Daughter not soeaky

[Doglover36]

Granddaughter is 6 months old.. husband kissed her on back of head my daughter has not spoken to us since.. saying that we shouldn't of kissed her child.. anyones thoughts?

She had told them previously and they didn't listen. So I doubt this is the first boundary they've overstepped. And it appears without an apology.

I'm taken aback people think that even as an adult, you're not allowed to 'disrespect' your parents, but they're allowed to disrespect you.

I am NC with my Mum and there's always a final straw, after a million other things leading up to it. My life is much happier without her in it.

Perfect first baby

Well she keeps calling her a stroppy little girl having a tantrum. It's incredibly initializing of a grown woman who is also a mother.

Whether it would be said of a son or not, she IS saying it about a woman. She clearly has a problem with this woman saying no, whether she would have a problem with a man also saying no is irrelevant. Though I expect not because she keeps bleating on about "her poor husband and colleagues having to put up with her" when she has never even met this woman and knows nothing about what she is like other than she has had enough of her parents walking all over her. The misogyny is off the scale.

She doesn't think she should be allowed to assert herself because treating mothers and MILs with the respect they deserve means letting them walk over her. She didn't mention fathers or FILs despite the post being about a mother and father and mentioned a MIL when no MIL was mentioned in this scenario so it would suggest it's a hierarchy of women knowing their place that this poster has a problem with.

Ultimately, the way she is talking about a grown woman is gross and misogynistic.

Sounds like your daughter is really struggling with some sort of mental disorder.
Perhaps arrange to meet her on your own and try talking to her about how she’s doing?
Her anxiety must be through the roof to have reacted in the way she has.

Hard to meet and talk to someone who is sulking. People like that can rarely be reasoned with.

Your daughter is batshit crazy.

You know what? My mother and MIL 'don't walk all over me' - but at the same time I don't 'walk over them'. We coexist harmoniously, without imposing toxic atmospheres and awkwardness on each other. In other words - we get on! We are different in some things. I would do things differently to them and them to me, but that is life and that is society. I have had times when I have thought 'I wouldn't do that' and I am sure they have said the same about me, but we don't make mountains out of molehills because we actually appreciate family life.
Some people need to go NC with family members for good reasons, if there is abuse but this should be rare.
Sorry, but young people are far too dramatic nowadays.
Nobody sees the need of month long tantrums. Or 5 minute tantrums! Tantrums should be over by the time you start school and sulking once you are out of your teens.
And yes, I would say the same about a boy/man. Happily so.
I stand by what I say - this girl will come skulking back one day or another. And while her passport may state she is a 'grown woman', she needs to learn how to act like one.

I think everyone knows that! But doesn't stop others having feelings, you think it's normal for a daughter to suddenly stop talking to both parents because of this?

She is "acting like one". She got married, she built a home, she had a child. She has put rules in place to protect that child, and when people repeatedly ignored those rules and put her child at risk, she put her foot down and stopped allowing them access to her child to protect them.

That's is both acting like a grown woman and being a bloody good mother.

What are you on about difference of opinion, just getting on? Ignoring rules someone set to protect their child and doing things they told you not to anyway isn't a difference of opinion, it's disrespectful a d no one has the right to do that whoever they are. No one gets to tell me that they would do this things differently to me then proceed to do whatever they want to my daughter. Hell no.

You're insistence on posting nasty judgements about a woman you haven't met and no nothing about and deriding her calling her a child etc. is gross. And cutting someone off because you don't like the way they treat you or children is not "having a tantrum" it's exercising your freedom not to waste your life on people who upset you. Everybody is entitled to not want to spend time with or talk to people who are upsetting them.

Sorry but if you told people you'd didn't want them to do a certain thing to your child, then they kept doing it anyway and you just saw it as a difference of opinion and let them carry on, they ARE walking all over you.

Not saying it will be easy; clearly it won’t. But it’s on mum to sort it out.

This !👆

But the dd already did that... op and her husband refused to respect their dds wishes despite it being explained... being respectful of your parents does not equate to letting them walk all over your boundaries. As adults it's for op and her husband to manage their own feelings and act respectfully in someone else's home with someone else's child. As a parent it's ops dds job to defend and protect her child however she sees fit whether others agree or like it or not.

Is she though?

Not being funny but with the very limited info op has provided people are leaping to assumptions- no way of knowing if this baby is vulnerable, if they were full term, if there's any family history that make make them more susceptible to rsv etc. Op isn't entitled to know any of that and may not have been told if there are valid medical concerns. All she needs to know is she's been asked not to do something in order to protect a baby and she and her husband have decided what they want is more important. I think that says so much.

I am not trying to imply that all parents who set boundaries are concerning or abusive, and I sincerely apologise if my comment caused offence to anyone.

I just have a real problem with the argument you often hear on here "my house, my rules" or "my baby, my choice" because it does imply some kind of omniscience on the part of parents, which we know simply doesn't exist! Many parents make bad choices for their children, either through ignorance, emotional ill health, or occasionally actual malice.

I think it's important to judge each situation on a case by case basis and work out what the best thing for that particular child in the particular situation with. Rather than going with the an assumption that whatever someone wants for their child must, by definition, be in that child's best interests.

I worked in safe guarding for a long while, and it genuinely makes my skin prickle when I hear a parent say any version of "my child, my rules."