To not understand why DH books a hotel in same town when colleagues visit

[Christmascountdown25]

Does anyone else find this strange?

DH’s team are spread over England and Wales (head office is where we live) and about 3 times a year, they have a two day meeting at the head office with the staff who travel particularly far put up at a local hotel.

The last two occasions, DH has also stayed at that hotel (he says expensed by the company). His reasoning - he doesn’t want to wake
me (and 2x young DC) midweek when arriving home later after drinking and a free hotel isn’t something to say no to. They always have big socials but he’s usually vague on the detail. He’s one of 3 men and there are 6/7 women, only one of which is local so the rest stay at the hotel.

I just find it so strange. The hotel is a 10
minute drive away from us and he has no issues waking me up when he’s had too many pints with his mates on a Friday night.

I totally understand where he’s coming from, and would do (have done) the exact same in the same type of situation. For me it was about joining in and being part of the team.

Free hotel room, whole bed and bathroom to myself? Yes please!!

Oh c’on you don’t need to be coy… you know what you are suggesting. Only you know if your actual concern is that he’s got his eye on someone in the hotel.

I wouldn’t overthink it, he probably just has FOMO.

I'd do the same. It's free, it's convenient, it's fun to have a night in a hotel.

I would definitely do it, no-one would be coming back to my room with me. A whole night by myself would be amazing.

If you are worried he’s doing something you need to talk to him about it.

We’re allowed to do this at my job (and some do), but I prefer to sleep in my own bed—I always wake up in the night in hotels. If you want to network and hang out at the bar, it’s a good way to get to know everyone.

What do you want us to tell you? He's using the opportunity to shag his colleagues?

This.

A lot of (innocent) team building happens in the bar after the meal.

Personally I’d much rather get a taxi home to my own bed! But I can see why other people might not. And of course he could be shagging one of them. Which is what you’re surely suggesting??

I think it’s normal and I’d do the same. You clearly think he’s shagging a work mate

He wants to be free to party party party with his work mates. I get it.

I’ve done the same previously. Firstly it’s a night in a bed on my own, in peace. Secondly there’s usually after party drinks in the hotel bar. Thirdly I don’t get woken up by the kids in the morning. Fourthly it’s a free hotel 🤷🏻‍♀️

Oh come on OP, it's such a treat!

Of course you can understand it.

Perfectly normal, I've done the same. It's much easier than having to think about going home, or finding a taxi etc. And team building is important.

It’s also convenient to have a space to go if you have a gap between meetings. Sometimes in a long day, taking 20 minutes back in your hotel room can be what keeps you from either going crazy or fighting off yawns during another boring session.

You're waiting for everyone to say he must be cheating aren't you?

Well I don't think he is. I'd do exactly the same if I was in his position.

I think I probably am overthinking things. When he was drunk with me recently and discussing work he described one of his colleagues in crass terms (which made me think he likes her) and it has played on my mind.

Yeah I would do that too, so that we could all be together and I wouldn’t be rushing home. It’s team bonding and a good night out is even better when it’s free.

There are many reasons people would do it. Do you suspect he is doing it because he is interested in sleeping with one of the women? That’s possible too.

Anything is possible really!

I think this is pretty common practice, everyone can stay up late, socialise at breakfast etc.

What sort of crass terms?

Said she’s recently single and that he doesn’t know why any man would leave someone with milk tankers like she has got.

He apologised the next morning, but it did upset me.

We have a company meeting twice a year. I live very centrally and sometimes the hotel can be within 10-15 mins of where I live.

I ALWAYS stay away.

Feels like a treat, big hotel bed to myself, food & drink and not having to worry about anything.

I've done this when work events have been held in the city we are nearest to (around 40 min train journey plus a 15 min drive to the nearest station). I'm not a big drinker, but it gave me a night off when DC were younger and meant I was free to get to know my colleagues a bit as humans as well as coworkers and didn't have to stress about the last train being cancelled and having to get an expensive taxi home. In a mostly remote team, you need to meet up IRL occasionally. No shagging ever took place - or not by me, anyway!

As long as you get the same opportunities to have the odd night off where he has the DC solo so you can socialise with your friends or just have a break by yourself in a hotel room to watch TV, eat takeaway and nap if you like, it doesn't seem unreasonable.

He wakes you up for a lift when he has had too many - and his children as well?
and talks about someone in crass terms