To be disappointed that my mom's husband donated things I would have loved

[Kate8889]

My mom husband (I was 23 when they met so don't see him as a father figure) recently donated a big box of video games, consoles etc, I saw it in a box in the garage. I have always wanted to have a video game system but have never been able to afford one.

I asked my mom if I could possibly have some of the items and she said no, these were specifically going for donation to be dropped off at a local store.

I asked if I could possibly buy with a discount, also told no, that there are things that remind him of a past relationship and he doesn't want to see them when he visits my house.

Not sure what you want people to say here, it was his property and he wanted it gone, fair enough.

You can feel disappointed but it’s his stuff at the end of the day.

I think that’s mean of him.

Sounds a bit unfair to be honest as you could tidy things away when he comes to your place.
How often does he come to your place anyway.
Do the pair of them do other things to be unkind to you or is it just this.
Perhaps you do have to just except it because they are his things after all.

I always offer things to family that I think they may like before getting rid, I thought this was common courtesy. It would take me a very long time to save up for these items. He wouldn't tell me where he was donating to.

I moved out because he told me I could no longer listen to my podcast while washing as the floor as it made me go a bit slower.

2-3 times a year maybe

Maybe he also wanted the charity to get their full value for them then. It’s his property and his choice

Careful, have you ever seen jumanj?

Love the original

You could have had a lucky escape!

Yanbu and these people don’t seem very nice at all. Families are supposed to help eachother out. If he was desperate for money to go to charity he could have asked you to donate a small amount for the items.
Other posters are right that he can do what he wants but it doesn’t mean and that he (and your mother who clearly refuses to advocate for you) aren’t arses.

I know it's his property but it's still odd he wouldn't let you have them since he was literally giving them away.

Rather selfish/mean.

He sounds horrible. What kind of console was it?

He didn't particularly care which charity got it.

PlayStation, I've never had a console of any sort

there are things that remind him of a past relationship and he doesn't want to see them when he visits my house.

It's not about the money. He wants these items out of his life. You are being selfish thinking about how you would like them and ignoring his feelings.

Wow - so he just doesn’t want you to have it. Is there a back story here as if not he’s sounding more horrible with every post.

Also (I have first hand experience of this) if something decent goes to a charity shop it’s highly likely they the volunteers/staff members will take the items meaning the charity gets no money at all (or a reduced amount).

These items remind him of a past relationship and he wants them to go to a particular charity. You don’t have a right to interfere with that just because he married your mum.

He didn't care which charity got it, was ready to bin as well

You have every right to feel disappointed but equally your step-Dad has every right to donate the games consoles, as it's his property. If they only visit you 2-3 times per year, and you can store them away when they visit, then his reasoning is ridiculous and it's clearly because he didn't want you to have them. The fact he wouldn't tell you where the items were being donated, so you could buy them, also tells you, he doesn't want you to have them. It's odd, but people can be.

This is one where I really can’t see the other side at all and I find the vote astounding.

In that case he must be very keen to have them out of his life. I’m not sure why you feel that you have a right to be given or even sold them.

If they only visit you 2-3 times per year, and you can store them away when they visit, then his reasoning is ridiculous and it's clearly because he didn't want you to have them.

There are some items I have had in my life that I just want gone and to never think about again. I wouldn't like them to be at the house of someone I knew being hidden for visits - I have just wanted to get rid of them and never think about them again. Do people commenting not understand this?

It’s his choice but I think it’s quite mean. Most normal people would give something they were getting rid of to a family member who showed interest. Why wouldn’t you?

Is this a one-off OP or typical of his behaviour to you?

Since the man is married to the OPs mum the relationship can’t have been that recent and he’s clearly had the items in his house during this time so it can’t have been that devastating to have them there. Why then would it be a problem to have it at the OPs house which he rarely visits when he coped with having it at his house for so long.