Page 6 | To be sick and tired of DP’s requests?

Newjob25 · 2025-10-09T17:05:42+00:00

We are two years in, and every time we are going to be intimate, DP asks me to dress up in something. Started off with lingerie, now it’s ’oh do you have any leather’, or if we are watching TV - ‘do you have some boots like her for later’. The odd occasion - absolutely fine. But it’s become a chore now. He said I should feel sexy getting dressed up and seeing how much he enjoys it. AIBU to say enough is enough?

ClaredeBear · 09/10/2025 21:29

Menopants · 09/10/2025 18:10

Mr Ben lolz

😂😂😂

localnotail · 09/10/2025 21:31

He can't tell you how you should feel. If you dont like it, you dont like it.

What about getting him to act up your fantasise? Like being a perfect house husband for a day and doing all the house chores. Because it would make you soo sooo turned on!

Happyjoe · 09/10/2025 21:41

Tell him whatever porn he watches, it isn't the real world. Bit of a chore tbh.

Original poster

Newjob25 · 09/10/2025 21:43

RawBloomers · 09/10/2025 20:52

OP is he generous in bed or is this indicative of very selfish attitude to sex where it’s all about his desires and you supposedly being fulfilled by gratifying him?

If he isn’t hitting it out of the park in other areas (especially if sex is all about him regardless of the dress up requests), then move on. You’ve voiced your discomfort and he’s not inclined to take any notice at all, gaslighting you about it instead. This is a red flag you need to not ignore.

If he is otherwise generous and the rest of the relationship is working for you I might try a bit of an ultimatum. Something like - this is too dogmatic an approach to sex for me. I don’t want to be constantly acting out some fantasy for you. I’ll do it once a month/quarter/[whatever you think you’d be comfortable with, including not at all or when I feel like it]. I don’t want to hear about it outside that. If you can’t fancy me without me playing up to some fantasy in your head, we’ve probably run our course.

This is genuinely the only issue (albeit it’s became a big one!)

I am going to have to tell him that tomorrow is the last time. On the odd occasion when I want to, then maybe I will do so. But there will be no more requests, and I’ll decide when I’m comfortable to do so.

I somehow hadn’t really cottoned on to the fact that him telling me where he’s got ideas from was him getting somewhat turned on by other women. The office is one example. He has made comments about gym leggings, and an estate agent who valued his flat in ‘tight’ trousers - these would always give him ‘ideas’.

OP posts:

ReadingSoManyThreads · 09/10/2025 21:47

Newjob25 · 09/10/2025 21:43

This is genuinely the only issue (albeit it’s became a big one!)

I am going to have to tell him that tomorrow is the last time. On the odd occasion when I want to, then maybe I will do so. But there will be no more requests, and I’ll decide when I’m comfortable to do so.

I somehow hadn’t really cottoned on to the fact that him telling me where he’s got ideas from was him getting somewhat turned on by other women. The office is one example. He has made comments about gym leggings, and an estate agent who valued his flat in ‘tight’ trousers - these would always give him ‘ideas’.

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He's a grim creep. He's given ME the ICK! 😑

Wheresthebeach · 09/10/2025 22:04

That’s grim…

TheExcitersblowingupmymind · 09/10/2025 22:05

Newjob25 · 09/10/2025 21:43

This is genuinely the only issue (albeit it’s became a big one!)

I am going to have to tell him that tomorrow is the last time. On the odd occasion when I want to, then maybe I will do so. But there will be no more requests, and I’ll decide when I’m comfortable to do so.

I somehow hadn’t really cottoned on to the fact that him telling me where he’s got ideas from was him getting somewhat turned on by other women. The office is one example. He has made comments about gym leggings, and an estate agent who valued his flat in ‘tight’ trousers - these would always give him ‘ideas’.

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I'm sorry you've to listen to where he gets his pornified ideas from and expecting real life sex doll to act them out
Creepy git!

RawBloomers · 09/10/2025 22:07

Newjob25 · 09/10/2025 21:43

This is genuinely the only issue (albeit it’s became a big one!)

I am going to have to tell him that tomorrow is the last time. On the odd occasion when I want to, then maybe I will do so. But there will be no more requests, and I’ll decide when I’m comfortable to do so.

I somehow hadn’t really cottoned on to the fact that him telling me where he’s got ideas from was him getting somewhat turned on by other women. The office is one example. He has made comments about gym leggings, and an estate agent who valued his flat in ‘tight’ trousers - these would always give him ‘ideas’.

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Don’t tell him tomorrow is the last time. Don’t do it tomorrow. Wear jeans. Or a flowing dress. Whatever makes you feel good. And tell him no, you don’t want to.

Opal888 · 09/10/2025 22:10

God it's so boring isnt it. I had many exes like this. They're like children, wanting something novel from the dress-up box.

SpideyVerse · 09/10/2025 22:10

Newjob25 · 09/10/2025 21:43

This is genuinely the only issue (albeit it’s became a big one!)

I am going to have to tell him that tomorrow is the last time. On the odd occasion when I want to, then maybe I will do so. But there will be no more requests, and I’ll decide when I’m comfortable to do so.

I somehow hadn’t really cottoned on to the fact that him telling me where he’s got ideas from was him getting somewhat turned on by other women. The office is one example. He has made comments about gym leggings, and an estate agent who valued his flat in ‘tight’ trousers - these would always give him ‘ideas’.

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Eurgh.
Seems to me that you've stumbled into obliging him this pattern of behaviour that actively lets him depersonalise you, and use your body as a vessel to imagine having his way with other women he encounters and sexualises day-to-day.
Do you really want to help him do that?

whimsicallyprickly · 09/10/2025 22:11

Newjob25 · 09/10/2025 21:43

This is genuinely the only issue (albeit it’s became a big one!)

I am going to have to tell him that tomorrow is the last time. On the odd occasion when I want to, then maybe I will do so. But there will be no more requests, and I’ll decide when I’m comfortable to do so.

I somehow hadn’t really cottoned on to the fact that him telling me where he’s got ideas from was him getting somewhat turned on by other women. The office is one example. He has made comments about gym leggings, and an estate agent who valued his flat in ‘tight’ trousers - these would always give him ‘ideas’.

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Hes a real Prince, isn't he? 🙄

Onlycoffee · 09/10/2025 22:12

neverbeenskiing · 09/10/2025 18:13

He said I should feel sexy getting dressed up and seeing how much he enjoys it

Nothing more attractive than a man telling you how to feel 🙄

Especially when it's all about him, as if women only exist to men's life more enjoyable, and derive their own enjoyment from making men happy.
Eugh

IlonaRN · 09/10/2025 22:13

newmama2023 · 09/10/2025 19:51

I could of written this myself! I am in the exact same boat! And we are getting married tomorrow

Don't!

whimsicallyprickly · 09/10/2025 22:14

newmama2023 · 09/10/2025 19:51

I could of written this myself! I am in the exact same boat! And we are getting married tomorrow

Please don't marry him @newmama2023

BrightYellowDaffodil · 09/10/2025 22:17

Newjob25 · 09/10/2025 21:43

This is genuinely the only issue (albeit it’s became a big one!)

I am going to have to tell him that tomorrow is the last time. On the odd occasion when I want to, then maybe I will do so. But there will be no more requests, and I’ll decide when I’m comfortable to do so.

I somehow hadn’t really cottoned on to the fact that him telling me where he’s got ideas from was him getting somewhat turned on by other women. The office is one example. He has made comments about gym leggings, and an estate agent who valued his flat in ‘tight’ trousers - these would always give him ‘ideas’.

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Christ alive, I don’t even know the man and yet, reading that, I can feel myself slam shut like a startled clam.

Hard agree with the poster above who said he’s using you as a glorified wank sock for his grim fantasies.

Aluna · 09/10/2025 22:20

He’s given me the ick from here.

But before I dumped him I would make him dress up as a policeman, cowboy, pirate and Tarzan just for a laugh. Run Fatboy run.

SocksAndTheCity · 09/10/2025 22:21

Gross. I'd suggest buying him a Barbie if he wants a doll to dress up, but Barbie deserves better.

TootSweeties · 09/10/2025 22:24

My fanny dried up reading this. Fucking grim.

StrikeForever · 09/10/2025 22:24

You know tomorrow doesn’t have to be the last time. You don’t have to do it again. Just stop!

Apocketfilledwithposies · 09/10/2025 22:30

So as well as telling you what should turn you on 🙄🙄🙄 he's also openly telling you he's perving over other women and then wants you to look just like them. 😳🤬 WTF?!!
Does he not hear himself??

I've got the ick and I don't even know him.

Do not put the fucking pencil skirt on op. Tell him to fuck off.n

Grammarnut · 09/10/2025 22:33

I liked dressing up but it needs to be a) mutual and b) fairly spontaneous. We had a large repetoire - and not every time because that ceases to be fun and becomes a chore.

PyongyangKipperbang · 09/10/2025 22:34

Newjob25 · 09/10/2025 21:43

This is genuinely the only issue (albeit it’s became a big one!)

I am going to have to tell him that tomorrow is the last time. On the odd occasion when I want to, then maybe I will do so. But there will be no more requests, and I’ll decide when I’m comfortable to do so.

I somehow hadn’t really cottoned on to the fact that him telling me where he’s got ideas from was him getting somewhat turned on by other women. The office is one example. He has made comments about gym leggings, and an estate agent who valued his flat in ‘tight’ trousers - these would always give him ‘ideas’.

Show quote history

OMG you are giving him "a last time"?!

WHY?

He is a skank, a creep, a fucking manky piece of shit.

If you think that he is all you are worth I am so sorry for you.

RAISE YOUR STANDARDS!

JustSawJohnny · 09/10/2025 22:35

Newjob25 · 09/10/2025 21:43

This is genuinely the only issue (albeit it’s became a big one!)

I am going to have to tell him that tomorrow is the last time. On the odd occasion when I want to, then maybe I will do so. But there will be no more requests, and I’ll decide when I’m comfortable to do so.

I somehow hadn’t really cottoned on to the fact that him telling me where he’s got ideas from was him getting somewhat turned on by other women. The office is one example. He has made comments about gym leggings, and an estate agent who valued his flat in ‘tight’ trousers - these would always give him ‘ideas’.

Show quote history

Eeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeewwwwwwwwwww!!!!!!

Plenty more fish, babes.

ThatRealLemonCat · 09/10/2025 22:36

PyongyangKipperbang · 09/10/2025 22:34

OMG you are giving him "a last time"?!

WHY?

He is a skank, a creep, a fucking manky piece of shit.

If you think that he is all you are worth I am so sorry for you.

RAISE YOUR STANDARDS!

Show quote history

I don't think I would even have given him a "second time"

Wackadaywideawake · 09/10/2025 22:39

I am now experiencing ick by proxy