Am I ungrateful because DP didn’t buy the calendar I wanted before it sold out?

[Gillinggold]

I had a shit week last week and DP knew I was browsing beauty calendar’s. He asked which one I liked and I told him the name of the one I was going to buy.

He told me not to buy it and that he’d treat me to it as one of his Christmas presents to me. I was really grateful and said it sells out quick so to be aware of that.

Lo and behold, he’s gone to buy it and it’s sold out and not coming back in stock. I was annoyed, said I really had my eye on it and would have happily brought it myself as originally intended.

He says I’m being ungrateful and that it’s not his fault. Well, I told him he’d need to get a move on at the time and feel really annoyed now….

My STBXH used to do that all
the time. ‘Don’t worry about doing that, I’ll do it’ but then wouldn’t. To the extent that in the end I’d do a quick calculation in my head about how disappointed I’d be if it didn’t happen so I could gage whether to say ‘thanks’ or ‘no, thanks, I’ll do it’. False promises. All the good feeling of making the offer without the commitment and energy put in ti actually doing it.

A monogrammed pipe from his Masonic lodge?!

I’d be furious. I get the Liberty calendar (same price and similar products I think) each year and I love it. May be a good substitute and still in stock.

Happened to me last year (SpaceNK too). He definitely heard about it...

This year he was on the ball but I didn't fancy it. Typical.

Even if you told me to be quick because they sell out fast, I would not assume end of September fast. Id assume November fast. So unless you explicitly said "Now!" I think YABU. But understandabley annoyed at the situation.

I think you are being extremely unreasonable.

You say- when he went to get it, it had sold out.

So he has recently went to buy an Xmas item, in what late Sept or today, 1st October?

So he hasn’t attempted to buy the limited drop item weeks after launch has he? Just like many others desperate for these hyped gifts, they log on and still aren’t able to purchase. Why?

Because the products are designed to sell out quickly, and others knowing people will pay silly money for them, buy in larger quantities to exploit those still desperate do them.

So it’s hardly his fault. If he had waited weeks and weeks …then yes, it would be annoying but it sounds that he was aware of the release date and hasn’t been successful. Just like you may not have been successful in your attempt to buy.

To be honest, this seems like an extremely superficial issue to be upset about. Perhaps because you’ve had a difficult week, it feels greater than it actually is. It’s a calendar designed to get rid of their crappy stock and create hype. You’ve not lost out on anything by not having this calendar in your life.

What a twat. Next time you cook dinner don’t give him any but say he should be grateful you thought about it. Or sex, or anything else to show him what a stupid, unintelligent assertion that was.

The use of the word ungrateful would have pissed me off.

Though, to be honest, if I really wanted something and knew it sells quickly, I’d just buy it there and then or if he was there tell him to buy it now and wrap it up for Christmas.

Sells out quick does NOT equal sells out now. It wouldn't occur to me i needed to buy it today, it's really not his fault. It's only 1 October.

This is also what I would have done.

Ungrateful? He didn't buy it! Offer him a blow job to make up then don't give it to him, if he complains tell him he's being ungrateful.

File under things that happen when people are "only trying to help."

If he hadn't actually told you not to buy it you might be being a bit unreasonable, but as it is he did tell you that and you did warn him about the short time frame and he is a wombat.

I guess you could try being grateful that he's saved you the money (and owes you a Grade A Christmas present)?

What does he think he did that warrants gratitude?

I dont think men realise the demand on this type of seasonal product. They often leave their xmas shopping extremely late anyway so him trying to get it when he did probably felt organised to him.

So a gift is pointless unless it's something you would be unable to buy yourself? What a weird concept. I thought a gift was something you bought for someone as a gesture of affection or celebration, because it's something you feel they will like. Silly me.

What are you supposed to be grateful FOR exactly? He interfered and messed it up.

If I was told an advent calendar sold out quickly, I probably wouldn’t assume that that meant leaving it until 1st Oct was leaving it too late.

But at the same time, why not just get it done so it’s done?

But ultimately I think I come down on the side of he is not unreasonable to think 1st Oct would still be ok for an advent calendar

So can you give an example of something your partner bought you for Christmas or birthday? Just so I can get more context.

I’ve just looked at the SpaceNK site. It says join the waitlist for when they restock.

Honestly the whole beauty advent calendar trend is just a massive money grabbing con.

They release them early and tell us all how much in demand they’ll be precisely so they’ll sell out quickly,

And they’re made up mostly of samples which you can generally get for free.

I can’t believe that people are actually so gullible as to get sucked in.

Well how on earth would he know an advent calendar would sell out but the start of October?
BECAUSE THE OP TOLD HIM!
He stopped her ordering it when it was available, decided he knew better - despite being told that it would sell out very soon, by the OP who knew it would - and as a result the OP has no advent calendar and a grumpy bum whinging that she should be grateful about that.
I'd be annoyed too.

£260 on an advent calendar as “one” of your Xmas presents! 😮

I mean great if that’s your budget but dear god I live in another world.

Look, most of these advent calendars are not worth the amount you pay for them despite what the manufacturer says.

I got the M&S one for £50 last year which was lovely. Hell would freeze over before I paid more than that though.

I tend to buy what I want though anf tell people to donate to the hospice/elsewhere if they want to buy me gifts.

I mean, why didn’t he just buy it the same day. That’s what I would have done. If it was an online purchase I’d have discreetly bought it barely by the end of the conversation.

No not at all. Nice of him to offer, sorry it went awry. He obviously didn't realise quite how quickly it would sellout. I'd give him a break too.

Or a spoilt princess complaining about not getting a £260 advent calendar. Honestly do I live in another world?

£260 is a horrendous amount of money to spend on an advent calendar

This is such an irritating attitude. People buy them because they like them. It’s that simple, and doesn’t negatively impact you in any way.

If you’re not into it (as you clearly aren’t), don’t buy them. Snootiness about the ‘gullibility’ of people who choose to spend their own money on something you deem unworthy is completely unnecessary.