If you worked 3 days but earned more than DH, would you do housework on your days off?

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Just that really. Our situation is much more complicated, but in a nutshell I work 3 days a week, school hours & term time only, but still earn slightly more than DH who works full time. I'd say we share most housework roughly equally at the weekends and evenings, I do more cooking as he gets home late but he cleans the kitchen. I do more childcare but he does school runs.

My question is whether he should be peeved if I spend my two days off a week watching Netflix/getting a haircut/meeting friends, rather than cleaning the bathroom (as I just started to, which prompted this thread). Personally I feel like since we earn equally, I should do what I like on my days off and not feel guilty about it. Actually I feel like it's kudos to me for being in this situation 🤷‍♀️

DH hasn't actually expressed anything on the matter (yet).

I will still clean the bathroom, because it needs it, but I don't plan to feel bad about watching the traitors afterwards.

Ummm. Does DH get 2 days off?

If not, clean the bloody house.

I work 3 and half days earn 3x more than hubby earns and ye so do housework on the days I do not work because contrary to you I think couples need to be balanced and both need time to rest , be together , be with the kids etc so if me doing a bit more housework allows more of that than I will do it . In a balanced relationship it doesn’t matter who earns the most either . Things need balance , you seem to think you have more power because you earn more ???

I don’t understand how someone amounts workloads to how much they earn? What I’m reading is - I work less hours but bring in more money so I should have more time off.

If a DH said ‘I bring in more money so you should clean more’ there would be outrage.

You’re entitled to have your rest periods. But if you have two whole days in the week alone, surely you wouldn’t just sit surrounded by shit until the weekend so you can split it with your H who’s been working in that time? What an odd outlook on life.

Yes i would. I would have more free time so I'd do a bit more.

Is this a reverse?? You can’t really think that your DH should do 50% of the housework even though he works F/T while you work P/T and sit on the sofa all day?!

The fact you earn more is totally and utterly irrelevant! It’s about how much time each partner has free. Somebody might be working F/T doing a really important job on crap money while their partner works P/T and earns more. It’s not automatically a failing or a lack of ambition to be on a lower wage (unless evidence suggests otherwise). I could never sit on my arse watching TV while my partner was at work, then expect them to come home and do the housework.

WTAF? Are you not a team? Do the housework so you can both enjoy a clean house and free time at the weekend.

Cleaners aren’t that expensive, could you work half a day more a week and pay for a cleaner? Then you could time for you and the cleaning gets done?

This has got to be a reverse or something hasnt it?

Imagine if a husband worked 3 days, earned more than his wife, but still expected the wife to do just as much housework whilst he played golf on his days off.

This place would literally burn to the ground.

Totally agree.

lol what the fuck

I think it's a really bizarre question and can't believe a woman posted it tbh. It reads like a reverse from an entitled man.

this will be me next year - I don't now, I would like to say yes but probably not as I am a slattern

I used to be part time in this situation and I definitely didn't feel guilty using some of the time for me though overall I definitely did more childcare and housework anyway

I expect it’s all a work of fiction anyway. If you have any career aspirations, why would you limit yourself to working 3 days a week, school hours, term time? If you’re capable of earning good money, surely you’d invest more in yourself, stack loads into your pension and if anything, get the lower earner to work part time! What a load of nonsense

He's a lazy shit and I'd be getting him told. Do you have children?

It sounds like you aren’t very happy with how things are at the moment and want some down time to yourself. However you should discuss this with your dh rather than taking such a transactional autonomous approach. You are a team and you want to foster intimacy and caring, not distance and transaction.

But why is that resentment towards your DH? He can’t help that your DC has SEN, and you both chose to have children. Why is he being penalised for this?

Id see that as a bit shit. To me the fair split is both doing a reasonable amount to maximise earnings, but also seeking to have an equal amount of leisure time.

What you earn is sort of irrelevant, you have far more leisure time than your DH, which feels quite unfair. Unless its that you use the extra money to oursource cleaning, thus saving you both time.

No, I don’t think it’s fair to use a higher salary as a reason to do less grunt work in the house.

If one person only works part time (whatever their salary) they should do more around the house.

I work mornings only so that I can do school pickup and that's what I do from 1.30 to 3. Empty and load dishwasher, put a wash on, change bed/towels if needed, mop. I'm not dusting the skirting boards or washing the curtains on that time but it keeps the house running. Then I sit for a bit!

YABU. If you earned less, but worked longer hours, would you expect to have to do more housework? These are not related things.

I'm in the same position, I work less hours and earn more. My non-working time is spent doing things that benefit the household (mostly childcare and cooking). Everything outside that is 50/50.

It’s really awful that you think bringing in more money means you don’t need to take care of the house on your days off. Who else do you expect to do it? DH after he’s worked 16 hours more than you? It’s not about income, it’s about hours worked. You have a really horrible way of looking at it. You are supposed to be a team. If the roles were reversed I’m sure you’d have something to say about it.

Yes you should do more because you work less. But you can do some nice things too. Sounds like you are doing slightly more at home anyway. But no it is not about who earns what. It is about having a nice life together with mutual respect and responsibilities. So yes get your hair done on your day off. That frees up the weekend to do more stuff together. Meet a friend for lunch but get on top of the laundry first etc etc.

YABU. It should be based on free time, not income.

I’d assume you’re not a team player.

I work 3 days a week and on the 2 extra days off I get that DH is working, I will do a mix of relaxing, going out with DC and housework.

No one is saying you can’t enjoy lunch with your friends or go get your hair cut - but surely you’d rather spend quality time with your DH and DC on weekends rather than both be doing house work.

I am on team DH here.

Solid agree, and I’d be lighting the matches.