For not wanting my kid to wear hijab or get into her dads wife new culture?

[Thecuddlymeoow]

we have a 7 year old daughter.
for me is one thing learning about different religion’s and cultures but not tryna get a step kid into YOUR religion like telling my daughter if she would like to wear a hijab when she’s older, and baby daddy is a whimp and easy controlled by his wife. This may come out as an asshole but i don’t want to grow my kid into something that shes not born from. I respect people who are born from placeses that wear hijabs and have their culture and religions. But our daughter dosn’t belong in this culture shes half norwegian and half south america, im from south america and her dad is norwegian so it make sense that she takes those culture. Sorry for my bad english but i didn’t know i have to deal with a step mom trying to interfere deeper into my daughter life

My husband is English but is Muslim so I wasn't sure.
If he hasn't converted to Islam he cannot marry a Muslim woman religiously (a man can marry a non Muslim woman a woman cannot marry a non Muslim man) so has your ex has converted and not told you?
Either way I'd be telling her it's a decision she and Muslim girls should make for themselves when they're older, personally I would and have used it as an opportunity to highlight that some women aren't given that choice and that's wrong and emphasise it's not something she needs to worry about unless she's wanting to learn more about Islam 🤷🏼‍♀️

I'd also make sure what actually happened before hating the new wife and maybe have a discussion about religion, probably easier going forward to try to remain at least civil.

It's fabric. It may symbolise religion but the only thing a scarf is actively tied to is the head it's on. If it's on the head of a Muslim, hijab. If it's on the head of a non-Muslim, scarf.

Are you a man because you wear trousers?
Is a man a woman if he wears a kilt/skirt?
Are you a priest if you wear an abaya/cassock?
Are you Chinese if you wear a cheongsam?
Are you African if you wear dreads?

This hysteria is nuts. It's Islamaphobia.

Nope..None of these things are comparable to a hijab/ modesty dressing.

Yes - a fascinating post. A non English speaking Norwegian who has managed to acquire terms such as baby daddy and wimp, then decides to come on an English parenting forum to describe an inflammatory situation in exactly the same writing style as all the other pro- Reform, anti-Muslim posts. But clearly not part of that wave of populism at all because - well, she's from Norway.

You don’t think material can symbolise something?

Of course it can and in this case it’s religion. It’s a simple thing that most people understand.

So you're indoctrinating your children into your religion ?

Yes it's v likely fake.

Umm you can be both Norwegian and Muslim

Why is it fake. The OP is South American not Norwegian.

Aye - then it must be true.

Koran says many things as does the bible but just as plenty of Christian have sex outside marriage or are in gay relationships - well, over 40% of Muslim women in the U.S. now marry outside their faith. But please don't let real life statistics override what some guy at work told you or ignore the broader context of what the Koran/bible says and actual practice

I find the use of "tryna" in the opening post interesting........

Muslim woman aren’t allowed to marry non Muslim men so she’s being a hypocrite trying to tell your daughter to wear a hijab.

No way would I allow that.

I tried to respond earlier, but think that I failed to post correctly.

I agree, Mildorado. As part of my my secondary middle management post (PTC in a Scottish secondary) I was involved in primary liaison.

Latterly, I was seeing a tiny number of primary girls wearing scarves. (There were very few children of colour in our catchment and only a small number of Muslims.) [ETA Yes - anyone can be a Muslim, but there are hardly any white Muslim women in my part of Scotland. I do recall that we had two siblings whose white Scottish dad had converted prior to marrying.]

At one point, no Muslim girls wore scarves to school, but we have a small number wearing them to secondary now.

We had a situation one time where a father - an Iman in a town at the other end of the county, apparently - wanted to enrol his two daughters at our school. However, he told our HT that his daughters WOULD be wearing a full niqab to school. (I wasn't present at the admissions meeting, but the HT had a conversation with me afterwards.)

Our HT told the father that they would not: uniform was mandatory, but they were welcome to wear scarves with the uniform. The father chose not to enrol them.

I'm assuming that he came to us because he'd already tried all 4 secondary schools in the town where they actually lived.

I would be counter messaging strongly. My daughter and I would be talking about cultural sexism and the inherent problems with different expectations in male and female clothing in multiple cultures. I would include the problems of clothing practices in my own culture, but I would not shy away from criticism of female only modesty policies.

We have these conversations in our house all the time anyway. It is part of raising a daughter in modern society. It would just be a gem more important in this situation and I would have to be sure to focus on particular topics a bit more.

This ⬆️.
You only need to see what's happening to women in Iran to understand this. Some of them are very brave to defy the rule.

Does his new wife even wear Hijab?

Would seem weird for such a devout muslim woman to marry a non muslim man.

Very weird indeed.

Let me see myself out lest I breach troll hunting rules.

If you're as strident with your daughter as you are on this thread, I would expect her teenage rebellion phase (against you) will be to don the hijab, quite likely irrespective of her beliefs

OP, in those circumstances, I'd be offering my dd the chance to learn ballet or modern dance. I'd take her swimming and find her a gymnastics class. Maybe see if she'd like to learn martial arts.

Teach her that a strong healthy body is not something that needs to be hidden, so she sees the whole modest dressing nonsense for what it is.

Teach your dd to value her freedom.

I don’t think this is all it seems, the OP can’t even say exactly what’s happened. Sounds like a step mum just making conversation 🤷‍♀️

Yes do this.

Similar situation with a child in DDs class.

Mum has married a Muslim man and converted and wears a hijab, she’s now brining up her son and daughter in the Muslim faith.

Dad has objected, only he’s being called a racist.

I was once a welfare officer in a primary school in an area with lots of Muslim families. Many of the young girls would come back to school in year 4 waring hijabs. They were usually very upset about it, but couldn’t show it. We weren’t allowed to say anything though as the head didn’t want the school to be accused of not being inclusive. It was one of the reasons I left the job. Poor little girls, they were treated so differently from their male brothers and cousins.

Interesting that OP has ignored all questions about whether she has or is planning to speak to the dad and step-mum.

This is such a goady thread. I'm not falling for it

That's interesting. I'm in the North of England, in a town with a sizable Muslim population. In the secondary school which I teach, probably 5/6 girls in each class will wear a hijab. The full abaya is worn by some girls.
Each primary school seems to have a number of girls wearing the hijab, I'm not sure at what age, but clearly at most they are 11. So yes, some seem to start very young.
The only thing banned is the full face covering, so the father removed those girls from the school.