Page 8 | To be sick and tired of DP’s requests?

Newjob25 · 2025-10-09T17:05:42+00:00

We are two years in, and every time we are going to be intimate, DP asks me to dress up in something. Started off with lingerie, now it’s ’oh do you have any leather’, or if we are watching TV - ‘do you have some boots like her for later’. The odd occasion - absolutely fine. But it’s become a chore now. He said I should feel sexy getting dressed up and seeing how much he enjoys it. AIBU to say enough is enough?

Heartyredbeaker56 · 09/10/2025 23:38

Newjob25 · 09/10/2025 21:43

This is genuinely the only issue (albeit it’s became a big one!)

I am going to have to tell him that tomorrow is the last time. On the odd occasion when I want to, then maybe I will do so. But there will be no more requests, and I’ll decide when I’m comfortable to do so.

I somehow hadn’t really cottoned on to the fact that him telling me where he’s got ideas from was him getting somewhat turned on by other women. The office is one example. He has made comments about gym leggings, and an estate agent who valued his flat in ‘tight’ trousers - these would always give him ‘ideas’.

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Sounds like potential sex pest. He also sounds disgusting and a massive turn off

Bambii102417 · 09/10/2025 23:39

Newjob25 · 09/10/2025 21:43

This is genuinely the only issue (albeit it’s became a big one!)

I am going to have to tell him that tomorrow is the last time. On the odd occasion when I want to, then maybe I will do so. But there will be no more requests, and I’ll decide when I’m comfortable to do so.

I somehow hadn’t really cottoned on to the fact that him telling me where he’s got ideas from was him getting somewhat turned on by other women. The office is one example. He has made comments about gym leggings, and an estate agent who valued his flat in ‘tight’ trousers - these would always give him ‘ideas’.

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WHY ARE YOU DOING IT AGAIN??
This is why he keeps doing it - because you keep saying yes!
You’ve admitted you’ve just worked out his ‘ideas’ are coming from real-world perving sessions - your bar is EXTREMELY low if you just roll over, dig out a pencil skirt from the floor at the back of your wardrobe and say ‘oh go on then, but next time…’.. HE STOPPED LISTENING AFTER ‘GO ON THEN’!
How has even the ‘wank sock’ comment from a PP not awakened you?

WallaceinAnderland · 09/10/2025 23:41

Once again, the bar is low

Tiswa · 09/10/2025 23:43

SpideyVerse · 09/10/2025 22:10

Eurgh.
Seems to me that you've stumbled into obliging him this pattern of behaviour that actively lets him depersonalise you, and use your body as a vessel to imagine having his way with other women he encounters and sexualises day-to-day.
Do you really want to help him do that?

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Yep you are the host for his fantasies

don’t do it tomorrow talk to him about exactly how this makes you feel that he sees a woman fantasies ans then makes you reanct it for him

it is truly awful

ChickpeaCauliflowerSalad · 09/10/2025 23:53

Newjob25 · 09/10/2025 18:47

Thanks all. Yesterday was the final straw I think - he had a rare day in the office and text on his lunch: “idea for Friday. You can tell I’ve not been in HO for a while. Pencil skirt?!”

What did you reply?

'Nah, I don't think it would suit you'

i once had a boyfriend who was into fishnets & boots. I didn't mind at first, but like your situation it became every time & everytime we went out he wanted me to empress them. Then he'd comment on any woman in boots or fishnets. (Oh her boots are amazing, we should try to find some like that.....) let's get some really high ones....

i had to leave him before I strangled him with a single fishnet sticking or attacked him with a boot!!

honeylulu · 09/10/2025 23:53

Revolting.

He isn't turned on by you, only by silly dress up clothes that remind him of other women he's been perving over.

BauhausOfEliott · 09/10/2025 23:57

Bloody hell. I’ve generally been up for indulging people’s fantasies now and again over the years, but being issued with a bloody dress code every time we had a shag? Being told I ‘should’ enjoy it just because he does? No thanks.

Also, it sounds like your boyfriend’s fantasies are incredibly dull. What a mundane, unimaginative little man.

SlimeSuspect · 09/10/2025 23:59

@didntlikeanyofthesuggestions Mr Tumble 😂

HereForWomen · 10/10/2025 00:00

Gotta lotta love for Mr. Tumble, me 😁

TwistedWonder · 10/10/2025 00:06

Creepy porn soaked bloke using you as an unpaid sex worker that he can use as a convenient vagina to indulge his fantasies about other women.

Just no

Lurleenlumpkin79 · 10/10/2025 00:12

Bambii102417 · 09/10/2025 23:39

WHY ARE YOU DOING IT AGAIN??
This is why he keeps doing it - because you keep saying yes!
You’ve admitted you’ve just worked out his ‘ideas’ are coming from real-world perving sessions - your bar is EXTREMELY low if you just roll over, dig out a pencil skirt from the floor at the back of your wardrobe and say ‘oh go on then, but next time…’.. HE STOPPED LISTENING AFTER ‘GO ON THEN’!
How has even the ‘wank sock’ comment from a PP not awakened you?

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Oh no! I missed the part where she said "the last time" until I re-read it just now. 🤦🤦🤦

Onlycoffee · 10/10/2025 00:30

Newjob25 · 09/10/2025 18:47

Thanks all. Yesterday was the final straw I think - he had a rare day in the office and text on his lunch: “idea for Friday. You can tell I’ve not been in HO for a while. Pencil skirt?!”

Wow it really is all about him isn't it, like you're a performing monkey.
All he has to do is make a request.
Or rather an order. How rude.

You are allowed to say no, op. Say no to the pencil skirt. Just because he's said that's what he wants, doesn't mean you have to blindly do it.

Does he genuinely think you enjoy it? How is he likely to react to you shutting it down?

SalonDesRefuses · 10/10/2025 00:53

PyongyangKipperbang · 09/10/2025 22:34

OMG you are giving him "a last time"?!

WHY?

He is a skank, a creep, a fucking manky piece of shit.

If you think that he is all you are worth I am so sorry for you.

RAISE YOUR STANDARDS!

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I must agree wholeheartedly with this.

You DON'T WANT to keep doing this, so why are you going to do it'one last time'?

He's perving on unsuspecting women, including people at work (HR would be pleased, I'm sure), then using you to act out his fantasies.

He is a pervert and things like this remind me that women have to be on guard everywhere. Can't even wear something professional like a pencil skirt to your workplace without some weirdo getting ideas.

thegifttaegieus · 10/10/2025 01:10

Bambii102417 · 09/10/2025 23:39

WHY ARE YOU DOING IT AGAIN??
This is why he keeps doing it - because you keep saying yes!
You’ve admitted you’ve just worked out his ‘ideas’ are coming from real-world perving sessions - your bar is EXTREMELY low if you just roll over, dig out a pencil skirt from the floor at the back of your wardrobe and say ‘oh go on then, but next time…’.. HE STOPPED LISTENING AFTER ‘GO ON THEN’!
How has even the ‘wank sock’ comment from a PP not awakened you?

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This. God, he's a real creep.

ByQuirkyCat · 10/10/2025 01:12

He's not a nice man.

Sugarnspicenallthingsnaice · 10/10/2025 01:34

ThatCyanCat · 09/10/2025 22:41

Is he actually any good in bed?

Of course he fucking isn't. We can all tell.

Hummingbird10 · 10/10/2025 01:38

Are you meant to just have all this garb? This stuff costs a fortune quite apart from anything else. Draining, financially, psychologically and generally. Way too much! Sounds exhausting I hope you’re okay

SomewhatAnnoyed · 10/10/2025 04:35

VoltaireMittyDream · 09/10/2025 18:33

What if it turned out that’s what he’d wanted all along? And OP had to stand there in her kinky boots with her DH rubbing his Gruffalo paws saying ‘you’ll taste good on a slice of bread!’

🤢

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😆😂😂😂😂😂🤣

RampantIvy · 10/10/2025 07:25

newmama2023 · 09/10/2025 19:51

I could of written this myself! I am in the exact same boat! And we are getting married tomorrow

Don't. It will only escalate.
You can do better than this.

ReadingSoManyThreads · 11/10/2025 02:40

How did the pencil skirt go down with Mr. Grim @Newjob25 ?

Has he already put through his next "ideas"?

I hope you give him an 'idea' of looking on rightmove for somewhere else to live.

Balloonhearts · 11/10/2025 20:03

I would ask him, seriously and requiring an answer: 'Why do you think that I should feel sexy listening to you describe other women that you fancy and then being asked to dress up like them? What about that could POSSIBLY make me feel anything but shit?'

I'd insist on an answer and if the relationship did continue, an apology. And I would be very clear that if he ever started this shit again, it would be over. If he's so into women in pencil skirts, he can fuck off and date one.