Am I ungrateful because DP didn’t buy the calendar I wanted before it sold out?

[Gillinggold]

I had a shit week last week and DP knew I was browsing beauty calendar’s. He asked which one I liked and I told him the name of the one I was going to buy.

He told me not to buy it and that he’d treat me to it as one of his Christmas presents to me. I was really grateful and said it sells out quick so to be aware of that.

Lo and behold, he’s gone to buy it and it’s sold out and not coming back in stock. I was annoyed, said I really had my eye on it and would have happily brought it myself as originally intended.

He says I’m being ungrateful and that it’s not his fault. Well, I told him he’d need to get a move on at the time and feel really annoyed now….

She said it would sell out quickly. If I was told an advent calendar would sell out quickly, I wouldn’t assume that it would sell out a few days later, by 1st Oct. Clearly I’m wrong. But I don’t think I’m wildly unreasonable to not know how quickly “they sell out quickly” means in this context.

To be fair you told him last week and did say they would sell out. He's looked this week and its sold out.
In all honesty it's still September and I think he's done well to look quickly!

I wouldn't have expected an advent calendar to have sold out from when you said to when he looked.

Or they’re an economically viable way to trial a variety of often expensive products without committing larger funds to potentially unsuitable full size products. They’re also a pampering treat (often from the woman to herself) making her feel good and positively impacting her well being.

I don’t know anyone buying them hoping to be ‘turned into a thing of beauty’ 🙄

No, that’s not what I meant (or said).

Basically if I want something, I just buy it. I don’t ask DH or write a Christmas list and hope someone else gets it for me. I personally find that odd.

When DH buys me presents it’s something he’s thought of, rather than something I’ve asked for.

I mean, he just buys me normal things, but they’re things he’s come up with and decided for himself, not things I’ve specifically asked him for.

If I see something I like, I just buy it. I don’t see the
point in asking someone else or waiting for someone else to get it for me, I guess. Presents are (in my view anyway) meant to be thoughtful surprises, not something someone has picked off a list.

I’m very ordered my virgin wines one already. I’m very excited. I would have been very annoyed if my husband did that.

But OP didn’t ask for someone else to buy it from her? She had intended to buy it herself when her OH offered to buy it as a Christmas present…

I'd be annoyed too. I'm not sure why other posters are being obtuse. It is not unreasonable to buy your partner a gift for Christmas. You had also told him that it would sell out. He should have ordered it there and then if he had to wait till payday he should have said so you could order it yourself. Why did he think he knew better when op had all ready told him it would sell out?If its any consolation it might come back in stock op, it did last year. Join the advent thread on mumsnet if you haven't already.

I also don't see why posters think they have a right to pass judgement on what you would like to spend your money on.

Yes, I know, but if I personally wanted something that badly I’d either make sure it was ordered then and there or just buy it myself and tell my partner to get me something else.

The SpaceNK calendar is due back online in a few weeks - also, there’s loads still available in the shops

Maybe if they were marketed properly as beauty boxes with no mention of Christmas people would be more inclined to believe that they would sell out quickly.

Nobody with half an ounce of common sense expects an advent calendar, or anything Christmas for that matter to sell out in September.

They might expect the first lot to sell out but would then expect there to be more released in November.

It’s not an advent calendar, it’s just marketed as one to increase the wish to buy it.

I wonder how much the sales of the products in it increase once it sells out…

The replies to this thread are fucking ridiculous.

The smug fucks who tell you its all just marketing, and that makes you gullible. Ever heard of Tampax / Audi / Warburtons? That's down to marketing. Are you slating people for buying those items?

The ones who say its all samples. There are a total of 35 items, 26 of which are full size, according the website. Even if it was all samples, what's wrong with wanting to try out multiple expensive products before purchasing bigger sizes of the ones that work for you? Its what OP wanted.

The ones who are incredulous that you buy each other gifts AT ALL. I dont even know what to say to this one. Its fucking christmas. People buy gifts. You are the weirdo here, not OP.

YANBU OP.

I can understand his lack of urgency. But, having let op down he should be apologising not telling her she is ungrateful!

Were you browsing on the toilet or is first sentence a typo?

unless he managed to buy you and now your huffing and puffing like a pissed off teenager.
if I did have it I’d send it back as you are obviously a PITA

How can you be ungrateful for something you didn’t receive 🤔

To be honest, even if someone said to me that an advent calendar sells quickly I'd think I've got plenty of time yet.

They've got them in stock on wardrobe icons, by the way.

I think it is a bit ungrateful- I would be so delighted if my DH offered something like this. Surely they will restock before Christmas and he will be able to buy one for you.

Ignore everyone commenting on the price/worth.

I had Space NK last year and I’ve not had to buy any skincare this year, the last of my products are only just running out now.

I’ve got it again this year, but I seem to remember there being a re-stock late October last year after originally selling out, and even though it’s sold out online, it’s worth checking in store!

Obviously you're not ungrateful.

Ungrateful is when someone does something for you and you don't appreciate it.

You're pissed off because he promised to do something for you and didn't.

YANBU.

Meh. Bit of both, here. "It sells out quickly" was almost certainly too vague for someone who doesn't know the specific market, especially when you're talking in late September. He didn't wait until mid-November to go to buy it, he waited less than a week - he likely thought he was actually getting on it early and felt good that he was getting a Christmas present he knew you'd like bought by October 1... and then it goes tits up and instead he's disappointed you.

The "ungrateful" comment is rather nonsensical, but it's not a stretch to imagine he was feeling pretty defensive at that point. He absolutely should have just apologized and taken accountability for the mess-up, however well-intentioned he was. But I also wouldn't turn this into a big fight or insist it was more than a misunderstanding.

Maybe in the shop? Ring round

It really doesn't matter what you, random posters, would or would not buy, what you personally think of advent calendars and that you would be happy to get a slightly used dishcloth for Xmas.
OP's DP said he will get something, he didn't, now OP can't get it either - and he thinks she should be.. grateful?

No. SpaceNK sells online really early and that’s it. Some shops may still have it

I’m sure they restocked last year, and the website has an option to sign up to be notified when the advent calendar comes back in stock so all hope may not be lost!