Daughter not soeaky

[Doglover36]

Granddaughter is 6 months old.. husband kissed her on back of head my daughter has not spoken to us since.. saying that we shouldn't of kissed her child.. anyones thoughts?

It's the parents responsibility to keep their child safe, keeping the baby away from people who knowingly expose her to herpes is being a responsible parent.

Shouldn't he of indeed? :-)

You don’t see the problem?

He went against and ignored his daughter’s wishes, and crossed a boundary. But you don’t see the problem?

How arrogant.

It doesn’t have to be active to spread. If you have the virus, you shed small amounts all the time

🙄🙄🙄

I had bad OCD which peaked when I had my daughter, the worry about RSV and cold sores was crippling. She did get RSV at 10 months old from nursery and it was horrific. Your daughter is over reacting but it may be a sign she’s struggling. It’s also not unfair of her to ask you not to kiss the baby because trust me, you don’t want the baby to get RSV.

Context is key. You do seem to have form for kissing babies without knowing you have a cold sore, judging by your previous posts so I can see why they are pissed.

@NotSmallButFunSize
Maybe the op's daughter has learned from her mother?

Why does the OP having a cold sore mean her DH can't kiss the GD? Does all seem a bit OTT. Are you or your DH allowed to cuddle the baby? Such a sad world we live in that little children are missing out on cuddles and kisses, not just from family but in childcare settings too.

Sorry yes - HSV is responsible for almost a quarter of neurological damage occurring in UK infants postnatally but before the agecof two. It can cause brain damage and occasionally death.

The herpes simplex virus is a common cause of neurological damage in children under two - you can easily look it up.

Your own dad though? Come on, unless.there is massive back story...

I agree. Totally weird.

I think cold sores are spread by contact not droplets. It differs depending on the virus.

If she asked you prior to not kiss the baby then you shouldn't have and an apology is due, sure it wasn’t done intentionally.

What do you mean? Do you think people can't pass herpes (or RSV, but in this case we know the grandmother has the herpes virus, so grandad probably has too) on to their grandchildren?

No we realise that RSV can and does kill babies

Also, once you have the virus, you have it for life and it crops up with a big angry cold sore every time you are under pressure - plenty of brides wake up with an unsightly one on their wedding day!

I think the DD is not handling her annoyance the right way, but I can understand why she doesn't want the baby exposed.

Well I think it depends on the baby. Ds1 rarely ever gets ill and was the same as a baby.

Ds2 is much more sensitive and has just came out of hospital after needing multiple nebulisers for yet another chest infection and tonsillitis.

I was a lot more relaxed with ds1 but almost every time I have taken ds2 to a playgroup or in close contact with someone with a cold, he’s ended up in a&e with tonsillitis a few days later (he develops a non blanching rash with it so sent straight to A&E). He also had rsv as a baby where he went limp and was blue lighted in an ambulance to hospital.

You say you wash hands with colds but if your dh has had one I can understand why she is pissed off. Washing hands isn’t going to make any difference to a cold if you’re kissing the babies head.

Kissing on the BACK of the head won’t pass germs onto the baby. On the lips I get but the back of the head? Totally ridiculous.

Is your husband the baby’s grandfather?

Yes, and I asked my GP who said that a child in nursery/going round playgroups, which most babies are by 6 months, is not really at risk from a relative kissing them (assuming all the things other posters have already mentioned), but to avoid kissing a young baby on the face. This was a few years ago, so feel free to check, but I did ask because of the cold sore incident. Obviously that was someone kissing a newborn on the face.

You frequently get herpes on the back of your head do you?

If say 70% of the adult population has HSV-1 , does that mean that 70% of the population shouldn't have children, in case they pass it to their offspring ?

Back of the head is safer but I can still understand the concern if there are cold sores in the family.

I don't agree with the DD giving the silent treatment. She'd be better to send op some information about it and explain why she is upset; instead we all are. It sounds to me as though she is struggling with anxiety and losing her rag a bit.

Give her an apology op and tell her you've done some research and understand the risks now. There are risks.