman being dissected on a message board. Am I the only one who can see this post for what it is??

Probably getting off to these comments let’s be honest.

Definitely did the right thing. If she had been asking as she was planning a party for her dad (as a PP suggested) the she would have replied “steady on Steve, I just need it to add you to the party WhatsApp group!”

Hope I caught a few with this as that comment was bonkers! She’s old enough to be my daughter and one of my best mates actual daughter. What goes on in world of thought/life ?

I’m sorry but this is a sad man living out a fantasy and you are all falling for it 😂. I’m sure most men are wrecking their brains with guilt at midnight over non interactions at weddings.

Interesting, and tbh you could be right. I could be totally wrong and tbh I think might have and that’s why I’ve called myself a lemon on this thread and I’m horrified. God knows what I’m going to say to someone I care about deeply and might of really pissed off. That’s what I’m asking for advice!

Oops

lol. Some people are unreal. He does the responsible thing and doesn’t take the number of a drunk young woman who could be his daughter in age and is hugging him (so she is the one who is coming on to him) and suddenly he is the creep. Of course it’s not innocuous to get shitfaced, hug your dad’s mate and ask for his number, whether or not your boyfriend is there.

Yes

Strange, so she has access to your number?

I'm going against the flow but you were clear with her. You said she had been clingy and you're married and there's no reason to encourage her by giving her your number.

She wanted to text you outside a group and you felt that was inappropriate and said so. There's no problem with that. Maybe she'll think next time before she gets clingy with a married man and wants to start texting him.

If she wanted to add you to a group chat thing, she could have asked her dad to add you.

Why would it be inappropriate to ask?

Fair enough, don’t give it out but what’s wrong with asking for it?

Sorry you feel that way. I’m up later than expected and genuinely asking. I’ve interacted more than I thought tonight to get opinions, sorry if you feel that way. I’m reading and taking all views in and hoping to learn

Why didn't you start your OP by stating that you're a man? You've confused a lot of people who assume you're female.

Is that possible? I didn’t know that was a thing to do.

Does it matter?

Then why does she need to ask for your number?

The chat will have your number listed 🤔

Given the context, I think you did exactly the right thing. If she had wanted your number for say finding out about job prospects or something innocuous she would have prefaced the request with that. As a 49 year old man, I think people would have been pretty suspicious about why you were chatting to a clingy 23 year old with a boyfriend.

Cause this whole thing is made up. What saddo cares this much about something so minuscule. If my dad starred this thread and engaged with it so much I’d be appalled. Poor op twisting himself in knots!

You are 49 years old. Come on. Drinks were flowing. You know what that means. You do not think about or mention this ever again. It means nothing, do not make a drama out of nothing. Sober up, move on, and don't create any unecessary drama. Do not mention it, stop thinking about it, move on.

If that’s I thing then it’s even more weird

Are you married OP? Becuase if I was your wife I would think it was highly inappropriate.

I think you did the right thing OP. It would be inappropriate for my dh to take the number of one of our friend's daughter unless there was a specific reason to do so such as organising something like a birthday.

She was drunk. You are the grown up. Just let it go.

I get that. I just don’t know what to say the next time I see her. I feel awful for being a grown up and not handling it better

If she made you uncomfortable, then I think you were quite right to establish your boundary this way. It leaves no room for misinterpretation. Good for you.