Partner’s son smashed telly again and DP says it’s my fault???

[AutumnSquashSoup]

honestly I’m shaking writing this I just don’t even know anymore 😭
so DP’s lad (14) was here last night and started kicking off cos I told him it was time to come off xbox for tea, next thing controller’s flying across the room and bang straight into the telly 😩 screen’s got this massive crack now all lines down it

DP comes home from work and instead of telling him off he starts having a go at ME saying I “wind the lad up” and “don’t know how to talk to teenagers” like sorry for trying to feed everyone?? I was literally making spag bol with baby on my hip and eldest climbing on the sofa again

now he’s stormed off in the van saying he’s not paying for another telly cos “it’s always drama in this house” well yeah maybe if you actually parented your kid for once 🙄

I don’t even know what to do anymore can’t afford a new one and kids are crying cos they can’t watch bluey
I’ve honestly tried with that boy but he just glares at me and calls me names under his breath

AIBU to think DP should pay for the telly and actually tell his son off properly for once??
not asking for judgement just advice pls

Son is violent and abusive & can’t be in your home until this has been dealt with- because he poses a threat to you and your belongings; causes you distress; disrespects you; is creating an awful environment for your own small children; and is setting them a bad example.

You need to refuse to have him in the house.

if you are not allowed to refuse to have him in the house, ie your partner over-rules you, then that ties in with the other major issue- that your partner is himself showing very disturbing tendencies. He puts you down, accepts violence to your belongings, has an awful temper, & does not parent adequately. It seems pretty clear why his son is the way he is!

I am wondering why you stay with him- if you have discussed with anyone why you stay with him & what your options are. Is this really what you want for the next 10 years?

Who does the house belong to?

I hope he took him with him when he stormed off in the van. That could be your child that is hit next time.

Well, it's not hard to see where the 14-year old gets his temper from!
Obviously DP should pay for the tv and actually parent his son but he's not gong to.
The upside is no tv means no xbox and that almost certainly means no more 14-year old.

Oh god, run for the hills from this man and his matchingly awful son.

Get rid of both

Dump the loser DP. What a revolting example he’s setting for all the children. Want more for yourself and your kids, he’s a bully. They are watching how he treats you, think about what that means for them and their future relationships.

He can make his own horrible son’s dinner from now on.

My only advice is that it won't get better. Even if your partner was saying all the right things there would be a slim chance, but if this is how he is acting there is zero.

Find a way to end it and live a happier life. Not all men are like this, it's not something you just have to put up with.

The son sounds very angry and very unhappy. Is the split of his parents recent? Perhaps he carries a lot of resentment for you specifically. Teens don’t throw things around just like that. It sounds like he needs some proper parenting and time spent with his dad just the two of them.

Is he the dad to any of your kids? If not, I'd be saying bye bye!

Is you partner the father of your kids? What is your housing situation? I agree with the other posters and say get rid but that may not be easy.

I could not live with this.

Teens kicking off and breaking things is one thing but to be blamed for it?!

Nope. No fucking way.

How DARE he storm off and run away from parenting.

What a shit excuse for a dad, and partner.

Get rid.

Well, it's your fault for not leaving this guy years ago and making new children with him instead.

This.

I'm assuming yes because she has a baby and they clearly live together

Starting to run out of sympathy with women like OP.

why do people put up with being treated like this? Honestly..

Sell the XBox and buy a new TV with the money.
Ditch the boyfriend.
Your life will instantly begin to improve.

I would also strongly suggest you begin looking at doing a the Freedom Programme. It sounds as though you’re on the receiving end of toxic behaviour from both the son and the father!

Dump DP. He's not a DP.

How stupid could your partner possibly be? It's not reasonable to throw something at the television hard enough to break it no matter what someone else has said to you. Unless you were physically endangering the son and his only weapon was the controller and the TV was in between him and you, throwing the controller was completely out of line - although whether he did it because he lacks emotional control and anger management skills vs deliberately to be an arsehole (or both) is unclear.

Yes, your partner should pay for the television and yes your partner should parent his child, in this case starting with figuring out if he needs professional help with anger management. But you can't make him do either; you can only control your own actions.

No way would I let my children be around that behaviour. Get rid, for your sake and for your young kids op.

Sounds like too much emphasis on screens
in your household, from teenager to little ones crying from no Bluey

Yes. For yourself and your children.

Get rid of him and his horrible child otherwise in a few years' time it'll be your own kids smashing your property.

That's what you take from this? Wow.

Didn't you get the memo at the beginning of the relationship:
Everything is always the woman's fault!

Honestly, get read to leave that relationship ... and in the meantime go on strike, no food no telly no childcare!