Is this acceptable in the workplace?

[Middleware]

In a group Teams chat someone has posted asking for some work to be done. Some one (male) has responded that ‘the queue for that is longer than the one for Bonnie Blue’.

Another woman on the chat has pulled him up for this saying it’s an unacceptable comment.

Is this acceptable? My gut is telling me this is not reasonable but I would like to formalize in my head why it isn’t. Misogynistic? Inappropriate reference to porn on a work chat?

Fwiw the bloke is a bit of a twit and the woman is highly respected but known for being a bit prickly

YABU = this is acceptable
YANBU = this is unacceptable

It is ridiculous. It's a silly fuss about nothing. Just ignore it.

Again why is it misogny?

What a fuss about nothing.

The initial comment wouldn’t bother me but the poo emoji would because it is rude. I don’t care that much if people are a bit unprofessional but I do care if they are rude to me.

I wouldn't take it further, he'll.orobably speak to colleagues and if they've said to you that they didn't think it was appropriate they'll say it to him too.
Wait for the next time, if there is one, then take it further if you feel you need to.

It's a shame you feel uncomfortable, of course you shouldn't feel like that at work. Have you expressly told him you're not interested though? A lot of people, particularly those who are ND might not get the message from a polite brush off and are more literal. You accepted his follow request, you're being polite from your own description. Why is just telling him you're not interested not an option listed?
It feels a bit like we're demonising attraction.

The whole workplace dynamic is odd. Firstly he says that, then he sends you a shit emoji, and then three men randomly and proactively told you they also didn’t like it, you sure you didn’t miss something out and you were canvassing opinion?

id let it go now, you’ve said your piece, but i feel the whole dynamic is really unprofessional.

It's unprofessional to even admit you know who Bonnie Blue is!

There are multiple threads on MN about her, various news articles and I think Stacey Dooley did a show with her (but that might have been the other girl

Knowing her name doesn't = watching porn

It is totally unprofessional.
I have worked in companies 20 years ago where this kind of banter was rife, I don't personally find it offensive either on a base level, like between friends I wouldnt bat an eyelid, well maybe I would roll my eyes or think its a grim analogy.
But today, in todays workplace and on teams, not even in a break room among work friends, this is completely unprofessional.
It sounds like he is trying to make a point and is of the I can say what I like and how I like because we live in a democracy line of thinking.
Hes an arse and needs to drag himself into 2025.

I've never heard of Bonnie Blue, presume she is a cartoon character, so have no idea if the remark was unacceptable or not.

There’s a thing called Google…..

You’d have to be living in a cave not to know who she is or the kind of industry she is in, because her antics are well publicised over mainstream media (obviously not the actual antics themselves!)
It’s a revolting comment and has no place being made in a work conversation, to follow it up with a poo 💩 emoji as well. Let’s hope this chap is single…..

Yup! The men should be man enough to call it out if he was stupid enough to say it in the first place

Me too! Let's say it was an appropriate joke from a decent bloke. Having understood that what he said was offensive to someone (even if he's too dim to understand why) a normal person would have excused himself. Sending the poo emoji is not only very immature but also shows a total lack of respect for the OP. This would make me take things to HR @Middleware .

People are so uptight it was a joke. Laugh don't laugh whatever but does it really need this much thought and energy put into it

I honestly haven't heard of her, I don't want to google in case it's something objectionable and will be in my search history. I gather from the comments she is a porn actress or something similar in which case it was an unacceptable comment.

OP I'm C-Suite and I can quarantee that with every takeover I get a dickwad trying to undermine me.
I do the M & A for my female founders and along comes M'laddo to show me how it's really done.
One told me about his Victoria's secret orgy. I licked my lips and said he must be gifted! He was out of my office in the speed of light.

Your colleague is an arse and if he repeats it I'd have a tendency to say you wouldn't know, personally you don't pay for sex!
I've been called prickly, ball breaker, a battleship. I actually don't care. I'm 59 so retiring shortly but boy these guys are such knobends. Their mothers must be so proud.

She is a porn star who slept with over 1000 men in one day

I agree with this. This response is more problematic for me than the original comment, especially given his relative seniority.

Why lie to us?

If the job that needed doing was photographing the company's annual sexy calendar, fake tanning Sydney Sweeney's legs or similar then the comment would be crass and inappropriate because it was the suggestion people would be desperate to do something under the guise of work

If the job is just an easy job which everyone wants to do... you can understand it more

It's unprofessional to even admit you know who Bonnie Blue is!

I think that's a bit ridiculous. There's all sorts of things I wouldn't bring up at work, but I wouldn't feign wide-eyed innocence if they were referred to.

This is very obviously inappropriate

In view of this I would screenshot it and raise it with my line manager -as example of as a issues

1. inappropriate unprofessional sexual reference
2. immature unprofessional response to feedback
3. unable to address as on leave
4. if he was asked for timeline about work - difficult to work with as didn’t give you one and went off

I would also keep screenshots of messages of support to say you weren’t the only one who thought so. But feel it better to come from a senior not peer given his response and as clearly others did not feel able to speak up.

Yes me too !! 😂😂😂