For not wanting my kid to wear hijab or get into her dads wife new culture?

[Thecuddlymeoow]

we have a 7 year old daughter.
for me is one thing learning about different religion’s and cultures but not tryna get a step kid into YOUR religion like telling my daughter if she would like to wear a hijab when she’s older, and baby daddy is a whimp and easy controlled by his wife. This may come out as an asshole but i don’t want to grow my kid into something that shes not born from. I respect people who are born from placeses that wear hijabs and have their culture and religions. But our daughter dosn’t belong in this culture shes half norwegian and half south america, im from south america and her dad is norwegian so it make sense that she takes those culture. Sorry for my bad english but i didn’t know i have to deal with a step mom trying to interfere deeper into my daughter life

Saying she can choose when she's older isn't indoctrination.

I agree. In the UK children learn about other religions and cultures at school.

This.

EXACTLY!!! Id also be educating her on women’s rights and just what is being eroded in this world

The stepmother should mind her own business and not try to influence your DD, regardless of which religion.

You are absolutely 100% not being unreasonable. Personally, I would speak to this woman and tell her to back off and leave my kid alone and let her know in no uncertain terms that she is not a Muslim and she will not dress like one and that she is massively overstepping by getting involved in this.

I’d focus on women’s rights too.

Wrong. The Koran dictates a Muslim woman cannot marry a non Muslim man. Muslim men can marry Jewish or Christian women.

Yes - a Muslim man I used to work with also told me this.

Fuck that OP,I'd be furious.
Step mom needs to learn to stay in her lane.

You need to talk to your child's dad.

Have you decided when you are going to do this or how you will go about this?

they have a "christmas lunch" which is literally just like normal school roast dinner so my daughter doesnt even bother to go, nothing at Easter - no acknowledgement of passover, Hannuka or Diwali either , i understand that Islam is the main religion in our city apart from Christianity but i find it incredibly sad. The school used to have a whole school carol servce and another couple of events at the cathedral but this has stopped apart from the year 7's. We have a lot of refugees in our city so the importance of celebrating all religions and cultures is extremely important to me, (we do have a couple of culture days ) I value all religions just not practices that undermine British values.

@Thecuddlymeoow Islamaphobia is rife in certain parts of South America.

It's not uncommon in Brazil and Argentina for hijab wearing muslim women to be targeted on the street for verbal abuse and physical abuse, often having their hijabs aggressively pulled off.

Mexico also has overwhealming societal pressure to not wear a headscarf in the workplace, educational settings and in goverment buidlings.

Which country are you from?

The increasing racism and Islamaphobia today is very frightening.

I value and respect no organised religion. They are all ways for men to control women.Luckily my DH agrees. We have picked and chosen the good bits of our religion and culture of birth- Hinduism- and chucked out the outdated bits.

My mum and MIL are a bit religious, but I did not allow them too much leeway. It was very important to me to raise secular children unfettered by what men said 2000 years ago.

I have Muslim friends and the daughters always have the choice of whether to wear the hijab or not. It is never mandatory. In all of the Muslim families I am either friends with or who are acquaintances, there is always a range of women and girls who do and don't wear it.

So there should be NO force involved at all. And if your daughter wants to wear it, well, it's just a scarf. It doesn't automatically mean she's reverting to Islam. And it likely will only be occasionally anyway. Little children like to play dress up. Don't make a big deal out of it and it won't be one.

What's outdated in Hinduism?

I really don't understand this way of thinking. And as I said, I am brown myself.
The hijab is NOT just a scarf. Women are killed, assaulted and shamed for not wearing it. Many wear them voluntarily too, but it is mandatory for some.
It is not the same as a Burberry scarf or a hat or a turban, and it is not Islamophobic to say so.

In addition, within many western Muslim families, they are very relaxed about who marries who. Two of the girls I know the best are both very likely not going to marry Muslim men (one has a Japanese boyfriend, the other has a Nigerian fiance). Their mother, while not actually divorced, hasn't lived with her husband for many years, although the children go overseas to visit him in the school holidays.

I think the Islamaphobic hysteria whips any response to Muslim culture up into something with NO resemblance to any of the families I know and have contact with.

If it involves a 5 year old girl with no religious faith, it's a piece of fabric. The hysteria around it is akin to transphobes getting hysterical about transmen wearing womens underwear.

If a woman is a follower of Islam, she is just as Muslim without a hijab as she is with one. It is what is in her heart that matters. You can't tell who is Muslim and who isn't by the presence or absence of a hijab.

I worked with a Muslim woman whose daughter married a Hindu. Her husband wasn't that keen at first but accepted it. They had two religious ceremonies.

No it’s not ‘just a scarf’. It’s tied to religion.

Pretty sure widows should only wear white.

Caste system

Also in the past widows were expected to join their husband on the pyre.

I guess the amount of attacks on women in India will give some information about how woman are viewed in India.

You can say the same for lots of religions on how women are treated differently. Those views would be seen as outdated.

@Christmasbear1 Caste rules ( yes, they still exist). Purity rules. Ritualism. And of course, many of these are cultural, not necessarily in scripture. Or twisted to suit certain people.
Luckily Hinduism also acknowledges atheism, has many branches of thought and can be practiced in a ritual free way too.

@Slightyamusedandsilly with migration to the west there are ( varying) levels of acculturation to western ways of life. The few women of Islamic background I have known who have married non Muslims came from families where parents were divorced/ fathers were dead. In a standard Islamic family with both parents around, girls marrying outside the faith is uncommon and seen as something to be avoided.