To be sick and tired of DP’s requests?

[Newjob25]

We are two years in, and every time we are going to be intimate, DP asks me to dress up in something.

Started off with lingerie, now it’s ’oh do you have any leather’, or if we are watching TV - ‘do you have some boots like her for later’.

The odd occasion - absolutely fine. But it’s become a chore now.

He said I should feel sexy getting dressed up and seeing how much he enjoys it.

AIBU to say enough is enough?

Puts me in mind of something DH said to me some 30 years ago. We had lived together 3 years or so, and I said I was sick of doing housework and domestic chores (he never lifted a finger to help.) He said 'you should want to keep your home neat and tidy, you should be proud to tootle around cleaning your home.' I was like >>> and I said 'why does this not apply to you?!' He said 'duh! Because I'm a man!' 🙄

He meant it too. Arsehat. Luckily he grew out of that stage and did do more a few years later, and he still 'helps' now! I know I know!

@Newjob25You need to tell your DP to fuck off. Do NOT marry him and have children with him! He'll be wanting you to go dogging, and swinging next!

Tell him to stop watching porn.

Absolute classic, you legend 😂

There isn't even a hint of the give and take a good sex life requires. That's just him telling you to wear something and fuck if you want to or not. That's not just being taken for granted, it's treating you like an object whose only function is to dress up like he wants.

Put him in the bin!

If he wants something he can dress up to his liking he can get a bloody sex doll!! But that will probably be too much effort for him, bet he doesn’t even change into clean pants before sex!

What a boring fucker. I bet he thinks he's a total stud too, with his super libido. Meanwhile, you're a glorified wank sock.

Grim. There's nothing duller or less sexy than people who need props to get it on. It's the mark of someone with an incredibly limited imagination.

Oh and if there's anything less sexy than being asked to wear clothes from an Ann Summers shopfront it's being told what should turn you on.

I couldn't get past it OP, to be honest.

YANBU you're not a performing seal.

Ewww he’s irritated me and I don’t even know him lol

My ex H started this nonsense and it escalated to demands for group sex swinging etc etc, it’s a slippery slope

Tell him you have no intention of gilding a lily. If he isn’t mature enough to appreciate and feel lucky to have your beautiful body as it is next to his he can fuck right off.

Urgh.
Start telling him to dress up.
Better still, tell him to sod off.

"Pencil skirt is a great idea! Will really suit you. Will you be wearing heels as well? "

Start getting him to wear a suit, tie himself in a ribbon etc etc.

your not a performing monkey

Mr tumble ,just get him a spotty bag😂

Sounds like you're his private escort girl. Minus the pay. Seriously how can anyone put up with this? I would have said no the first time because I don't like playing roles. Nobody has ever asked me to either. Especially the way he goes on about it @Newjob25 this would make me feel like a prostitute. He's a selfish twat and you ought to thow that piece of vile garbage out of your life.

I'd have refused at the first time of asking and if he persisted, he'd have been shown the door.

Dump him.
Or call his bluff and take him to a swingers club, make sure he dresses up though.

Well Mr.benn was never like that when I was a child and if he was id like to think he kept that private.👗👙💄👒👠🤣🤣

OP is he generous in bed or is this indicative of very selfish attitude to sex where it’s all about his desires and you supposedly being fulfilled by gratifying him?

If he isn’t hitting it out of the park in other areas (especially if sex is all about him regardless of the dress up requests), then move on. You’ve voiced your discomfort and he’s not inclined to take any notice at all, gaslighting you about it instead. This is a red flag you need to not ignore.

If he is otherwise generous and the rest of the relationship is working for you I might try a bit of an ultimatum. Something like - this is too dogmatic an approach to sex for me. I don’t want to be constantly acting out some fantasy for you. I’ll do it once a month/quarter/[whatever you think you’d be comfortable with, including not at all or when I feel like it]. I don’t want to hear about it outside that. If you can’t fancy me without me playing up to some fantasy in your head, we’ve probably run our course.

Argh I can relate to this, in a way.
My ex, who I loved dearly and was with for a couple of years, had something similar-ish. A couple of months into dating we would have sex with a lot of dirty talk, very porn star vibe, I was his “little whore” etc, he was my master. I loved it at first when it was one in five times we had sex, but after a year or so it became every time. Literally. Every. Time. And it just became a chore and not fun and not sexy and I got sick of being called a whore and being spanked etc. It was really tricky to deal with though, as aside from this he was a fabulous boyfriend and we had a great relationship. I found it really hard to talk to him about it as I didn’t want him to be offended, as I worried he’d be crushed if he knew I had stopped enjoying sex. So I get your pain OP!

It repulses me how these men just walk among us. These poor women just going about their day and he is using them as mental porn.

Urgh 🤮

😂

Mr Tumble, Christ I can’t think of anything worse.