Daughter not soeaky

[Doglover36]

Granddaughter is 6 months old.. husband kissed her on back of head my daughter has not spoken to us since.. saying that we shouldn't of kissed her child.. anyones thoughts?

You say this like she did somthing wrong. She didn’t want you to do it, you knew that yet your husband did it anyway.

I think that ship has sailed.

I guess its the thought of it transferring onto their bedding or wrap/banket.

Babies are precious to mums, and the thought of a potentially dangerous germ on the back of their head isn't all that nice.

It's much easier for us to see how low risk that is as it isn't our baby.

Well there's been a massive campaign by the NHS in recent years with posters all over health centres etc telling people to never kiss babies / toddlers as RSV cab be very serious for them so it's probably more to do with actual scientists' advice I would think

Yes, but that's not how to handle it.

I’m guessing there is a huge backstory tbh. OP doesn’t seem like the greatest communicator based on her short answers here.

I doubt she’d leave her child with people who keep trying to kiss her.

Yes, maybe, you could be right. The cold sore info was rather an omission.

Well there is your answer and I’ll bet this isn’t the first time you’ve ignored her wishes. No one goes NC because someone forgot something once

I would say YANBU as it doesn’t sound like a rule I would make, but if she’s asked you not to do it, then your H was wrong to violate that boundary.

Not talking to you for a month for kissing the baby on the back of the head sounds like a huge over reaction. But anxiety, tiredness and hormonal imbalance can make the parents of young children a bit prone to that sometimes.

Has he apologised?

I would wonder though, why your DH did something he’d been asked not to do and which didn’t need doing? And whether, especially given she’s kept it up for a month, this reaction was less to do with over reacting and being unreasonable and more to do with it being the straw that broke the camels back. If she was just sick of you (DH) running roughshod over her autonomy, ignoring her requests and treating her like a child rather than an adult and the mother of her own child.

A big change to someone’s life, like a child, can often lead to them asserting themselves over things that have been pushing boundaries for a long time.

It makes more sense now. You always have cold sores, DP likely kisses you, DD said don’t kiss the baby as it could spread illness, you’ve both gone and kissed the baby.

So DD is thinking what the fuck do I have to do here, they won’t listen to me, my baby is going to end up with herpes at this rate - why won’t my own parents respect me and why would they risk the baby’s health?

For heaven's sake, you can't get herpes off bedding or clothing.
The baby will be crawling about putting all kinds of crap in her mouth in no time. Silly girl has spent far too long on Google.
Throwing her toys out the pram for a MONTH???

equally, I am going to put a laugh emoji on this one.
She might find it creepy an old man to kiss the baby on the back of the head

He kissed her on the back of the head??!??!??!

Thank fuck I will be dead soon, the world has gone mad.

It's really sad that you feel "treating your mother and MIL with the respect they deserve" means you just let them walk all over you.

It's even sadder that you've been conditioned to believe that standing up for yourself and keeping people who dangerously ignore your wishes repeatedly away from your own baby who is your responsibility to protect is throwing a tantrum.

Adults get to say no. Adults get to say stay away from me if you won't respect me. I'm sorry you don't feel you can assert that to the older women in your life.

Silly girl has spent far too long on Google.
How patronising.

Sorry but my thoughts are that shes a loon and a snowflake gen z

A bit over protective?

Admittedly a bit older but ours made mud pies and kissed the cat.

All ok, all made past infancy, teenage years and into adulthood.

Op not saying this is the case but my inlaws usually tell stories like this where they explain something making me sound completely unreasonable ( the stories always get back to me from other family members) but miss out all the details which would back me up. Also your last post sounds like you dont respect your daughters boundaries if you're implying she been taking it out on us all... shes had a baby. Like another poster said. Her baby her rules.

Hardly a minefield. They were simply asked not to kiss the baby. If you can’t follow a simple instruction like that, you are the problem.

I understand she was annoyed if it was against her wishes but not to talk to you for a month is ridiculous. When she eventually decides she wants you for babysitting, I’d be unavailable.

Yes, if OP has somehow forgotten to mention that he had his fly unzipped and was drooling, I could understand the hysteria.

If anything deserves a laugh emoji it’s your post. Do you think your own dad and children’s grandad is a creepy old man?

We all like to think we know it all but daughters dont randomly stop talking to both their parents for one kiss.