To be sick and tired of DP’s requests?

[Newjob25]

We are two years in, and every time we are going to be intimate, DP asks me to dress up in something.

Started off with lingerie, now it’s ’oh do you have any leather’, or if we are watching TV - ‘do you have some boots like her for later’.

The odd occasion - absolutely fine. But it’s become a chore now.

He said I should feel sexy getting dressed up and seeing how much he enjoys it.

AIBU to say enough is enough?

Is he similarly enthusiastic about ‘gift wrapping’ himself? If not then I’d say it’s run its course.

Where is he expecting you to magic up some leather and kinky boots from on a whim (his whim!)?
Does he think you're Mr Benn?

Mr Ben lolz

He doesn’t get to say how you ‘should’ feel. Sounds like he’s doing himself out of sex by making it a slog for you.

you simply aren’t compatible and yes it is too much constantly placing his needs front and centre

Fair enough, that's his thing but that would be a massive no for me.

For a start, it would feel too staged and would put me off massively.

I wouldn't stay with him, neither of you are wrong, but you are not compatible (I wouldn't be compatible with him either). If you can't have spontaneous good sex after only 2 years, no point staying anyway.

Start making suggestions for him. The cat from Cat in the Hat. The Gruffalo. Mr Tumble.

He said I should feel sexy getting dressed up and seeing how much he enjoys it

Nothing more attractive than a man telling you how to feel 🙄

YANBU. I wouldn't accept anyone telling me what I should wear, let alone what I should feel sexy in. Does he do anything at all for you?

If after two years he is (apparently) bored of you unless you dress up, I don't think this relationship has much of a future.

Ugh, I'd hate this!

After two years I would've thought he'd know what you've got in your wardrobe?

Do this! At least you’d have a laugh

😂

How do men not realise that expecting this shit every single time makes it a chore, therefore sex is the last thing you want. Do you ever have sex without having to dress up?

I wouldn't even entertain this.

Every time??? Fuck that (or not, obvs)!!

However, you could get him to dress up like Jamie from Outlander or James Bond or something. Do you ever suggest that? I bet his answer is negative…..

Not for the past couple of months

God my ex used to say this and it became such a turn off for me. I felt like he didn’t see the real me. Naked people, are beautiful people. People in jeans and a t shirt, hair a mess, sexy AF. What does he say when you talk about how it’s making you feel?

Urgh. I couldn't be doing with this at all.

Oh for the laugh emoji!

Get rid, you deserve better.

Yeah I'd be telling him straight up that you either have sex without all the dressing up bullshit or he can fuck off and find someone else to do it with. Could not be doing with that at all

I had one like this. I ended up feeling utterly sexually repulsed by him.

He doesn’t get to dictate how you ‘should’ feel about his irritating little demands. You’re not his fucking sex toy.

Honestly I would finish this. What a horrible turn off!

Oh, I didn't realise that was what the 'B' in 'BDSM' stood for.