For not wanting my kid to wear hijab or get into her dads wife new culture?

[Thecuddlymeoow]

we have a 7 year old daughter.
for me is one thing learning about different religion’s and cultures but not tryna get a step kid into YOUR religion like telling my daughter if she would like to wear a hijab when she’s older, and baby daddy is a whimp and easy controlled by his wife. This may come out as an asshole but i don’t want to grow my kid into something that shes not born from. I respect people who are born from placeses that wear hijabs and have their culture and religions. But our daughter dosn’t belong in this culture shes half norwegian and half south america, im from south america and her dad is norwegian so it make sense that she takes those culture. Sorry for my bad english but i didn’t know i have to deal with a step mom trying to interfere deeper into my daughter life

Having knowledge helps critical thinking.
I don’t see anything wrong with this and how amazing for kids to learn like that. One talk is not indoctrination and I assume they will have speakers of other faiths or visit various places of worship to hear people talk
My dc have been to churches, Hindu temple and a mosque. I wish they’d gone to a synagogue and gurdwara too.

Has anyone screamed Islamophobia yet? They

Thecuddlymeoow · Today 10:27
@SprayWhiteDung my kid told me she got to try and then her stepmom asked if this is something she would want in future and idk prov try to talk her into it

Sounds like the kid asked to try and the SM had a conversation. OP decided it was indoctrination

Yes, I agree. This is knowledge and understanding, not "indoctrination".
My local secondary school takes all the students to a church and a mosque.

@ForCheeryTealDeer
thats my tought as well.. i have nothing against other people learning about their culters and all of that to my kid, but not trying to influence her into this because men lust over their bodies and sexualize them so they need to hide. I want her to feel free not forced into something later on.

You want the pp to upload a primary school picture? Maybe you haven’t had young dc at school for a while, that’s not going to happen. Or shouldn’t.

She is not to try influencing your daughter in this way at all. You are 100% right that she is your DD, therefore she is to be influenced by her mother, father and the place she is raised in.
Religion, values, priorities, way of dressing, addressing others, family values are for the family to instill in the children. The society they grow up in will be another. Rest of people, nope. If tge child approaches them to ask about something, ok. But the other way around, nope.
Is this woman does not stop talking to your DD like this, which I think she will not, then I would not send my DD to their home. Her father will have to take her out, see her somewhere else.
It is a sorry situation, but when people are set to replace a parent, they do not stop. They will tell the child, oh it is a secret, only between you and me. Or similar.
Nasty people. You have to be something else to try to insert yourself between a parent and their child.

What are you talking about? Who is forcing your child to wear a hijab?

So you want your child to remain ignorant about other people's cultures and religions?

Good to know. What's the flag situation where you are?

What has you daughter's dad said? Have you spoken to the step-mum about it? Maybe you need to sit down with them both and set some boundaries.

I'm not going to post pictures of other children from my school newsletter?? What a weird demand. You're literally saying this doesn't happen? It does, and you clearly have an agenda in denying it...so what's your opinion now that multiple people are saying it is a common occurrence? Do you not agree with it as a practice?

Why would I want her learning the ins and outs of an oppressive religion? Complete waste of time.

I was going to copy/paste parts of your post to reply, but quite frankly, its all worthy of response.

1. she is not being influenced by SM, she is asking questions and SM is replying. To be honest, it's not the SM that seems to be unhinged here.

2. the father has as much right to pick the people who will be around his dd as op does.

3. the op cannot restrict access to dd without good reason. SM is not currently doing this.

4. replacing a parent? What???

I would expect it went something like this:
Child: What is the scarf on your head.
SM: It's a Hijab
Child: Why are you wearing it?
SM: Because it's part of my religion and I like it.
Child: Can I wear it?
SM: You can try it on but children don't wear them all the time.
Child: Can I wear one wheen I'm a grown up.
SM: If you want to.

If it was that type of conversation, what else could the SM have said? No? It's obviously every adult's choice what to wear and she was just saying she'd have a choice as an adult which, as she almost certainly won't become a Muslim, she almost certainly won't take up. But it's a choice that would be available to her.

Of course, if the step mum is actively trying to convert your daughter then that's not on. But I don't think that's very likely. I'm not sure Islam actively seeks converts in th way Christianity does.

People maybe don’t realise that a Muslim woman cannot marry a non Muslim man. For ex husband to marry this woman he would have at least to go through a conversion ceremony, even if from his point of view it was just a formality and he has no Muslim faith. From the wife’s perspective, they could be a Muslim household and she is trying to draw her step daughter into a religion which she views as the only true one. OP you are not unreasonable to be annoyed. Watch out for increasing pressure being brought on her. Maybe have a frank conversation with your ex to find out his true feelings on this. He might be more happy for her to wear a hijab than you think.

Your intolerance and ignorance is showing.

Absolutely no context here. I’d need to know exactly what happened, before I could give an opinion.

Have you contacted child services in Norway? I’m pretty sure that there’s a dim view of this kind of religious conversion in Norway. Eg my cousin (Hindu) was told by social services she couldn’t let her children be vegetarian (or even talk about it) until they were old enough to decide for themselves.

I would just say calmly “some women choose to cover their heads because their religion does not like women to show their hair. Personally my belief is that there is nothing wrong in showing your hair and no need to hide it. But it is for each adult person to make their own decision, and not tell others what to do”

It would be natural for her to be curious about Ex’s DW hijab but seriously over stepping for her to do anything other than answer factual questions or explain her own personal choice.

If this continues and there is pressure or persuasion I would have strong words with Ex , say you have serious objections to your child adopting religious / cultural practices under pressure and it is important that his wife’s views to not make the child a piggy in the middle.

This

I think this is it really...my children go to an all girls inner city state school that is beautifully diverse, they have friends from all different cultures which i love, including hijabis and a number of hijab wearing teachers. However the school has started to swing off balance, the last few years they have started to celebrate world hijabi day where there are lots of "positive" statements about how important to their faith the hijab is, "try on a hijab" etc etc......but there will be plenty of Muslims (including at that school) who don't choose to wear a hijab and to me, its elevating a cultural choice not a religious choice as it's not compulsory in Islam. All the emails are about Muslim festivals, we never get any emails about school celebrations for the other faiths of the UK like Judaism, Hinduism or Christianity. My DD has said she feels she doesn't learn much about Christianity at school and wants to go to church. There are more parents who wear full face coverings as well. I understand the importance of religion but we have to be teaching our children about diversity and individual choice of religion not introducing and promoting a mono culture regarding this way of dressing and cultural practise of Islam that is often linked to reduced rights and opportunities for women.

So we should be tolerant of absolutely everything even if it's a negative influence? I don't respect Islam and I won't pretend to. My opinion has been formed through real life interactions with Muslims so ignorance, nope but if it makes you feel better to throw insults around then go for it.

A Muslim woman can marry who she likes, iIf she chooses to!

Fair enough, family, Imam , whoever might cite the hard line but in practice lots of Muslim people maintain broadly cultural and religious practice but also pick and choose.

Much like Christians, Hindus etc.

Are there no celebrations and such around Easter, or Christmas?

@Thalia31 Not sure about forcing but mostly influencing her into her beliefs