Partner’s son smashed telly again and DP says it’s my fault???

[AutumnSquashSoup]

honestly I’m shaking writing this I just don’t even know anymore 😭
so DP’s lad (14) was here last night and started kicking off cos I told him it was time to come off xbox for tea, next thing controller’s flying across the room and bang straight into the telly 😩 screen’s got this massive crack now all lines down it

DP comes home from work and instead of telling him off he starts having a go at ME saying I “wind the lad up” and “don’t know how to talk to teenagers” like sorry for trying to feed everyone?? I was literally making spag bol with baby on my hip and eldest climbing on the sofa again

now he’s stormed off in the van saying he’s not paying for another telly cos “it’s always drama in this house” well yeah maybe if you actually parented your kid for once 🙄

I don’t even know what to do anymore can’t afford a new one and kids are crying cos they can’t watch bluey
I’ve honestly tried with that boy but he just glares at me and calls me names under his breath

AIBU to think DP should pay for the telly and actually tell his son off properly for once??
not asking for judgement just advice pls

YABU for not ditching this loser.

Get rid of them both OP.

Young male commits violent act.
It's the woman's fault.. aye right.

Leave the twat and let him parent his DS without you doing the lion's share
hes a shit dad to his DS and will be a shit dad to your shared kids

My advice is to leave him, and this boy can get away from your home.

Another vote for getting rid of them both. If my step daughter did this my husband would be absolutely furious, with HER not me!

I agree with you : he should be parenting his son. And yes imo not only should your DP be buying the new tv his son should be making some financial contribution to it from.his pocket money.

I agree with pp that unless he addresses his son's behaviour I don't see how you can stay in this relationship.

Adding my voice to getting rid of father and son.

His lack of parenting skills can't be a shock to you. Your younger dc need bringing up away from both of them.

Or that will be your dc in the future..

Why do people put up with this shit

tell him you aren’t going to patent his son anymore so either he is home when he is or the boy doesn’t come.

depending on his response to that I’d then be packing his bags

I doubt the op is going to end her relationship due to this argument over the tv to be honest. Of course he shouldn’t blame her and yes he’s a shit parent, but she’s two kids at least, is calling him partner not husband and may not even work and be totally in a vulnerable position, when women put themselves in that position sadly they put up with all sorts.

op, what do you mean again. You say he broke it again, has this happened before?

Violent young male with victim-blaming father? Get rid.

I’d be telling him he needs to be present all the time his son is in “his” care and doing all the parenting of him, especially since you are so shit at it. He can cook those nights and do all his laundry (assuming he doesn’t already).

Obviously you have a baby so ending the relationship isn’t straightforward or that would be a good solution as he sounds like another stroppy child in the mix.

I’d not mention the TV again, I reckon he’ll crack before you do on that. Your kids will soon forget Bluey. How many do you have with him? Is the baby the only one you have together?

Grim why would you invite this shit into your life??

Wow! Even if there was a long and complex backstory here, it's so black and white I'm guessing you're halfway to being a gas-lit victim of abuse (I honestly don't think I'm exaggerating). The fact that you have to ask is genuinely worrying. That violent reaction is out of order for a start and if your partner is not only not backing you up, but blaming you, I'm so sorry but there's something horribly wrong there. Have you waited for a bit and tried to bring it up with him (partner) again? Once the red mist has dissipated a bit?

He’s not got your back, what an awful ‘partner’. The writing is on the wall here op, he’ll make your life hell bringing up a child together

Remember you are choosing this life.

So, you live with your partner, @AutumnSquashSoup? In whose house? It sounds as if his son does not live there - but you have two younger children with your partner, is that right?

Teens do cause ‘drama’, all the time. And it isn’t necessarily a reason for breaking up a family - but here, where the teen is not yours, and their parent is not supporting you but actively turning against you in favour of the child, it’s difficult to see how you can progress together.

Your partner sounds hopelessly childish - which means disputes can’t be resolved. It’s hard to understand what he expects from you …

My advice is also to leave the partner.

He sounds a lazy and irresponsible father, and a misogynist to boot.

He’s showing his son he can do whatever he wants and you will be blamed. He will be paying attention to that and his behaviour is unlikely to get better. I would tell your partner you expect 100 per cent back up in the moment with any issues discussed later out of earshot of the kids

Why should the lad behave any better, his dad supports it.

Insanity is doing the same thing over and over.

Suggest you leave before your DP poisons another child by allowing your currently sweet kids to go the same way.

Spilt up, kick him & his son out till he relieses its his son, not your son!

Who's house do you live in? Get rid of this sexist, violence apologist excuse of a father and his feral brat.

But if you do choose to stay with him, this. He is present all the time his son is there, actively parenting him, doing the cooking etc.

If he won’t do this then no alternative but to LTB