To insist the holiday is cancelled

[Bella2021]

DH has a big birthday next year and has booked a one week holiday for just me and him abroad. He has arranged for MIL and FIL to look after our kids (DD-5, DD-3).

MIL and FIL visited this week and said they'd do the school run for oldest DD. At 2pm they decided to nip out taking the house keys with them (car seat was left in the house). At 2.50 still no sign of them coming back so tried phoning, no answer. Both had left their phones at home. They are terrible for losing track of time. DD needed collecting at 3.15.

I couldn't get out of the house to go and get DD as they'd locked the door with my key (they had their key too and DH had other set in work). So managed to get hold of a friend that could pick up DD for me, this was 3.05 still no sign of them. Phoned school and let them know arrangements.

At 3.15 FIL comes in and grabs the car seat....he'd dropped MIL at the school to pick up DD and was heading back to pick them up. I then had to phone my friend to apologise she didn't need to get DD and phone the school. I felt so panicked and upset.

No apology from MIL or FIL. MIL went as far to say she thought it was hilarious I'd phoned the school. I want to cancel the holiday and rebook somewhere where me DH and our two DD's go together. DH thinks I'm over reacting.

YABU- go on the holiday with just DH
YANBU- cancel the holiday and book elsewhere

My parents sound exactly the same as yours. Always, always late. Always losing things - pretty much a bag, water bottle or coat every time they take the kids anywhere. Never have their phones on them. Forgot to feed them because they don't eat their own lunch until 2pm and the kids (toddlers at the time) didn't say they were hungry. Didn't think to change a nappy all day. My mum once did school pick up and somehow couldn't figure out the car seat (had been shown previously but they didn't have her very often), and because she didn't have her phone on her to call me, she put 4 year old DD in the front seat and drove home! Babysitting for the odd evening out was almost more hassle than it's worth because we'd have to basically do everything before we left, leave pjs out and instructions for the bedtime routine, honestly. It sounds like you did the right thing!

I'm not capable of being the 'parent' that I was 40 years ago

What was the big panic OP?
Child is at school, a safe environment, you have a friend who could do the pick-up,
You could phone the school to say you/friend would be late.

Have you never been or think you'll never be late to pick up?

PILs picked up when they said they would.
DH agreeing with you doesn't mean you didn't overreact.

Hrft They sound a bit chaotic, but that's often fun for littles.

They didn't forget, they came up with a safe plan, ie pic up at school hen nip back for car seat.
Obviously not your style but nit necessarily wrong.

However, I couldn't settle leaving my DC at 3 with someone else for more than an afternoon. So if it makes you uncomfortable, cancel.

This is about trust - you need to remember they have brought up children they aren’t novices … they will have a routine when they stay and it will be fine and an adventure for them and the kids … try not to build in negatives they love their grandkids and son and will be protective and caring that’s what counts surely

That is not a safe plan. It includes no contingency for error, delay or incident.

Yes completely concur with you
I also wouldn't be able to enjoy without my Children & not knowing if they're ok 💚

So relieved you're cancelling!

They forgot to give your child a drink all day stop it 🤣🤣🤣 can your child not ask for a drink ? Was she not thirsty all day ? Does she not have a juice bottle/cup ? You're finding problems for no reason here..if you don't like your husband just tell him you don't want to spend a week with him fgs ..you're being ridiculous..

Maybe a delay occurred, and this was how they dealt with it?

You were locked in your own house and couldn’t get out?? That’s your excuse?

If that was the case, they left themselves dealing with the delay with no phones to let the OP or school know, and with the OP locked in the house and unable to respond anyway. They are chaotic, incompetent and irresponsible whichever way you cut it.