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Original poster

If you worked 3 days but earned more than DH, would you do housework on your days off?

524 replies

namechange0998776554799000 · 09/10/2025 11:23

Just that really. Our situation is much more complicated, but in a nutshell I work 3 days a week, school hours & term time only, but still earn slightly more than DH who works full time. I'd say we share most housework roughly equally at the weekends and evenings, I do more cooking as he gets home late but he cleans the kitchen. I do more childcare but he does school runs.

My question is whether he should be peeved if I spend my two days off a week watching Netflix/getting a haircut/meeting friends, rather than cleaning the bathroom (as I just started to, which prompted this thread). Personally I feel like since we earn equally, I should do what I like on my days off and not feel guilty about it. Actually I feel like it's kudos to me for being in this situation 🤷‍♀️

DH hasn't actually expressed anything on the matter (yet).

I will still clean the bathroom, because it needs it, but I don't plan to feel bad about watching the traitors afterwards.

OP posts:
SalamiSammich · 09/10/2025 11:25

I'm in your position and DH always tells me to put my feet up.

So imo they are your days. Husband can get promoted if he wants to do the same.

FairyRobot · 09/10/2025 11:28

I wouldn’t do that personally. I see that we are a partnership, and both should be putting in as much ‘work’ as the other, whether that’s paid work, childcare or housework. It doesn’t matter to us who brings in more money, it’s about sharing the joint load. I would feel unfair if I was having loads of leisure time while he didn’t - not very team spirited….

SoScarletItWas · 09/10/2025 11:28

I’d get a cleaner if I could afford it (which I’m going to assume you could. if your three days pays more than DH’s full time).

But yes, I do think the person working three days should do more housework as the other person is working outside the home five days a week. Especially if kids are in school. I’d say that whichever way round it was.

Dearg · 09/10/2025 11:28

in your situation, why do you work only 3 out of 5 days? I understand the school hours and term time, but would 5 days not improve the family pot?

I think sharing housework, childcare etc is essential in any marriage, but I don’t get what earnings have to do with it.

coronafiona · 09/10/2025 11:30

Yes I would. It would mean weekends are free.

SugarPlumpFairyCakes · 09/10/2025 11:30

Get a cleaner.

Chocolateismylovelife · 09/10/2025 11:30

The person working less should do more in the home regardless of income.

JamDisaster · 09/10/2025 11:30

Yes you should do housework on your day off if it needs doing. It should be split by available time not earnings.

Hoppinggreen · 09/10/2025 11:31

Yes I would, even if I earned a lot more (or pay for a cleaner)
Division of household stuff should be based on time not earnings

ZippyPeer · 09/10/2025 11:31

I would follow the principle of having equal time off to do your own things. Its the most fair approach and avoids having to weigh up who is contributing more and the relative value of those things.

Rosesanddaffs · 09/10/2025 11:31

I do the housework on one of my days off as I want our weekends to be free of chores.

I keep a day for myself to do whatever I want. Today is my do nothing day and watch Netflix.

If I did chores on both days I start feeling resentful! So I make sure I have a day to relax etc xx

JacquesHarlow · 09/10/2025 11:32

Can we just reverse the examples here, and see what the response would be if the DH was proposing what the OP is?

I guarantee you the responses would be different !

Sharptonguedwoman · 09/10/2025 11:34

namechange0998776554799000 · 09/10/2025 11:23

Just that really. Our situation is much more complicated, but in a nutshell I work 3 days a week, school hours & term time only, but still earn slightly more than DH who works full time. I'd say we share most housework roughly equally at the weekends and evenings, I do more cooking as he gets home late but he cleans the kitchen. I do more childcare but he does school runs.

My question is whether he should be peeved if I spend my two days off a week watching Netflix/getting a haircut/meeting friends, rather than cleaning the bathroom (as I just started to, which prompted this thread). Personally I feel like since we earn equally, I should do what I like on my days off and not feel guilty about it. Actually I feel like it's kudos to me for being in this situation 🤷‍♀️

DH hasn't actually expressed anything on the matter (yet).

I will still clean the bathroom, because it needs it, but I don't plan to feel bad about watching the traitors afterwards.

How dismally transactional. As others have said, get a cleaner.

olderandnonthewiser · 09/10/2025 11:34

I don’t think earning more entitles you to more free time. If you did all the housework on your days off you’d both have the weekends off.
That’s a partnership. A team.

Darker · 09/10/2025 11:34

Does he have equal time to put his feet up and enjoy his interests?

YellowBlueStar · 09/10/2025 11:35

Several years ago, I worked part time while my dh was fulltime. I did do most of the housework during my time off work as it meant we could enjoy the weekends. I did have time to meet up with friends and do other things aswell. I was earning much less than him then.
Now, my dh is retired and I work part time, he does do some housework/food shopping/jobs around the house on my work days.

Itstheshowgirl · 09/10/2025 11:36

While I do think you should have relaxing time on your days off (don’t know why that’s even a question) I don’t think household labour should be based on earnings and if one partner has more time then it makes sense that they might pick up slightly more - but not all of it.

I spent years earning more than DH, he now earns more than me, we both just do what needs done when we have time. Earnings don’t come into it.

Fidgety31 · 09/10/2025 11:37

I wouldn’t want to waste my weekends in housework so would get it done during the week

SnowflakeSmasher86 · 09/10/2025 11:38

They’re “your days” - is it also “your money” and “your mess”? If I marry again I hope to have more of a teamwork attitude tbh. If I had more free time I’d definitely use some of it to make my H’s life easier, and similarly the one earning more would hopefully use some of that money to make the other’s life easier. If you want to hoard money, time or freedom to ensure a 50/50 split that’s roommates to me.

Ddakji · 09/10/2025 11:38

So you do 3 days a week, term time only? So 13 weeks holiday a year?

Yes, you do more housework. It’s not about money earned, it’s about free time. And you have a lot of it.

NannyOggsScones · 09/10/2025 11:39

i work full time but earn less than DH does that mean I should do more housework? If you earned less than him do you think you should do it? Using your rules how at what point does house work become 50:50? Your approach is very transactional which doesn’t usually make for a harmonious relationship.

CloudyYellow · 09/10/2025 11:39

Chocolateismylovelife · 09/10/2025 11:30

The person working less should do more in the home regardless of income.

This.

Sexentric · 09/10/2025 11:40

What on earth does it have to do with earnings? I'm actually shocked that anyone would think that! I fo more housework than DH generally because I work 30 hours a week while he works about 50. NOT because he earns more but because I have more time. The only reason I work / earn less is because I've had less promotions at work because we decided one of us should have a bit more flexibility for the kids.
You should both have he same amount of free time (roughly)

SnowflakeSmasher86 · 09/10/2025 11:41

JacquesHarlow · 09/10/2025 11:32

Can we just reverse the examples here, and see what the response would be if the DH was proposing what the OP is?

I guarantee you the responses would be different !

In what way? Most posters have said yes, the one earning more but working less should do more housework. Do you think they’d advise a man working PT that he should go and play golf or watch Netflix instead of cleaning?

CheesyWootsits · 09/10/2025 11:41

Errrr, OP, are you not a team?

Surely you would do more housework and tasks on your days off, to give you both some time off at the weekend?

If not, work full-time and with that money pay someone to do them?

Have some fun too, obviously.

If not, imagine the reverse of this!