For not wanting my kid to wear hijab or get into her dads wife new culture?

[Thecuddlymeoow]

we have a 7 year old daughter.
for me is one thing learning about different religion’s and cultures but not tryna get a step kid into YOUR religion like telling my daughter if she would like to wear a hijab when she’s older, and baby daddy is a whimp and easy controlled by his wife. This may come out as an asshole but i don’t want to grow my kid into something that shes not born from. I respect people who are born from placeses that wear hijabs and have their culture and religions. But our daughter dosn’t belong in this culture shes half norwegian and half south america, im from south america and her dad is norwegian so it make sense that she takes those culture. Sorry for my bad english but i didn’t know i have to deal with a step mom trying to interfere deeper into my daughter life

Is her Dad Muslim? Is your kid Muslim?

@Mixingitup No i wrote, her dad is norwegian so our kid is not muslim at all, we live in norway

Am I missing something here?

What on earth is wrong with telling a child that she can decide for herself whether she wants to follow a particular faith when she's grown up?

So her dad's new Muslim wife is trying to get her to wear a hijab and her Norwegian dad does not object? 🤔

No you are not being unreasonable! I absolutely would not want my daughter doing this.

Sure!

No not at all - she shouldn’t be exerting any religious influence over your child

What are her fsthers thoughts on his wife's proposals? The child isn't Muslim so clearly it's a no brainer but I suspect your ex is on his wife's side. In that case you will have a struggle at the very least with this.

To be clear your EX now has a Muslim wife and they want your DD to wear clothing that the new wife wears?
Hijab etc is cultural rather than religious and even in families where it is worn its pretty unusual until the girls are 11/12

Why would you ask a child if they want to wear a hijab when older if neither parent is Muslim?

Can you clarify, OP: is her step-mum trying to make her wear a hijab now; or does the SM wear one and has told her - possibly in response to a curious question - that she too can wear a hijab if she decides that she wants to when she's older?

@PraisebetoGod hes a bit clumsy but is not denying this either. Prob because if he has a kid with this woman than that kid will be learning and taken into this culture of hers, i told him that i DO NOT agree in this that no hijabs in my house. When shes 18+ its her choice what she wants to do but shes just a kid yet, and she will be learned her own culture and religions that she belongs to

Yep

You must know that YANBU.

@SprayWhiteDung my kid told me she got to try and then her stepmom asked if this is something she would want in future and idk prov try to talk her into it.

@Myrtletown Well i FCKN wish that!!!

It’s fine that your ex’s wife wants to talk to your DD about her own religion. She just mustn’t push it on her.
Can you talk to them about it?

You know white peoples can be followers of the Muslim faith don’t you? Well clearly you don’t. White people dan be Buddhist or follow the teaching of any religion.

Is she trying to talk her into it or is she sharing her faith with her?

Does the SM wear a hijab and children being curious, asked... conversation ensued?

Has your child asked if she can wear one (like her), and she has said she can, if she chooses to when she's older?

Is your ex not in a fact a wimp, but was listening to a perfectly reasonable conversation where your child is asking questions and the step-parent is giving perfectly reasonable answers?

If course if she's over there indoctrinating her that's unreasonable; but I'm not convinced that's what's happening here.

@amber763 Nope not in my household.. she will learn about her own cultures she belongs in.

So she's allowed to practice the religion you belong to? Surely if she chooses to follow Islam that's up to her? You shouldn't be forcing any religion on her. Of course, neither should her step mum.

But there's nothing wrong with her saying to her that when she's older she can wear the hijab if she wishes. Not everyone Muslim wears it, and not everyone who wears it is Muslim.

I'm presuming that her step-mum, who it sounds IS a Muslim, wears a hijab; and her step-daughter has noticed this and probably asked what it is and why she does it.

Children see adults doing something and frequently ask if they too will do it when they're grown up - that's entirely normal.

Which would be a better response? To tell a child that Muslim women like she is often wear a hijab - and, if she decided that she wanted to do the same when she's older, she too could wear one; or to tell her that, No, she wouldn't be allowed to choose if she wants to follow a particular faith or culture when she's an adult, as she's Norwegian and Norway is supposedly a hard-line intolerant monoculture country where adults are told what they must believe and what cultures they must follow and anything seen as 'un-Norwegian' is not allowed?!

Anyone trying to indoctrinate my children into their religion wouldn’t be seeing them again! Fuck that.