Page 25 | Bedroom dilemma

soniiaa · 2025-10-10T20:19:48+00:00

Me and DP are moving in together and we don’t know how to sort out the bedrooms. It’s a 4 bed house. I have - DS11 (is with me 90% of the time) DD18 (is at uni but stays with me 100% of the holidays) DP has - DS16 (with him every weekend and every school holiday) DS19 (with him ad hoc - maybe once or twice a week) DP would ideally like his kids to have their own rooms, but then so would I. Maybe this is unreasonable with DD being at uni? Would really appreciate peoples thoughts!

thewalrus3 · 14/10/2025 11:40

slushgrey · 14/10/2025 11:18

Yes, you do indeed appear to have clear and unresolved issues. The venom is in your poisonous mind. Facts don't care how you feel.

Seek therapy, or have another gin, or whatever. 😅😃

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😂😂😂😂

slushgrey · 14/10/2025 11:45

thewalrus3 · 14/10/2025 11:40

😂😂😂😂

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😂😆😅😂😘

slushgrey · 14/10/2025 11:47

slushgrey · 14/10/2025 08:56

I've just had a thought - given the dates and timelines the woman who wrote this had a 3 year old child when she started shagging this man. I wonder how fast she started having sleep overs with an man unrelated to her kids and how fast she started forcing her kids to play happily families. I'd lay odds that she's been angling to get him down the aisle and coercing her kids into being Jan and Marcia for a long time. Poor little girls.

Willing to do whatever it takes to keep her man and keep him happy, and if her kids have to be unhappy - oh well. It's all a bit sad and gross and pathetic

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So yeah, 3 or 4 years old and mummy was just desperate for a boyfriend. Hanging on to him for 7 years, finally getting him down the aisle - well, maybe. But at least she can finally get him to live with her.

Nothing will stand in the OPs way now.

But at least she had to hear a few home truths before she fled 😅

RubySquid · 14/10/2025 11:52

slushgrey · 14/10/2025 08:56

I've just had a thought - given the dates and timelines the woman who wrote this had a 3 year old child when she started shagging this man. I wonder how fast she started having sleep overs with an man unrelated to her kids and how fast she started forcing her kids to play happily families. I'd lay odds that she's been angling to get him down the aisle and coercing her kids into being Jan and Marcia for a long time. Poor little girls.

Willing to do whatever it takes to keep her man and keep him happy, and if her kids have to be unhappy - oh well. It's all a bit sad and gross and pathetic

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Wtf are you going on about?

RubySquid · 14/10/2025 11:55

MissScarletInTheBallroom · 13/10/2025 23:12

Bloody hell, another one.

How long do you think they should wait?

At this rate, by the time Mumsnet permits them to move in together it'll be time for them to retire and downsize.

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I never did move in with my DSs dad. Obviously faithfully followed all the MN rules lol. Id been with him since DD was 3

slushgrey · 14/10/2025 11:58

RubySquid · 14/10/2025 11:52

Wtf are you going on about?

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Wtf are you going on about?

RubySquid · 14/10/2025 12:02

slushgrey · 14/10/2025 11:58

Wtf are you going on about?

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Your ramble about getting a boyfriend with a 3 year old

thewalrus3 · 14/10/2025 12:03

slushgrey · 14/10/2025 11:47

So yeah, 3 or 4 years old and mummy was just desperate for a boyfriend. Hanging on to him for 7 years, finally getting him down the aisle - well, maybe. But at least she can finally get him to live with her.

Nothing will stand in the OPs way now.

But at least she had to hear a few home truths before she fled 😅

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You really are making yourself look quite bonkers now.

slushgrey · 14/10/2025 12:04

RubySquid · 14/10/2025 12:02

Your ramble about getting a boyfriend with a 3 year old

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Ah, reading comprehension is not your strong point I see.

No ramble. Facts that were very easy indeed to follow.

thewalrus3 · 14/10/2025 12:12

slushgrey · 14/10/2025 12:04

Ah, reading comprehension is not your strong point I see.

No ramble. Facts that were very easy indeed to follow.

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Genuine question - do you truly believe your opinion and interpretation of someone else’s life is an actual fact? As in it can’t be disputed and you can’t possibly be wrong?

slushgrey · 14/10/2025 12:17

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thewalrus3 · 14/10/2025 12:54

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Arse handed to me? Not by a ranting lunatic, you’ll have to do better than that.

Im 90% certain you are the poster from earlier with a new name. The ranting, language, and self assurance of your opinions being facts are incredibly similar. If you have created a new account just to come back and spout the same bile under a different name it’s absolutely tragic.

And bless your heart for not being able to answer a simple question.

slushgrey · 14/10/2025 13:59

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Zonder · 14/10/2025 23:23

thewalrus3 · 14/10/2025 09:38

Wow. Another person with clear unresolved issues. The level of venom in your post is really quite concerning.

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Well said. There's some olympic sized jumps in their post!

thewalrus3 · 15/10/2025 09:15

Zonder · 14/10/2025 23:23

Well said. There's some olympic sized jumps in their post!

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Definitely the same poster from before just with a different name. How embarrassing for them.

LimeGalah · 16/10/2025 09:32

Rosscameasdoody · 13/10/2025 11:13

Where did OP say her DP’s kids are both home regularly. The older one only visits once or twice a week and at 19 it’s only going to get less. The 16 year old is there at weekends and school holidays, so realistically you’re going to have two rooms standing empty most of the time. It’s not unreasonable to ask two siblings of the same sex to share the biggest room so that the other two siblings who are different sexes can have their own rooms. For OP’s kids this is their only home - their dad doesn’t have a bed for them - while DP’s two have their own rooms at their mum’s so it’s not as though they never have privacy, and the younger one will have the room to himself most of the time anyway.

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Weekly IS regularly. As is weekends.

Don’t get involved with someone who shares custody if you can’t accept a kid having two homes. That’s the point of shared custody - the children being passed back and forth between two homes but where each home is meant to be, and feel like, their home.

I ses nothing but resentment coming from insisting your children need their own rooms but his children do not. Doesn’t matter how you rationalise it - you need to think about how the kids will feel about it. I would be completely unsurprised if the partner’s kids stopped visiting. Knowing my own personality - I would feel my father was choosing his new family over me, that I was tolerated but not wanted, and I’d probably stop going round. Maybe those boys are a lot more tolerant (and confident) than me and it wouldn’t bother them, or wouldn’t impact their relationship even if they weren’t happy.

thewalrus3 · 16/10/2025 11:47

LimeGalah · 16/10/2025 09:32

Weekly IS regularly. As is weekends.

Don’t get involved with someone who shares custody if you can’t accept a kid having two homes. That’s the point of shared custody - the children being passed back and forth between two homes but where each home is meant to be, and feel like, their home.

I ses nothing but resentment coming from insisting your children need their own rooms but his children do not. Doesn’t matter how you rationalise it - you need to think about how the kids will feel about it. I would be completely unsurprised if the partner’s kids stopped visiting. Knowing my own personality - I would feel my father was choosing his new family over me, that I was tolerated but not wanted, and I’d probably stop going round. Maybe those boys are a lot more tolerant (and confident) than me and it wouldn’t bother them, or wouldn’t impact their relationship even if they weren’t happy.

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The overwhelming advice here is to give her 11 year old a bedroom because he is there all of the time. And also the 16 year old (who is her partners) should get the biggest room to enable him to share with his brother who is there once a week. But only during times when the guest room is occupied by her daughter who cannot share because she is the only female. Otherwise the 19 year old would get the guest room.

So really that makes a fair situation whereby all kids get their own space apart from the odd occasion where they are all there at the same time and the two biological brothers share the largest room.

It’s not that deep.

Shelleyblueeyes · 15/04/2026 20:39

We were in a similar situation and I couldn't believe it when a 5 bed house came up in our budget. We had to go 5 mins or so out of our preferred area and admittedly sometimes I am sad that I had to compromise on that but on the whole I am really pleased that we have got the space that everyone needs (3 sons and our grandson lives here too).
So please check Rightmove for 5 beds and see how far away you would have to go to get the space you need.

Good luck!

Blondeshavemorefun · 15/04/2026 21:16

It is now next year @soniiaa. Wedding bells

what did you decide on ?

my solution

1 you and dp/dh

2 your ds 11

3 partners 2 kids sharing as one only stays 1-2 times a week which may not be when other son stays at weekend

4 smallest room - your daughters

older step son can either sleep in dd room when at uni and share with brother in holidays