Page 6 | To not understand why DH books a hotel in same town when colleagues visit

Sandy483 · 09/10/2025 09:30

My ex did exactly the same, turned out he was hoping to sleep with the bosses PA who was already supposed to be having an affair with his boss and had a reputation for sleeping around.

He sounds vile OP with the things he says so i wouldn't put anything past him, he clearly has no respect for women.

EmeraldShamrock000 · 09/10/2025 09:33

Yuck. Milk tank.
I voted yabu before I read the update.
I'd hate to be married to him.

zingally · 09/10/2025 09:35

He just doesn't want to miss out on the fun. :) Plus a free night in a hotel, bed to yourself, and a hot shower to stand in as long as you want? Sounds lovely! One of my favourite things about a hotel stay is the guilt-free long shower!

PegDope · 09/10/2025 09:37

NellieElephantine · 08/10/2025 22:02

Free hotel room, whole bed and bathroom to myself? Yes please!!

Me too!

diddl · 09/10/2025 10:11

If it's as obvious to his female colleagues what a pig he is I doubt he's getting a chance to shag any of them.

It seems he would given the chance though so that's an issue-that & the fact that he's talks in such revolting terms about women.

MoominMai · 09/10/2025 10:14

@Christmascountdown25 the only bit I find weird is DH saying it’s a free hotel for him also. In my experience any company I’ve worked for they expect you to be a minimum of 90mins away before they’ll consider paying for a free hotel room and he’s only 10mins away. It wouldn’t worry me that he’d want to stay at same place as his work colleagues but it would worry me if he was lying about it.

Original poster

Christmascountdown25 · 09/10/2025 10:24

At my friends suggestion when he was away last night and my DC were asleep I looked at his bank statement from the time he was last away.

The hotel name is on the statement for the cost of what I’d imagine a room would be, but I can’t find a matching incoming payment from his company to suggest it was expensed.

I’m feeling suspicious now.

OP posts:

user0345437398 · 09/10/2025 10:27

Christmascountdown25 · 08/10/2025 22:21

Said she’s recently single and that he doesn’t know why any man would leave someone with milk tankers like she has got.

He apologised the next morning, but it did upset me.

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Sounds like he doesn't see women as people.

Hoppinggreen · 09/10/2025 10:32

Christmascountdown25 · 08/10/2025 22:19

I think I probably am overthinking things. When he was drunk with me recently and discussing work he described one of his colleagues in crass terms (which made me think he likes her) and it has played on my mind.

Well theres the issue then
If my DH did this (hotel stay) I wouldn't think twice, I would enjoy having the TV and bed to myself but if there are trust issues then it might be different

SandyY2K · 09/10/2025 10:49

Mumtobabyhavoc · 09/10/2025 04:58

Why doesn't he just go home then? 😂

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He will. After the 2 days.

No need to cart the kids around, when they have all their stuff in their own environment at home.

He can wake up, join the team for breakfast and be part of it all.

MoominMai · 09/10/2025 10:51

Christmascountdown25 · 09/10/2025 10:24

At my friends suggestion when he was away last night and my DC were asleep I looked at his bank statement from the time he was last away.

The hotel name is on the statement for the cost of what I’d imagine a room would be, but I can’t find a matching incoming payment from his company to suggest it was expensed.

I’m feeling suspicious now.

🤔. I don’t envy you it’s difficult to get to the bottom of if he’s one of these that will get affronted for you daring to ask further Qs about this. Most people usually put their expense request in immediately as who wants to be out of pocket in excess £100 or so? If you’re not seeing any reimbursement then he’s probably telling porkies. Hopefully it’s just a white lie because for some reason he thinks you would be angry if you knew he was covering these expenses a few times every year out his own pocket instead of just coming home albeit very late.

OchreRaven · 09/10/2025 10:53

Christmascountdown25 · 09/10/2025 10:24

At my friends suggestion when he was away last night and my DC were asleep I looked at his bank statement from the time he was last away.

The hotel name is on the statement for the cost of what I’d imagine a room would be, but I can’t find a matching incoming payment from his company to suggest it was expensed.

I’m feeling suspicious now.

Wouldn’t it be added to his wages not necessarily provided as a separate payment?

Calliopespa · 09/10/2025 10:56

Mumtobabyhavoc · 08/10/2025 23:52

If it's too good of an offer to pass up why doesn't wife join him for the night and get a sitter for the dc? 🤨
Why not bring the kids along for the fun of it?
As OP said, he has no trouble finding his way home from the pub on other nights.
He's up to no good.

In fairness even if bringing his wife for a freebie doesn't raise eyebrows, you can't cart the kids along to a corporate stay.

I'm kind of on the fence op. Plenty of people would do this innocently, but I'm not sure about lads who can't conceive of ever leaving a "pair of milk tankers" if they had them to hand. I can see why he might not be easy to trust with that sort of talk.

saraclara · 09/10/2025 11:28

Christmascountdown25 · 09/10/2025 10:24

At my friends suggestion when he was away last night and my DC were asleep I looked at his bank statement from the time he was last away.

The hotel name is on the statement for the cost of what I’d imagine a room would be, but I can’t find a matching incoming payment from his company to suggest it was expensed.

I’m feeling suspicious now.

My expenses were always added to my wages, not paid into my bank.

beAsensible1 · 09/10/2025 11:43

saraclara · 09/10/2025 11:28

My expenses were always added to my wages, not paid into my bank.

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Same especially for larger amounts

SoReadyFor · 09/10/2025 11:49

sorry commented too early

CompoCompoComp · 09/10/2025 12:02

I would do that! He can just focus on work, socialise, wake up in a hotel room and not have to fuss about kids, family, etc.
I have done that in fact. I’m a woman and not having any affairs!
it’s just easy to fall into bed and wake up in a nice room, with no distractions!

CompoCompoComp · 09/10/2025 12:06

saraclara · 09/10/2025 11:28

My expenses were always added to my wages, not paid into my bank.

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My expenses could be paid into any acct I wanted and I used an older one not my main one. Now we just use corporate cards.
There is a chance he’s just paying for it himself to make his life easier and doesn’t want to tell you… my current company doesn’t let us expense an overnight if it’s within a certain amount of miles of our homes.
But I could see myself just paying for my own room rather than getting home at midnight then up again at the crack of dawn in your DHs circumstances…

RainbowBagels · 09/10/2025 12:08

Christmascountdown25 · 09/10/2025 10:24

At my friends suggestion when he was away last night and my DC were asleep I looked at his bank statement from the time he was last away.

The hotel name is on the statement for the cost of what I’d imagine a room would be, but I can’t find a matching incoming payment from his company to suggest it was expensed.

I’m feeling suspicious now.

I often claim travel expenses. They are added to my salary. Also what would be the point of booking another room if he was having it away with a colleague? Surely they'd share a room.

Toddlerteaplease · 09/10/2025 12:21

I would never turn down a free hotel room, even in my own town!

Calliopespa · 09/10/2025 12:47

CompoCompoComp · 09/10/2025 12:06

My expenses could be paid into any acct I wanted and I used an older one not my main one. Now we just use corporate cards.
There is a chance he’s just paying for it himself to make his life easier and doesn’t want to tell you… my current company doesn’t let us expense an overnight if it’s within a certain amount of miles of our homes.
But I could see myself just paying for my own room rather than getting home at midnight then up again at the crack of dawn in your DHs circumstances…

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Is Dawn the name of the milk-churn lady?

Bournetilly · 09/10/2025 12:50

I think staying in the hotel is fine, he’s joining in and it’s free. But given your update I can see why you are upset, his comment was disgusting.

Wexone · 09/10/2025 13:10

Christmascountdown25 · 09/10/2025 10:24

At my friends suggestion when he was away last night and my DC were asleep I looked at his bank statement from the time he was last away.

The hotel name is on the statement for the cost of what I’d imagine a room would be, but I can’t find a matching incoming payment from his company to suggest it was expensed.

I’m feeling suspicious now.

Expenses are added to my wages now in my company and two months after it happened depending on the dates you have submitted them - The two months after is quiet annoying a recent update

YourBlueShark · 09/10/2025 15:47

Christmascountdown25 · 08/10/2025 21:59

Does anyone else find this strange?

DH’s team are spread over England and Wales (head office is where we live) and about 3 times a year, they have a two day meeting at the head office with the staff who travel particularly far put up at a local hotel.

The last two occasions, DH has also stayed at that hotel (he says expensed by the company). His reasoning - he doesn’t want to wake
me (and 2x young DC) midweek when arriving home later after drinking and a free hotel isn’t something to say no to. They always have big socials but he’s usually vague on the detail. He’s one of 3 men and there are 6/7 women, only one of which is local so the rest stay at the hotel.

I just find it so strange. The hotel is a 10
minute drive away from us and he has no issues waking me up when he’s had too many pints with his mates on a Friday night.

I used to do the same when I lived in the same city as my company's headquarters. It was just easier with all of the not mandatory but actually unofficially mandatory team events, internal networking, etc. There was also usually a coffee or breakfast meetup in the morning before the work day started, so it was much easier to just be on site for that. I don't find it remotely strange.

Changeiscoming1111 · 09/10/2025 19:09

Christmascountdown25 · 09/10/2025 10:24

At my friends suggestion when he was away last night and my DC were asleep I looked at his bank statement from the time he was last away.

The hotel name is on the statement for the cost of what I’d imagine a room would be, but I can’t find a matching incoming payment from his company to suggest it was expensed.

I’m feeling suspicious now.

I was going to suggest you find proof he is actually getting these expenses paid, my company wouldn’t pay a hotel room for locals. Hotel rooms for people who don’t live in the area happens in regularly.