Am I ungrateful because DP didn’t buy the calendar I wanted before it sold out?

[Gillinggold]

I had a shit week last week and DP knew I was browsing beauty calendar’s. He asked which one I liked and I told him the name of the one I was going to buy.

He told me not to buy it and that he’d treat me to it as one of his Christmas presents to me. I was really grateful and said it sells out quick so to be aware of that.

Lo and behold, he’s gone to buy it and it’s sold out and not coming back in stock. I was annoyed, said I really had my eye on it and would have happily brought it myself as originally intended.

He says I’m being ungrateful and that it’s not his fault. Well, I told him he’d need to get a move on at the time and feel really annoyed now….

£260!! 😱

I’ve just gone on their website. They have beauty advent calendars available £275 🥴🫣 edit: That’s Liberty’s which I mistakenly thought the OP wanted.

I think most people don realise how quickly these things sell out.

I think YABU because it is literally October 1st, I would never have expected it be in anyway urgent to buy a bloody advent calendar yet regardless of the brand or make!

Yes it’s £260 - I save some of my annual bonus for it usually, as a treat for myself. I get it’s not for everyone, but then I see some things people spend money on and wonder what the appeal is. Each to their own of course!

can he buy you the liberty one instead?

Me too! Do such things really sell out by 1st October?

To be honest if I was already on the site and new it was that time critical I would have just said to DH pass me your card I'll order it now as I'm on there.
I also wouldn't expect a calendar to sell out before the end of September

It was only last week you had this conversation so I just think it’s bad luck it’s sold out. No point getting in a grump over. Choose another one.

I think unless you’re clued up on this type of thing you don’t really understand. I don’t expect many people outside of beauty circles would really understand that these calendars sell out so quickly

It didn’t need to “occur to him”. She fucking told him, but no, thinks that it won’t apply to him and now she’s missed out on something she wanted.

Doesn’t matter if it’s a marketing gimmick. I love the rituals one and everything gets used. I enjoy the products, I enjoy the concept of a different thing each day and I like looking at the packaging in December. Shoot me

I don’t like that one as much as SpaceNK, but I’ll find another one I’m sure x

OP was quite happy to buy it herself. She's not being a spoilt princess, FFS, that's just being rude for the sake of being rude. She was going to buy something herself, was offered it as a present, said lovely stuff but flagged that it would sell it very soon and it did just that.
She isn't complaining that he don't get her a present, she's complaining that her other half didn't listen to her on a subject she knew more about and as a result she's missed out on something she wanted to own.

I'm not going to faint at the price or lecture OP on the worth of the calendar.

But I would give him the benefit of the doubt unless OP specifically said to get it immediately, not "they sell out quickly" I would have thought October was very early for an advent calendar.

Also, is he a good guy? Do you trust that he made a genuine mistake? Because if you have ended up with a person you consider capable of trying to sabotage your advent calendar then you have bigger issues than a lack of in-demand beauty products.

Did he know urgent meant today and not in a few weeks time?

I wonder if youtube ‘influencers’ buy them for their channel - unboxing type stuff.

That’s nice. Why did you need to tell us that completely irrelevant virtue signal? 🤪

Stop being such a whiny princess . So he didn’t expedite purchase and now you’ve got the huff
@Gillinggold knowing it was likely to sell out and if you were that bothered you’d have bought it yourself and asked him for the money

The dope needs to learn the definition of what "ungrateful" actually means. Why don't you buy him a dictionary for Christmas?

Why would you be grateful at him offering to do something that he doesn't end up doing?! He's a muppet.

You're right to be annoyed and he's an idiot for simply not being apologetic over it - blaming and criticising YOU over it is a dick move, really dick move.

If someone said to me it sells out quickly that would be my cue to buy it immediately.

I see all the halo polishers are here, telling us they ask for a dry stale cracker and they donate all gifts received to the orphanage

I think YABU @Gillinggold

How on earth was your DH meant to know a 2026 calendar would sell out by 1st OCTOBER the previous year? It's almost 3 months to Christmas! Surely the manufacturer should produce some more?!

What kind of company makes so few calendars that the stock doesn't last past the end of September the previous year?

If they CBA to print/produce more, they don't deserve for people to buy them. Also, if they sell out early, it was unwise to rely on someone else to buy it for you.

He made a mistake, I guess he underestimated how fast it would sell. These things can happen.

The real issue for me is the fact he didn’t apologise, and ask how he could make amends. Instead he said you should be grateful?

I have dated men like this, they always seemed to think I should be grateful for the mere offer to do or get me certain things. Then said thing wouldn’t materialise.

I stopped giving them the instant gratification that they get when I thanked them prematurely for saying they’re going to do something. And I started waiting until it’s actually been done.

I had a friend like that too, she was always “going to” get me something for my birthday or “going to” take me to dinner (since I had paid for her the last gazillion times) .

I just stopped reacting (and also stopped doing things that weren’t being reciprocated) to the empty promises and they soon dried up.

It may not be that deep if it’s a one off, but some people do enjoy getting gratitude for just offering with no real intention of following things through!

I don’t think I explained myself properly - what I meant was that if I want something, I just buy it, I don’t ask for someone else to get it for me.

Honestly? Just a load of people who are either incredibly
materialistic or into overconsumption

He had good intentions, didn't work out. I imagine he won't offer again so you will be OK and can do it yourself.