Bedroom dilemma

[soniiaa]

Me and DP are moving in together and we don’t know how to sort out the bedrooms. It’s a 4 bed house.

I have -
DS11 (is with me 90% of the time)
DD18 (is at uni but stays with me 100% of the holidays)

DP has -
DS16 (with him every weekend and every school holiday)
DS19 (with him ad hoc - maybe once or twice a week)

DP would ideally like his kids to have their own rooms, but then so would I. Maybe this is unreasonable with DD being at uni? Would really appreciate peoples thoughts!

It sounds like DP's DSs will need to share.

Get a 5 bed, that’s the only way it will work

Could the three boys have their own room and two of them (probably your partner’s children) share when your DD comes back. I know you anticipate every holiday but I suspect it won’t be long before she won’t return that frequently.

You should probably have worked this out before you bought a 4 bed house. You need a 5 bed. It won’t work with any of them sharing. Someone will be resentful.

You need a 5 bed. That is the only way.

Agree DP's boys will need to share. I wouldn't leave an 18 year old at Uni without a bedroom to come back to

Just to add - we haven’t bought the house yet. We can’t afford a 5 bed.

DPs Ds’s share when your daughter is back from uni. Otherwise the one that is there the least uses her room and has some space to leave things in there

Younger two get a room each, spare room for older two that come in holidays. Possibly also a trundle in his DS' room in case the two older ones visit at the same time?

Has your DS and DD stayed at DP’s house? Has his DS stayed at yours? How’s the bedroom arrangement worked so far?

I presume there isn’t a handy second reception room downstairs that you haven’t mentioned?
otherwise, I guess the only real solution, and it’s not great still but the best given the circumstances, is for all the boys to have their own room but one (a SS realistically) to give theirs up when DD is home.

DPs two are both boys and a similar age so makes sense for them to share. You and expect your 18 year old DD to share with her 11 year old brother! But you really need a 5 bed. If you’ve not exchanged contracts yet I would consider pulling out of the purchase.

Or I suppose like a ‘floating’ spare room. Used by either of the occasional kids as needed?

Then you will need to find a house with a dining room or study that can be converted into a bedroom.

DS16 has the largest “kids” room, with the ability to have an extra bed when needed.
DS11 has the next largest “kids” room
The final room is a guest room for DS19 and DD18 to use. If they both want to stay at the same time then DS19 bunks in with DS16 (hence him having the bigger room).

I think the actual problem for me is that DD wouldn’t have a bedroom of her own when she came home. She doesn’t even have a bed or sofa bed at her dad’s house which is why she doesn’t visit him anymore. But I’m also very aware that there can’t be a spare room for 60% of the year while she is away!

This is sensible.

But making kids share rooms is basically child abuse on Mumsnet for some reason just so you know what kind of answers to expect.

I couldn’t imagine telling my 18 yr old DD she no longer has a permanent bedroom/home because I want to move in with my boyfriend.

She needs a room that is hers. But to accept others will use it as a spare room when she isn’t around.

Exactly how I feel!

You should be buying a house big enough for everyone to have their own room.

As other people have mentioned i would have looked for a 4 bedroom house with separate dining room/garage that could be used as a 5th bedroom.

This a thousand times over.

You do know it's within your power not to move in with your boyfriend.

Of course dp‘s sons will need to share.

I feel sorry for kids in these blended familes all of a sudden having to share because their parent wants to live with whomever. They didn't ask for any of what has happened to them. At least get a house with a reception room that can be converted. Especially with adult children not affording to move out after uni.