For not wanting my kid to wear hijab or get into her dads wife new culture?

[Thecuddlymeoow]

we have a 7 year old daughter.
for me is one thing learning about different religion’s and cultures but not tryna get a step kid into YOUR religion like telling my daughter if she would like to wear a hijab when she’s older, and baby daddy is a whimp and easy controlled by his wife. This may come out as an asshole but i don’t want to grow my kid into something that shes not born from. I respect people who are born from placeses that wear hijabs and have their culture and religions. But our daughter dosn’t belong in this culture shes half norwegian and half south america, im from south america and her dad is norwegian so it make sense that she takes those culture. Sorry for my bad english but i didn’t know i have to deal with a step mom trying to interfere deeper into my daughter life

Muslim women are strictly prohibited from marrying non Muslims. So your ex must have converted.

Op can’t simply ‘get full custody’. Her child’s father is equally a parent.

Op, your child’s stepmother is Muslim, and her father may well be. Your child will be ‘exposed’ to Islam by virtue of it being a religion practiced in her family. It doesn’t sound like the stepmother is trying to push it on her at all tbh, rather she answered questions she was asked.

Mixed marriages were very common in Yugoslavia, but mixed relationships/marriages are far from unheard of today in the former republics. If the stepmother is Bosniak, it’s not at all outside of the realms of possibility that he hasn’t converted.

So are you saying that you think it's a good thing to refuse to allow/countenance somebody who has grown up in one faith to freely decide to convert to a different one as an adult, or a bad thing?

It's a bit like the old MN trope of 'if your neighbours are horrid, simply move house'; or 'if you don't have enough money coming in, simply move to a better-paying job'!

So many people seem convinced that, if you want something, you can simply get it - without any outside circumstances playing any part or other involved people getting a say whatsoever!

Yep

@Thecuddlymeoow personally I would tell your daughter that you don't agree with hijabs as its part if a culture that treats men and women differently, and you believe in equal rights, so perhaps it they want her to wear a hijab then her dad should also wear one!

No girl should be wearing a hijab - you're her mother, you’re in charge. Step in as this dynamic sounds abusive and controlling. Get the courts involved if you need to.

I think they should be banned. Actually they already are in some European and in some Muslim countries.

Why is the hijab banned in some countries? The face is not covered at all. That's ridiculous.

Which European countries have banned the hijab? There are some with restrictions on wearing it at school and some sports but I don't think there are any outright bans.

Switzerland I think. And France

I don't get it either. No girl or woman should be forced or pressured to wear one in any way; but if she genuinely wants to, it is only a fuller scarf. The main thing it covers is the wearer's hair, but nobody is outraged at Sikh men wearing turbans which do exactly the same thing.

Occasionally, you still see elderly (ostensibly non-Muslim) women wearing a full head scarf that wraps around their entire head, but not obscuring their actual face - and this doesn't seem to elicit any objections either.

I completely get the issues and concerns about the clothing that covers all/most of the face, as this can be very problematic with social inclusion, equality, security and multiple practicalities.

What dynamic? Her SM telling her that she could wear one if she chooses when she's grown up?

If a 7yo girl asked her pregnant mum/SM if she could have a baby, and the adult said that she (hopefully) can if she wants to when she's grown up, would you start accusing them of controlling or exposing a young child to inappropriate adult pursuits then?

Only in schools in France I think and not at all in Switzerland. I think people get the hijab confused with the type of head coverings which also cover the face.

A niqab or burqa are different and do cover the face, as illustrated by your diagram; we don't see those very often here anyway, I cannot remember when I last did.

However people were talking about the hijab and I see nothing at all wrong with that. It would be an outrage to ban it.

I agree.

Personally I'm an atheist but if my child wanted to explore different religions I would support and help them, as far as I'm able. So to answer your question, I think it's a very good thing for young people to make their own minds up. That goes for politics and anything else too. What I was trying (and seemingly failing) to convey was that this scenario would be highly unlikely to happen in a Muslim household. The vast majority of Islamic parents would not support their children to move away from Islam and it's attendant cultures, let alone convert to another religion. In fact you would become an "apostate", which in the Q'ran and Sunna is punishable by death or confiscation of property/imprisonment. At the very least your parents and community would disown you.

Thanks for clarifying - I appreciate it.

I very much agree with you about forcing children in what to believe and in not respecting (to put it extremely mildly in many cases) their own choices; but I don't think that meeting rigid intolerance with rigid intolerance is necessarily the way to go - I think society is the poorer if we venture down that road.

As Michele Obama said, "When they go low, we go high".

Agree. Thank you.

But that's not what has happened though is it?

Are you normally prone so such overreactions?

Say no if you do not want to raise her as Muslim. Its also unsafe at the moment. So really to wear it as a non Muslim and child is unsafe. I'd say no and threaten court if he refuses.

No he first marrys a muslim and now want her surname to be same s his