To tell stepson’s girlfriend she’s not sleeping over again after what I walked in on??

[AutumnMum28]

DSS (17) has had his girlfriend over a few times now, I’ve been fine with it, they sit in the living room with snacks and films etc, nothing major. Last night OH was on nights and I went up early with baby (who doesn’t sleep 🙄). Came down about midnight because I’d left washing in the machine and nearly had a heart attack when I walked past the living room… let’s just say I saw FAR too much, blanket half on the floor, both of them half naked 😳 I honestly feel sick even writing this.

I didn’t say anything in the moment, just stomped upstairs, but now I feel so uncomfortable in my own house. I’ve got younger DC (10, 5, 17mo) and it just doesn’t sit right at all. He’s technically still in sixth form, under our roof, and I don’t want this kind of thing going on.

OH says “he’s nearly an adult, better they’re safe here than in the park” 🙄 but I don’t want my home turning into a hotel room. I don’t even know how to look her in the eye now, poor girl looked mortified too.

So AIBU to tell him she’s not sleeping over anymore? Or do I need to suck it up and accept it?

Just tell them to shag in the bedroom. No shagging in shared spaces in the house.

Tell them to keep it in the bedroom and not use the common areas.

They weren't sleeping...
In all seriousness - DH needs to have a word, this clearly isn't acceptable in the lounge. Conversation around safe sex/consent and basic courtesy of everyone else in the house.

They're gonna shag somewhere. Just make sure DH tells them to behave appropriately in the house and do it in his bedroom.

Shocking to see but please don’t make her feel ashamed. Why were they out in the open though? No doors?

Tell him not her whatever you want to say to them.

Personally I’d say bedroom only and provide condoms

has you or his father spoken with DSS?

Don't stop her sleeping over, but do get your DH to insist that any intimacy is bedroom only.

Let me guess… you don’t otherwise get on with him very well and the “blended” family scenario here is fraught with tension and drama? Yep?

Eww. I wouldn't be happy about other people's secretions on my sofa 🤑
I'd tell dh to have a chat

Does he have his own bedroom? Or is he having to share with a much younger sibling or step sibling?

Does DS have his own bedroom or does he share with younger siblings?

What did you really think they were up to?

In future make sure your DSS knows that sex is for his bedroom and not shared areas of the house.

It's mortifying, but they are both of age. Just tell them it's the bedroom and it's not to happen in the front room again.
I remember DH and I had sex on his parents living room floor once as teens 😬 to be fair, they were at work, but still.

Why aren’t you directing this to your stepson rather than his girlfriend? Why don’t you tell him what you want to happen - not his guest?

better still, tell his dad to deal with his child?

I would just tell stepson to go to his room after spending the evening in a room where everyone shares the room. Or get his father to have a word with him about it.

Or step sibling as a result of this family blending ----

Presuming the lad doesn’t have to share with a much younger sibling or step sibling as a result of the family “blending”

DH needs to tell him to keep it in the bedroom and not the living room. Don’t make them feel ashamed.

His dad has the conversation about respecting others in the house with him, not you. And don't say anything to the gf!

Just say shagging only in the bedroom. Not I'm common areas!

So she's been staying but you haven't allowed them to share a room? What did you think would happen.

I agree with OH. Give them proper privacy and OH has a chat about respect, consent and staying safe.

You can't look her on the eye? What about him? Also, what did you think two teenagers alone in a room at midnight would be doing? Get your DH to have a word, it's not that deep.

I would imagine the poor girlfriend is mortified you saw her and probably won't want to ever come to the house again !!!

Does he have his own bedroom? At 17 he needs privacy, they will get up to what they're doing elsewhere if not in your home. You risk alienating him if you tell him he can't have her at home.