To not understand why DH books a hotel in same town when colleagues visit

[Christmascountdown25]

Does anyone else find this strange?

DH’s team are spread over England and Wales (head office is where we live) and about 3 times a year, they have a two day meeting at the head office with the staff who travel particularly far put up at a local hotel.

The last two occasions, DH has also stayed at that hotel (he says expensed by the company). His reasoning - he doesn’t want to wake
me (and 2x young DC) midweek when arriving home later after drinking and a free hotel isn’t something to say no to. They always have big socials but he’s usually vague on the detail. He’s one of 3 men and there are 6/7 women, only one of which is local so the rest stay at the hotel.

I just find it so strange. The hotel is a 10
minute drive away from us and he has no issues waking me up when he’s had too many pints with his mates on a Friday night.

Oh and btw it is 20% of married men and 13 % of married women cheat. Not 50% of men (per comment further up the thread).

But that's still a 1 in 5 chance he's a skank, and after all you do know he's a skank anyway by his own words - and of course this is not the first time he has spoken to you like this.

And he lied about his reasons too - instead of saying it's just lovely having a free hotel and i love the night off he tried to pretend he was off skanking around in order to spare you, what a white knight and champion, eh?

All that and he regularly gets hammered on a Friday night and staggers in to wake the house.

What a prince.

I know all these statistics are just being made up but it’s statistically more like 80% 😂

or higher

Why doesn't he just go home then? 😂

No, they're not being made up 😂 I never just pull claims out of my arse, and have looked into this before.

80% of the men you choose may have cheated, however.

UK and America are roughly the same.

yougov dot co.uk/society/articles/12404-one-five-british-adults-admit-affair

And cheaters usually cheat more than once.

"The survey also reveals that, of those who say they have had an affair, only half have stopped at one. A quarter have had two affairs, while 20% have had three or more. 8% have had five or more affairs."

discreetinvestigations. ca/infidelity-statistics-who-cheats-more-men-or-women/

The Institute for Family Studies (IFS) ifstudies dot org/blog/who-cheats-more-the-demographics-of-cheating-in-america surveyed men and women from 2010 to 2016 who were either married or had been married before. According to the General Social Survey, men are more likely to cheat than women, with 20% of men and 13% of women reporting having sex with someone other than their partner while still married.

However, the gender gap varies per age. From the same survey, data from married adults ages 18 to 29 says that more women are guilty of infidelity, with 11% of the women from the surveyed group admitting to having an affair. In comparison, only 10% of men from the age group are guilty. But the gap reverses as it jumps into the next age group.

Among those ages 30 to 39 years old, infidelity in men increases, with 14% of the surveyed group saying that they cheated on their partner, and only 11% of women admitted to having an affair. With age, cheating has become more prevalent. Men in their 60s report having a higher rate of infidelity (24%), with the number still increasing until ages 70-79, with 26% of men cheating on their partners. Women, on the other hand, have the highest rate of infidelity in their 60s (16%), but the number goes down as they approach their 70s (13%) and 80s (6%).

Supporting data from the IFS 1990s survey also says that men have always been more inclined to cheat than women. But during this period, older men have the same tendency to cheat as their younger peers. The survey says that infidelity among men peaked at the age of 50 to 59 (31%). The number decreases as the men age during this period. For women, the highest infidelity rate is from ages 40 to 49 (18%), which declines as they age.

As always, the elephant in the room is that the DH gets to go out with his mates on a Friday night, go to a hotel to enjoy an evening out.

Not a care in the world.

Life goes on for this man, as it always did, meanwhile his young children are at home and who's responsible for that heavy lifting.... ah yes, of course, that's the woman's responsibility.

It's weird. I join in and enjoy drinks with colleagues but I'd always go home after. There's nothing you can't join in with and then get a taxi home.

Based on the milk tankers comment he's obviously too young to drive, so staying at the hotel is probably more convenient than his calling his mum for a lift?

I see why you’re feeling this way but I guess he is probably staying to feel part of the team, Having breakfast together is part of it too. Sounds like he’d be the odd one out if he left. I’d do the same if I could. It’s something different amongst his normal working life.x

This,
There are few things in life better than a company expenses paid for hotel for the night 😂

But, I suspect there’s other things that have happened that have spiked OPs spidey senses.

Me too! Why is this? I never eat breakfast, can’t stomach it, but put me in a hotel and it’s egg, bacon, hash browns, toast, with orange juice and coffee, rounded off with a croissant and a mini jar of jam.

In your scenario, if OP also said that she had made an admiring comment about her male colleague's large penis while drunk, I think that people would be pretty judgey about that.

That's a bullshit excuse, specially if he does it on other occasions anyway. Purely based on the general population of men and how shitty they are, I'd find this dodgy af. A 10min drive and ge stays in a hotel? Come on!

He’ll be shagging one of them.

Hotels that someone else pays for are the best

Because most of us get a break from our own kids when we go on work events. We don't want other people's there! The company is paying for their staff to stay for a work event, so they won't pay for family rooms either.

Don't bring y'all domestic drama to work events either and ruin it for the rest of us. Partners are no longer allowed at work dos after one of the execs' wives decided to use our Christmas do as her own personal Wagatha escapade. Except she wasn't as subtle as Colleen, she was pished and she insulted a good many women there, including me, who was most definitely not ever touching her seedy rat of a husband with a 10 foot pole, but I was one of the first under suspicion as I was at the time the only female departmental director. She was escorted out after one of the PAs, who had also had a decent amount of free champagne, told her to get tae fuck and wife threw a drink in her face.

Horrid, sleazy, bored married men whose complimentary lines extend to "milk tankers" are no prize for those of us with any sort of class.

I think the bigger concern is your husbands casual misogyny. It’s vile to talk like this about women.

DH used to do this - he enjoyed a good drink & socialising with colleagues & couldn’t be bothered with the taxi home…much easier just to hop upstairs to your room! He’s trying to drink less now though so usually comes home so he doesn’t get tempted at the hotel bar. I never had any suspicions regarding infidelity.

I love staying in hotels! I always would

Let him go to the hotel and tell him to stay there.

‘Milk tankers’? How can you be with a man that talks about women like that? So base and disrespectful. He is vile.

Well, admiring is doing a bit of heavy lifting there - grossly sleazy and inappropriate is what the OPs husband was about the newly single woman he fancies.

Like everyone else, I can see the appeal
for him.

The possible red flag for me is that this a change in behaviour - they’ve been having these meetings for how long? And he’s stayed over only the last two? So my question would be what has changed?

3 times a year?

What type of job do you do?

This wouldn't be at all unusual ime but I can see that if you haven't worked in that type of corporate environment you might not realisr there's nothing strange about it

I expect he doesn’t want to miss out on the mass orgy fun.

For all the reasons already explained on this thread.
I’ve done this many times and have never once shagged a colleague.